If I Was Going To Jew-Bait, Here's How I'd Do It

Former publishing drama queen and future shopping-cart inhabitant Judith Regan, not content with pissing off every American simultaneously with her monstrous notion of pimping an O.J. Simpson cock-tease, decides to narrow her sights and do a little niche lunacy.

In an explosive telephone argument that led to her firing, publisher Judith Regan allegedly complained of a "Jewish cabal" against her in the book industry and stated that Jews "should know about ganging up, finding common enemies and telling the big lie."

A spokesman for Regan's former employer, Rupert Murdoch's News Corp., told The Associated Press on Monday that the remarks were made during a conversation between Regan and HarperCollins attorney Mark Jackson, who took notes. At the time, the two were discussing the future of a controversial new novel about baseball star Mickey Mantle.

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Butcher said that Regan and Jackson were discussing an upcoming Regan book, Peter Golenbock's "7: The Mickey Mantle Novel," in which the author, imagining he is Mantle, confesses in detail to a life of sexual exploits, including a tryst with Marilyn Monroe.

With Mantle's family and fans of the former Yankee enraged, Regan and Jackson of HarperCollins were discussing the timing and content of the book, according to Butcher. Regan became enraged by what she believed was HarperCollins' lack of support, and lashed out.

She complained that Jackson, HarperCollins CEO Jane Friedman, HarperCollins Executive Editor David Hirshey and longtime literary agent Esther Newberg were a "Jewish cabal," Butcher said.

She pleaded with Jackson: "Of all people, Jews should know about ganging up, finding common enemies and telling the big lie."

It's bad enough that she sounds like she's auditioning to be the next Mrs. Mel Gibson -- and presumably sober, at that -- but her stupid phrasing doesn't even make sense. What "big lie" are they telling, these HarperCollins people who are squashing the Mantle book? That it sucks? That no one will buy it and everyone will hate it? That Regan has pissed away whatever cachet her tiresome persona of shameless provocateur still held? That when Adam Smith upheld the virtues of capitalism, he has no idea that it would ultimately translate into some good-time girl for a mobbed-up mayoral crony trying to pass herself off as a semi-respectable publisher, peddling tell-alls from murderers and novels speculating that Mickey Mantle fucked his teammate's wife?

I'd like to say "stick a fork in her, she's done", but I'm sure they'll find a spot for her at Regnery or some such. Maybe she can help Goldbleg finish up his long-awaited Hitlery opus, and they can tour with Simpson, if he's not too busy searching for the real killers at the 14th hole.