Sunday, February 11, 2007

Suite: Rudy Blue Eyes

America's Mayor stops in my home state to preach to the choir. I thought it smelled funny here yesterday. I just assumed it was that breakfast burrito I had.

SACRAMENTO, Feb. 10 -- Rudolph W. Giuliani came west to learn whether his brand of Republican politics has a chance among party members significantly more conservative than himself. By the time he had received a fourth standing ovation Saturday at the California Republican Party convention, the answer seemed clear.

Equating the U.S. fight against terrorism with the Civil War and the Cold War, Giuliani told about 750 of his party's faithful that failure in Iraq would turn that country into a "massive headquarters for terrorism."


For those of you that may not know, while California is electorally more conservative than the rest of the country thinks (especially at the local level), the state Republic(an) party might as well meet in a phone booth. Schwarzenegger's not just their hood ornament, he's pretty much all they've got, and they're none too happy with his recent leftward feints, as he sets his course for Barbara Boxer's Senate seat next year.

But as far as being some sort of fundraising pool for national candidates, good luck with that. Giuliani would have been better off just taking Schwarzenegger to lunch and schmoozing him for his Rolodex. The CA GOP basically sells seeds door-to-door, which is why even Arnold spends most of his fundraising time in such California hot spots as New York and Florida.

But hey, whatever floats your boats, fellas. The Republican front-runners seem intent on hobbling themselves early on, by trying to cater to people who loathe them. McCain cozies up to the extra-chromosome Bob Jones crowd and turns into a contemptible little Chimpco butt-boy; Romney has to overcome the impression of Mormonism as a cult (which it is, in the sense that all religions are simply institutionalized cults; Mormonism at least values self-sufficiency and thrift as guiding principles, as opposed to molesting children and infesting backroom politics).

And Giuliani?


Let's see him explain that one (or this one) to the Liberty "University" knuckle-draggers.

Me, I couldn't care less, although I never found that Milton Berle cross-dressing shit funny in the first place. But once it leaks out of its proper environment -- which is to say, the Bohemian Grove -- you court trouble with the folks who need for their politicians' personal lives to be just as perfect and spotless as their own. And a guy who married his cousin, and lived with a gay couple during his second divorce, is going to set them off before they even see stuff like this:



No, Giuliani's social liberalism and fiscal conservatism are fine with normal people. What we have to watch out for with him is that he's an authoritarian, and a cronyist one at that. True, he acted like a responsible man on one of this nation's darkest days, while its putative national leaders shat their drawers, hunkered in the bunker or hopscotched the country, and all that. He deserves credit for that, but he's ridden that train about as far as it's going to take him. He's made some bucks doing the memoir and the corporate motivational rubber-chicken circuit.

But, you know -- Bernie Kerik. For starters. Even if you set the Kerik thing aside for the moment, Giuliani has no coherent policy reflective of reality. If anything, he shows a rather disturbing lockstep with what clearly hasn't worked.

Giuliani, 62, did not shy away from the controversial positions that have put him at loggerheads with some party faithful. He praised President Bush numerous times, at one point seemingly comparing him to Abraham Lincoln. In the news conference, Giuliani said the United States is "very, very fortunate" to have Bush as president, crediting his decision to consider preemptive strikes against potential enemies as "very, very brave."

"I believe that President Bush has a very, very strong place in history," Giuliani said.


I believe that is a very, very silly thing to say, completely unfounded in reality. I think this should very, very much be hung right around Giuliani's neck for the duration.

Unless by "fortunate" he meant "cursed", and by "brave" he meant "idiotic", and by "strong" he meant "wretched".

Giuliani is almost as notoriously thin-skinned as McCain, and it's only a matter of time before one or both of them gets Howard Dean-ed by the Serious Media. And then who've they got? The aforementioned Romney, whose personal Jeebus is not to the snake-handlers' liking. Sam (Ave Domino Maria) Brownback. I'm sure Alan Keyes and Gary Bauer will run again; it's not like they have anything else to do.

Who knows, maybe we'll get our wish at long last, and the spiteful goober bloc will just stay home for a change, and we can return responsible adults to leadership positions. Can cautious optimism at the prospect of internecine self-immolation be in the wind, or is that the whiff of last night's blast of White Diamonds from Uncle Milty Giuliani?

7 comments:

  1. My dislike for anything Giuliani began years ago. Where people get this perception of him as a hero during 9-11 completely escapes me. What did he do? Walk around and look at things. Excuse my ignorance but isn't that what most other people did?

    He has nothing to go on but his speeches that contain the word TERROR every third word. Unfortunately there are many people out there who see this clown as some sort of messiah.

    ReplyDelete
  2. You make pretty muchthe same points as The Economist; except that they believe the Christian wackos are on the wane, and are becoming irrelevant to national politics. I wish it were true.

    But I didn't know the GOP in California is so small. Didn't Nixon and Reagan start off in Cali? And didn't Karl Rove cut his teeth in San Diego? Or was that his mentor, Lee Atwater?

    Anyway, next time you see a Republican you don't like, you can call this Californian. She'll take care of things for you. Heh.

    ReplyDelete
  3. "Where people get this perception of him as a hero during 9-11 completely escapes me. What did he do? Walk around and look at things."

    Like the man said, he didn't shit in his pants. not exactly a Churchillian standard but hey it beats reading a story about a goat. When is someone going to write about how rudy dodged the draft?

    ReplyDelete
  4. Right, it's not that Giuliani's some amazing hero riding in on the proverbial white horse, but comparatively, he did alright when the time came. He showed up.

    And a lot of people, like it or not, still take that "broken window theory" of his pretty seriously. It seemed to work at first, in addressing basic quality-of-life issues, but again, since Giuliani's a natural authoritarian, you end up wasting a lot of resources busting turnstile jumpers -- or worse, the policies culminate in tragic incidents like Abner Louima or Amadou Diallo.

    Marius, the California GOP is much smaller and less potent than it was during the Reagan and Nixon years. The only thing that keeps them in business at all is that, in addition to San Diego, a good chunk of the Central Valley is pretty conservative. But their in-state money base isn't remotely comparable to what the Democrats have.

    I don't think the Christofascists are on the wane so much as that they are probably going to be splintered at the national level. Brownback's probably the most popular choice for them, and he doesn't stand a chance.

    So it comes down to them holding their noses for people they hate, and a lot of them just won't do it. They're still out there in numbers, there's just no longer a reliable Republican totem for them to rally around.

    I hope, anyway. I just don't see Giuliani being at all electable in the south or the sainted heartland, and McCain's viability is dwindling by the day.

    This is not exactly wishful thinking either, by the way -- I like John Edwards so far, but it's not like I have a huge boner for any particular Democratic candidate at this point. I just think the developing GOP vacuum will accrue to them, but given their track record for fucking up the easy lay-ups, anything's possible.

    Nice wasp story, by the way. I live about 100 miles north of Sacramento, and I gotta hear about this one from a Tampa Bay news site. Gotta love them interwebs. The scariest thing was that that broad was supposed to be only 50 years old. Yeesh. Looked like a fuckin' dried apple.

    ReplyDelete
  5. By the way, Peter, I wasn't aware of Rudy's reasons for not serving in the military, pro or con, but let's face it -- this country clearly has no problem with electing draft dodgers. We just don't like to admit it.

    But since you brought the subject up re Rudy, I'm curious about it, and will check it out.

    ReplyDelete
  6. It appears Giuliani received three student deferments, the last upon special request from the judge he was clerking for. Cheney had five, and I believe even John Kerry had gotten two or three before going, so as long as Giuliani wasn't running his mouth in support of the war he was dodging, it probably won't matter.

    It's still not a bad point, in the larger sense. It bespeaks the cognitive dissonance we have about military matters and service personnel, the way we think that endlessly chanting our support for the troops is more important that scrutinizing the bums that talked tough from college when it was their turn to go. That is pretty fucking low.

    It's definitely worth reiterating, maybe pinning Giuliani down a little bit as to where he stood on Vietnam while he was sitting it out.

    ReplyDelete
  7. A few years ago, it was difficult to find synthetic motor oils, and equally difficult to find someone who admitted to

    using them. Nowadays, however, you can find synthetic motor oils on the shelves of Wal-Mart, and other retailers, and

    the number of people turning to synthetic motor oils, particularly in light of the recent events affecting fuel

    prices, has risen greatly.

    So why do people use synthetic motor oils rather than sticking with the old petroleum based stand-bys which are

    admittedly cheaper?

    1. Let's start with the cost per quart issue. Synthetic motor oils ARE more expensive at purchase. However, these oils

    last longer, requiring fewer oil changes. As a synthetic motor oil outlasts several changes of petroleum based

    lubricants, the ultimate out-of-pocket cost of the lubricant is less. This cost savings becomes even greater if you

    have someone else change your oil for you rather than doing it yourself!

    ReplyDelete