Dixie Key Party

So Fatboy and his big ideas, tiny cock, and swingin' heart won the day down in the original Treason in Defense of Slavery state. Awesome. That weird sound you just heard was every comedian, and every member of Obama's campaign team, simultaneously creaming their jeans. America's Wang should be even more hilarious; maybe they'll go for Santorumentum, or perhaps a stray dog wearing a sandwich board (or one of Rick's cool sweater vests).

No one in the corporate media has the balls to say it on the record, since this perpetual reality teevee show is their bread and butter in a dying market, but the Goopers' primary has long since degenerated into an ass-kicking contest consisting entirely of one-legged people. Only more hilarious. It's only a matter of time before they start using Yakety Sax for theme music at the remaining debates.