They Ask Questions

Question of the day comes from one H.R. PufnstufClinton, who splits residencies between Chappaqua, New York, and the sixth concentric ring of hell, which I believe was the one with all the ice:

"Iran has threatened other countries, including the kingdom," she said. "Iran has funded terrorists that have launched attacks within other countries, including the kingdom [of Saudi Arabia]. Iran is the largest supporter of terrorism in the world today. . . . You have to ask yourself: Why are they doing this?"

Indeed. You have to ask yourself. So let's do exactly that. Iran is surrounded by three huge nuclear powers -- Russia to the north, and India and Pakistan to the east. And Iraq, occupied by a couple hundred thousand Americans, to its west. And leading American politicians constantly threatening, sanctioning, or threatening to sanction. Not to mention the surge of Jebus rifles (and Jebus Predator drones) in Afghanistan.

So they are quite literally surrounded by much larger, historically aggressive entities. Does it even need to be said how completely unacceptable, how unthinkable such a situation would be here?

So Hillary Clinton, who hails from a country which has not exactly been shy about fostering terrorism abroad to suit its own interests, takes the podium at a, um, "women's college" in a medieval despotism that violently oppresses its women for amusement, a country which also happens to be Iran's bitterest enemy in the Arab world -- a country which has also managed to bankroll its share of suicide bombers and such like. And she asks exactly what the dealio is with these crazy Iranians, anyway. Grapefruit-sized cojones on this broad.

I mean, Jesus H. Christ, we shit our pants over every kleptocrat and banana republic who dared step out of line for the past seventy years, and we're wondering why Iran acts paranoid? It's just a shame Americans have no capacity for irony or self-reflection. Too bad for Ahmadinnerjacket that his country is now a handy pawn for leverage with China and Russia, but hegemon is really a shared (if unequally) burden.

At least the obnoxious polemic, no better than the crude red-meat rhetoric Sarah Palin tosses to her gibbering throng, should be countered. I'd remind Ms. Seckaterry o' State that it wasn't mostly (or any, for that matter) Iranians that knocked down the fuckin' World Trade Center, for starters, but there's a decent chance she already knows that. In which case, to borrow her own catch-phrase, you really have to ask yourself: Why is she doing this?