Party Vegetables

It's all too easy to launch deadly scuds of teh snark at the notion of earmarking a commemoration for an event which has yet to take place -- or even be defined.

THE United States Congress has set aside $20 million (£10.6 million) to celebrate the end of the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan.

The funds for "commemoration of success" in Iraq and Afghanistan were included in last year's defence budget, but went unspent amid an upsurge in violence in both countries.

So the money, of course, was rolled over into next year's budget, just in case. But again, all sarcasm aside, what are the serious identifiable criteria for "victory" or "success"? This ridiculous Yogi Berra shit Bush has been pimping for three years explains nothing. What the fuck does "as Iraqis stand up, we'll stand down" mean, precisely? Does it simply mean getting them uniforms and weapons and rudimentary training, or does it mean sticking around and ensuring they don't devolve into ethnic death squads abusing their power for revenge?

And clearly "success" will probably have different definitions and criteria altogether for Iraq and Afghanistan. Despite Saddam's criminal predations and a decade of criplling sanctions, Iraq was one of the most socially, culturally, and technologically advanced countries in the region before we knocked it over. Getting Afghanistan back to where it was in 1978 (or even 1948) would be a plus. There are different measures and applications, obviously.

Well, it's obvious to sentient beings, but not so much to this maladministration. Their inexplicable (literally, since they utterly refuse to explain any of the specifics of it) one-size-fits-all policy applies even to the ceremonial victory laps, which must be rolled over in perpetuity till an actual adult comes along to clean up Mister Man's mess.

In the meantime, laissez les bon-temps roulez!