Erections In Baggage

[Or: Embarrassingly Insignificant Boners; Ejaculates In Bonobos, etc.


And here I used to think that Rash Limpballs' EIB network stood for "Enemas In Broadcasting" or "Empty In Brain". It's somewhat hinky that righty radio's chief gastropod supposedly has his doctor write him off-name scrips to protect his anonymity. That alone is a story that smells at least as bad as Rush's anal cyst.

No, the real question is why the Dominican Republic? Who the fuck vacations on the benighted island of Hispaniola, especially an extremely wealthy guy like Limpballs, who can easily afford a nice getaway on the secluded side of St. Bart's?

No, the Dominican Republic is mostly known for seedy, ugly things like money laundering, drug trafficking, and sex tourism. And talented baseball players, but if Rush is secretly scouting for the Tampa Bay Devil Rays, then why the secrecy, and why the boner pills?

And why have Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert steered completely clear of this? That may be the weirdest part of all.

Regardless, it should be noted that the fat fuck didn't miss a beat; he returned to his stupid dog-and-pony show joking how he'd dipped into the blue M&M's at the Clinton Library. Maybe it's just wishful thinking, but it had the whiff of desperation, as if he realized in the back of his oxy-addled lizard brain that his mouth-breathing fans, while clearly stupid beyond redemption, might still remotely start understanding just how badly they've been played all these years.

Fortunately for Limbaugh, they'll forget all about this once the next outrage is contrived and packaged for them, with Limbaugh even unwrapping it for them and wiping their asses while he's at it. Can't say he doesn't earn his pelf to at least some extent.