Idol Threat

I was tempted to dismiss this article out of hand as "no shit" sort of daydreaming, but I always have a soft spot for garage bands, and the article actually serves to neatly encapsulate where a lot of people find their mindset in just trying to achieve a dream.

The problem arises when everyone has the same bright idea, which is when it basically turns into a lottery, which brings me back to why I can't even stand the promos for American Idol, much less the show. These people are laying it all on the line for their shot, and are not chosen for their talent so much as their marketability, or even just the mood of the talent scout that day.

At the judging table in front of us sat two 20-something producers. One was a young woman with sunglasses so large, she could have been napping behind them. The other was a young man with his head propped up in his hands. He said nothing and looked bored.

Suddenly Simon seemed not so rude after all.

Each of us would be given roughly 15 seconds of our chosen song to perform. No questions, no names.

Two of the singers next to me were great, even passionate. Another one, not so much.

Then I stepped forward and sang, belting out the tune with all I had. It's Aretha, after all.

I was louder than the rest, working my vibrato, stretching my arms out. The bored guy perked up a little, but still said nothing. This was the moment I had waited six hours for.

After less than 20 seconds, it was over.

Afterward, the young woman with the sunglasses turned to all of us, thanked us for auditioning, and said we would not be needed for the show. There was no banter between judges. No comments to us about our performances _ snarky or otherwise. Not even a little canned applause.

Instead, we were instructed to go, our wristbands were cut, and we walked out of the stadium.

Given the sheer scale of the show's popularity, I imagine it's practically impossible for the producers to find the time and effort to treat the entrants as if they were actual people. But I guess that's what makes it show business.

She's probably better off without Idol anyway; were she to win that golden ticket and get on -- or even win -- the grand prize is really just an opportunity to have the usual marketing weasels work you over into something they think will move product. And Schou's actual band, Naughty Bird, is pretty good, a garage band with a real singer. She's no William Hung, but then who among us is?