Friday, May 03, 2013

Consider the Twittard; Or, The Ballad of Fuckface Von Clownstick

Doop-de-doop, let's see what 'murka's favrit toupee farmer is doing with his historically unparalleled success. Oh look, he's pimping his piece of shit teevee show -- that just got beat in the ratings by the entire Fox lineup -- and getting into another butthurt flame war with a comedian:
Those are not copy-and-pasted together, mind you -- they are consecutive posts.

But wait! Donald also has unwanted advice for the flailing newsprint industry:
No, only Trump is smart enough to take a publication struggling to retain some vestige of legitimacy, and turn it into a print version of CNN. Not that Trump vouching for a guy named "Pecker" isn't a thing of ironic beauty. Maybe Pecker can take over Time and give Bat Boy a column.

That's the business savvy you want from someone who claimed and proved that Barack Obama was born in....no, wait, that didn't quite work out. Well, he is the guy who successfully sued that nasty Bill Maher for $5 million and....oh, wait, right.

Hey, how about that Macy's line, amirite?

I hate people who spout this final one like it's some sort of hidden, profound wisdom:
Ahahaha. Right. Are there still people out there who actually believe this, or do they just not understand what the word "never" means, that it is immeasurably different from, say, "sometimes", or "occasionally"? Maybe we can send those folks over to the Congo (borderline NSFW), with Donny and Billy on the first plane, and they can toss that one out to the folks there, see what that gets 'em.

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