But it sure as hell sounds one hundred percent accurate:
When Donald Trump told Republicans that his campaign had money, it was a lie. In meeting with Senate Republicans, Trump’s campaign privately admitted that they have no money and will not be able to run television ads until after the GOP convention in July.So, let's recap, shall we: One of Miller's biggest positives, according to the double-digit IQ mouth-breather cultists who support him, is that he's "self-funded" and therefore beholden to no one. But just in the last couple weeks, Sheldon Adelson (you know, the other casino-owning scumbag), has already pledged $100m to the cause, since his last 100m pledge -- to Newt Gingrich in 2012 -- flamed out hilariously. And now it turns out that Miller doesn't want to pull a Meg Whitman and dump his own money into this after all.
People like Adelson and Miller are living proof of the old Dorothy Parker saw about how if you want to know what God really thinks of money, look at the sort of people He gives it to. (Not to mention the other old joke about how only the good die young. Both of these fuckers have long overstayed their welcome.)
(Also, too: Of course, should Miller choose to accept Adelson's filthy pelf, he will immediately be put on notice to consult with Bibi Netanyahu on all foreign policy matters.)
Bonus grifter douchebag news, as we enter this fine holiday weekend: Apparently someone attached a five-dollar bill and a six-pack of Schlitz to a rope and dragged it through a trailer park (or maybe just stood in front of a bathroom mirror and said "Candyman" out loud five times), because sure as shit, Judge Judy Junior attached herself to the hull of the good ship Clownstick, and tried to rally the dipshits in San Diego:
Sarah Palin made a surprise appearance at a Donald Trump rally in San Diego on Friday, telling Trump supporters that members of the political establishment "want you all to feel stupid."No, dear, stupid is anyone thinking that you or Deadbeat Donald have any clue what the fuck you're talking about. Stupid is thinking that either of you have anything but your own self-enrichment at heart. Stupid is not realizing that Sarah Palin stopped being relevant the day after she and John McCain got their asses kicked back in 2008. Stupid is not somehow understanding that the most over-exposed asshole on the face of the planet is just that -- an intellectually mediocre borderline personality whose qualifications for the most powerful job on the planet are hosting beauty pageants and pretending to fire people who don't really work for him.
“Stupid is some people are actually going to vote for the crooked one,” Palin said, referring to the "Crooked Hillary" nickname that Trump has given Hillary Clinton.
During the primary, Trump shook up the professional political world, Palin said, exposing politicians as beholden to special interests. She said the Manhattan billionaire “blew the lid off the corrupted and corroded machine. He was like a golden wrecking ball. He wrecked what needed to be wrecked."Oooh, sounds like someone got a thesaurus for St. Quitter's Day! Hey, who's keeping an eye on the meth lab while you're a-hangin' out in Sandy Eggo?
These idiot bastards are certainly right about one thing -- we're about to find out what kind of country we really are, whether there are enough morons to fall for the schtick of a clown who couldn't sell steaks to one of the most beef-obsessed countries in the world, or if there are enough adults who have the guts to send these two bozos back home, once and for all.
Seriously, I'm not sure which prospect is actually worse -- a useless pig-fucker like Donald Drumpf filling three or four SCOTUS positions and completely lawn-darting what's left of the US, or that if they won, we'd never be rid of these two losers. They'd never fucking go away. If that's not enough to get you to vote for Hillary Clinton -- or hell, for Jeffrey Dahmer -- then I don't know what would be.