Sharpening the Crayon

What better pastime for a blustery December day -- on which the Raiders are spanking the Donkeys, no less -- than to peruse the Sunday paper and find stuff to pick apart? Let's start with a letter to the editor, shall we?

Editor - Our soldiers, who are risking their lives every day in Iraq and Afghanistan, need and deserve to be fully funded as they face our nations' enemies on a daily basis.

Sounds good, right? Who among us is not in favor of making sure the troops do not have sufficient equipment, training, and means to see to their operational responsibilities in as safe and effective a manner as is possible? Well, let's find out who.

There are some in Congress who do not see any improvement in these countries and sadly, I truly believe that no matter how good the news is, they will not admit any amount of success. They consider a victory for our forces a defeat for their political viewpoint.

How "good" is the "news"? What constitutes "success", not to mention "victory"? And how exactly is it that only these -- aw, fuck it, let's just call 'em defeatocrats, since this passive-aggressive chump doesn't have the balls to just come out and say it -- folks on one side of the aisle are the only ones to be playing politics here?

It's a tragedy that our soldiers should be used as pawns, as many in Congress want nothing more than to slap President Bush in the face.

Many in America, and many around the world, feel the same way, pal. But again, how does one arrive at this moronic conclusion, that this is a rhetorical battle between the manifestly eeeevil and the Simon-pure? No snarkasm intended, I just want to know how someone gets to be so fucking dumb.

The wielder of the crayon finishes with a predictably weak feint.

I believe it's time for the average American stand[sic] up, regardless of political party, and shout: Stop playing with the lives of our sons and daughters.

Yes, Republicans and Defeatocrats, let us all come together and shout incoherently at the Defeatocrats, who won't let Saint Junior play with people's lives in precisely the way he wants to. Because his judgment has been just spectacularly unerring up to now. How dare the citizens of a putative democracy demand a modicum of oversight, and how dare the people they voted for finally grab some sack and do what they were asked to do a year ago?

You have to seriously wonder how some of these bozos manage to tie their fucking shoes in the morning, unless this clown is just part of the velcro strap brigade, or confined to his pajamas.