Saturday, April 14, 2007

P.I.R.I.P.

It's exceedingly rare that I'll ever bother to point out a TV show that deserves to stick around, but NBC's short-lived mid-season show Andy Barker, P.I. is an exception. A very funny, quirky offering, the show has apparently been cancelled by the geniuses at NBC, and the last two episodes were "burned off", as they say in TV-weasel parlance, a few hours ago in Saturday night TV purgatory. (And to add insult to injury, every commercial break was larded with promos for some new piece of crap called Wedding Crashers, which looks like Punk'd, only at weddings. You know, this shit was only mildly funnier fifty years ago, when it was known as Candid Camera.)

Too bad, and a couple of actual financial reasons why, especially nowadays. NBC has really larded its prime-time roster the last season or so with unwatchable shite, reality crap with comb-forward douchebag Donald Trump, and "game shows" that seem quite literally to have been designed specifically for drooling morons. How many nights per week do people really need to watch Howie Mandel open suitcases for dancing monkeys? That is not a game show, that is something hopefully cured by electroshock therapy.

Anyway, here's the financial deal: anyone who follows the entertainment industry (as opposed to mostly interchangeable performers) understands that the big bucks are on the back end. Syndication rights. DVD sales. That sort of thing. Well, who the fuck is going to buy a DVD of The Apprentice or Deal Or No Deal, not to mention the Bob Saget/Penn Jillette oddball replacements of late? Where will they ever be syndicated besides maybe the Game Show Network? (One of these days, I will get around to linking to my own brief and colorful adventure in the bowels of the game-show industry, which refers incidentally to GSN.)

Two underdog comedy series come to mind as I watch them play out the string of what could have really become an innovative comedy. One is the American version of The Office, which started out very similarly to Andy Barker -- late March debut, shuffled around noncommittally, practically DOA by the time its four-ep initial run played out. Didn't look like it would come back, but someone got the bright idea to pair it up with My Name Is Earl, and the next thing you know, NBC is trying to build up their old Thursday night comedy lineup with some genuinely funny shows. Scrubs seems to have one foot out the door at this point, and if so, Barker would be an ideal fit, with many similar stylistic quirks.

The second show that comes to mind is Seinfeld, which almost got canned after the pilot, then again after its initial six-ep order from the production company. But for some reason, they decided to be patient, let the show find its rhythm and sync with the viewers, and they ended up with a cultural touchstone that must be an enormous cash cow from syndication and DVDs.

So it's dumb for the network to say that it's just good business to run a new show out the way they did. It's asinine; the show failed because they let it fail, almost deliberately it seems. Production costs for the jive-ass reality shows may be lower than for something requiring people with actual skills to write and perform, but every buck made from those reality shows is only made once, while a hit show that's cultivated with patience and timing puts money in pockets for years to come.

So grab a clue, NBC. I don't watch too many shows regularly to begin with, and life is always going to be too short to watch Howie Mandel opening suitcases or Donald Trump firing people. But hell, forget about me -- at the very least you could try a little harder to keep (Barker producer) Conan O'Brien happy.

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