Shrub and Shrubber

The Genius has landed:

"Thank you for being such a fine host for the OPEC summit," Bush said to Australian Prime Minister John Howard.

Oops. That would be APEC, the annual meeting of leaders from 21 Pacific Rim nations, not OPEC, the cartel of 12 major oil producers.

Bush quickly corrected himself. "APEC summit," he said forcefully, joking that Howard had invited him to the OPEC summit next year (for the record, an impossibility, since neither Australia nor the U.S. are OPEC members).

The president's next goof went uncorrected — by him anyway. Talking about Howard's visit to Iraq last year to thank his country's soldiers serving there, Bush called them "Austrian troops."

That one was fixed for him. Though tapes of the speech clearly show Bush saying "Austrian," the official text released by the White House switched it to "Australian."

Then, speech done, Bush confidently headed out — the wrong way.

He strode away from the lectern on a path that would have sent him over a steep drop. Howard and others redirected the president to center stage, where there were steps leading down to the floor of the theater.

The event had inauspicious beginnings. Bush started 10 minutes late, so that APEC workers could hustle people out of the theater's balcony seating to fill the many empty portions of the main orchestra section below — which is most visible on camera.

Even resettled, the audience remained quiet throughout the president's remarks, applauding only when he was finished.

Shit, and Austria Australia is one of our few remaining friends. Nice goin', Harvard. And how much is this little circle-jerk costing us, anyhoo?

U.S. President George Bush arrived in Sydney on Tuesday night for the APEC summit, amid security arrangements unprecedented in Australia. Police cleared a path through Sydney for the president's 30-car motorcade to travel unhindered to the Intercontinental Hotel, the Sydney Morning Herald reported.

A 700-strong entourage, including U.S. government officials, Secret Service agents, bodyguards, close friends and media are traveling with Bush.

Y'know, I recall another smart fella who couldn't keep those tricksy countries straight:

LLOYD
Excuse me, can you tell me how to get
to the medical school? I'm supposed
to be giving a lecture in twenty
minutes and my driver's a bit lost.

YOUNG WOMAN
(heavy European accent)
Go straight aheads and makes a left
over za bridge.

Lloyd checks out her body.

LLOYD
I couldn't help noticing the accent.
You from Jersey?

YOUNG WOMAN
(unimpressed)
Austria.

LLOYD
Austria? You're kidding.
(mock-Australian accent)
Well, g'day, mate. What do you say
we get together later and throw a few
shrimp on the barbie.

The Young Woman turns her back to him and walks away.

LLOYD (CONT.)(to self)
Guess I won't be going Down Under tonight…

He SIGHS and zips the window back up.

That proves it once and for all -- it's Preznit Lloyd Christmas.