Professional Courtesy

More shocking revelations about your librul media. For Jeebus' sake, don't let Jim "Ambushes Old People and Children in Church" Adkisson hear 'bout this 'un.

Despite yesterday’s explosive report confirming that top Justice Department officials, including Monica Goodling and Kyle Sampson, had violated federal law, the White House press corps has not asked White House press secretary Dana Perino a single question about it. Both yesterday’s and today’s press briefings included no discussion of the report, nor a question on whether Attorney General Mukasey would follow through on a criminal perjury referral from Congress.

Well, of course not. They're waiting for Drudge to tell them about it. Some of the questions are real fuckin' beauts, man. I'd be most proud of myself if I'd waited around to launch this potent scud:

Is the President pleased that Americans are driving less, to the tune of maybe $10 billion -- 10 billion fewer miles a month? Does he think that's a positive development? Is it conservation? And is he worried about the Highway Trust Fund?

To be fair, Perino sock-puppets Mister Embeeayyy's "markets work" schtick with a surety of rhythm and cadence that almost makes you forget that, properly phrased, the question might have had some actual utility in limning the administration's sneering contempt for any actual conservation measures, as well as its continuing neglect of the national infrastructure. Doesn't matter much if gas hits ten bucks a gallon if the roads are full of neck-deep chuckholes and bridges are falling apart, now does it?

But at any rate, way to phrase it as obsequiously as possible. "Is [Junior] pleased that I'm not wearing underwear?" Who the fuck cares what pleases him? Tee-ball pleases him, sweet cheeks. Driving around his ranch pretendin' ta be a cowboy pleases him. That help ya with the turn-on list yer puttin' together? He's six years old; he's not particularly dialed in on the economic ramifications of drastic resource constraints during a recession. But I'm sure that he's pleased that you wonder if he's pleased. That much you can count on.

Kee-rist. What have these people been doing for the past eight years, sniffing each others' asses? It's as if they still haven't quite figured out who and what they've been dealing with for nearly a goddamned decade. Perhaps a nice diagram would help.

Not that I'd do much better if I were there; every time Dana Perino appears on my teevee, I start grinding the screen like I'm cuttin' a big ol' hog in the ass, and the next thing I know, I wake up on the floor several hours later with my footie-jammies around my ankles. Same thing happens when Scrubs reruns come on. Can't decide whether it's a curse or a blessing sometimes.