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Wednesday, February 07, 2007

Top Ten Lisa Nowak Excuses

10. Diaper rash can have unpredictable results.

9. Certificate from Ryan O'Neal School of Anger Management not paying off as advertised.

8. Wanted to provide half-assed bloggers with lame excuse to boost hits with cheap, opportunistic top ten lists.

7. Space dementia, as far as the defense lawyer is concerned.

6. Trying to impress Jodie Foster, but would settle for Rex Grossman.

5. Felt that Girls Gone Wild series does not show the entire spectrum of potential wildness some girls are capable of.

4. Three simple words: Red Bull Tang, NASA's secret rocket fuel.

3. Angry that Pumpkinhead Russert had discussed her with Libby, as described in that thing about the aspens turning in clusters. The whole Plame/Judy F. Miller thing is just a ruse, man.

2. Actually an Iranian agent attempting to disrupt American way of life, thus providing casus belli to nuke Tehran.

1. Give the media yet another excuse to ignore actual news stories.

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