Sunday, January 01, 2006

Combovers And Trophy Wives For Everyone!

Noted family man and tonsorial adventurer Donald Trump is contemplating running for the governorship of New York.

Trump's office in New York had no immediate comment. State GOP Executive Director Ryan Moses said neither he nor state party Chairman Stephen Minarik have had discussions with Trump about running.


This could be interesting. Trump seems to be essentially a Schwarzenegger Republican -- socially liberal, but fiscally conservative, and inextricably entwined with the business developer lobby. Sadly, given the current climate of political starfucking, Trump and that thing on his forehead might actually be viable. God forbid a crusading good guy like Eliot Spitzer replace that useless sack of shit Pataki.

Said Frank MacKay, state chairman of the Independence Party: "(Trump) is a formidable candidate for anything he decides to run for. We would love to see him run for president of the United States in 2008 as a third-party candidate. I'd do what I could to help give him a strong base here in New York and everywhere else in the country."


Oh, fuck. Even better. Yeah, make Trump a presidential candidate. Please, please throw America into that briar patch. His bankruptcies, his sordid personal life, his endless narcissism, his crappy show that somehow survives the cut every year -- yes, let's let The Donald do for America what he's done for the already tacky, overpriced casino gambling entertainment experience. Then he can "write" a large-print, 185-page primer on the experience and get morons to pay him $24.95 for the privilege. Trump is the P.T. Barnum of the post-modern era. He'd bite the head off a baby penguin if he thought it'd get him some press.

I can just see President Trump visiting with other heads of state, advising them to get better suits, and to either have their wives' tits done or trade them in for newer models. Plus he'll have plenty of opportunities to say his little catchphrase, which he seriously tried to copyright last year. Because as we all know, before Donald Trump came along, the phrase "You're fired!" had never been uttered, or even thought of. Truly he is a Renaissance man, or at least Upper Paleozoic. Who else could dye the hair on his back and get it to comb over all the way to his forehead?

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