Friday, January 28, 2005

SpongeBob QueerPants, Part Duh

Columnist/milf Kathleen Parker takes one of the most passive-aggressive paths to moronic moral equivalence I have seen in some time.

Of course she's never heard of SpongeBob SquarePants, and of course she's just as agog as the rest of us at how much of a Big Deal has been made by Jimbo Dobson's Whackaloon Society at the Sponger's cameo in a tolerance video for young children, produced by Nile Rodgers, and featuring other cartoon/puppet icons. Oh, stop the inanity!

Parker takes a matter-of-fact tone at merely reporting the nonsense emanating from Dobson's Focus on the Family activist group, as well as The American Family Association's Ed Vitagliano. (Apparently Ed feels that "the project's subtext is celebrating homosexuality".) Just the facts, you see.

(I love how all these groups make sure to have "Family" in their name, while they spend countless hours worrying about cartoon buggery. It's only a matter of time before someone starts yet another hysterical-ninny group called "Oh, Won't Someone Please Think Of The Children?!?" [OWSPTOTC?!?].)

Yet, when commenting on the (admittedly quixotic) effort made by Rodgers' We Are Family Foundation, she scornfully derides it as the typical utopian feel-good effort by bracelet-and-ribbon-wearing PC assholes. (Yeah, but I'll bet you got both the yellow and the red/white/blue "Support The Troops" ribbons on the back of your Expedition, doncha, Kathy?)

Anyway, in the end, Parker decides that, while Dobson and Vitagliano are just off-base in their overboard sermonizing and lecturing to us heathens, the real unsung story here is how those darn tolerance nannies are just as bad. Uh, no, dearie. The tolerance people are just trying to inculcate the notion that it might be a little bit wrong to pick on people for who they are, that maybe people ought to just leave each other the fuck alone. They are cognizant that intolerant people are, by nature and by definition, merely bullies, and bullies learn their behavior both from irresponsible parents and from passive school staff, who let them get away with their shit. It's really a rather meek effort to counteract more pernicious forms of behavioral dysfunction. Meanwhile, sanctimonious assholes like Dobson thrive (and profit handsomely) on sticking their noses in other peoples' business. They are the Gladys Kravitzes of the activist world.

Additionally -- and painfully obvious even to a self-absorbed fool like Parker -- people like (and including) Dobson have the ear of the leadership of this country, a literal hotline to the President and his closest advisors, as well as numerous members of Congress. Indeed, they're currently insisting that they got Bush elected (which they very well may have), and have been making very public comments about trading political favors and influence. Ever hear of Nile Rodgers flexing his political muscle?

So it's an intellectually dishonest and unfair comparison, both in intent and political power. But to Parker, it's all just a Stalinist attempt to force us all to get along. And we won't, dammit, you can't make us!

We here at Hammer of the Blogs roll our eyes too at the innumerable painfully earnest "Free To Be You And Me" attempts by self-appointed cultural arbiters to make us all play nice like on Sesame Street. But compared with a thuggish little creature like James Dobson, fleecing the flock while he tells us all how to live, right before heading out to beat his dachshund, we'll take the Marlo Thomas crowd.

via Pandagon.


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