Friday, February 02, 2007

Booty Stall

Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be happy. -- H.L. Mencken

One expects a certain amount of hoo-ha over the showers at Yale being used from time to time for something other than showering.

Even more reliable is the harrumphing concern trolls of the conservatard club:

Dan Gelernter, class of 2009, is co-editor of Critical Mass, aimed at "collegiate conservatives," and called the episode "a new chapter in the story of Yale's continuing descent into the depths of moral degradation."

"It is not merely unfortunate, but pathetic and disgusting that the Master needed to send such a note to us... but in the moral vacuum that has been created by Yale intellectuals, students seem to be left without even the most basic guidelines for proper and decent behavior," Gelernter wrote.


I suppose they need some sort of release; if it weren't for reading the apocalypse into every instance of illicit sex and moral decadence, they'd have to go out and find their own action.

3 comments:

  1. Dan Gelernter, ummm, lemme guess: on the chunky side, perhaps a slightly receding line, doesn't date, walks around the campus brandishing his copy of the Weekly Standard or some such thing. To judge by the name, he's probably Jewish; masturbates franticly at night (too scared to do it in the showers at Yale), fantasizing about the holes in Wolfowitz's socks.

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  2. Yeah, I'm thinking your basic Jonah Goldbleg (or, really, the majority of them I've actually seen photos of) understudy. Is that "lookist" of me? So be it.

    I make no claims to be Brad Pitt myself, but it's axiomatic that people who getting some don't have time to worry about how their peers are getting theirs.

    Wolfowitz is a real piece of work; holey socks, licking his comb. And he was supposedly getting a little on the side; the low-key revelation of that (wonder what she looked like) almost derailed the World Bank appointment.

    Gelertner's the sort of smug douchebag who, when he finally does crack and go to a party, will pass out after the second beer, and wake up to a Post-it with a URL written on it, which will direct him to the website showing all the phun photos of fellow partygoers resting their ass-cheeks on his forehead, which is now bereft of eyebrows (if it wasn't already). Balls across the nose, party-boy.

    "Teabag-gate". What better way to deflate pompous asses like that?

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  3. Actually, he is somewhat dashing in his own way. Shy, yes, but polite and very sweet. The sort of fellow who will find some knock-out gal to love him and be the perfect revenge for all these horrible comments.

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