Turtle Soup

Good profile of Addison McConnell in the New Yorker. The main thing to keep in mind about Moscow Mitch is not that he's the closest thing this country has to a flat-out traitor, nor that he's a soulless piece of shit lamely failing to masquerade as a human being.

No, the real takeaway with McConnell is that he's exactly what Republican voters want and deserve, and the sooner Democrats realize that nobody in that party can be "worked with" anymore, and that they must devote themselves to the goal of treating the Republicans as a hostile entity that must be completely eliminated from every facet of American governance, the better off we'll all be.

The fact that McConnell loathes Trump is not exculpatory, even though it hews closely to the "ends justify the means" expediency of the worst ideologues. In fact, it bonds McConnell to Trump inextricably, as the latter's term propels down the road to disaster and into the scrap-heap of history. Their relationship is not adversarial; it is deeply, grossly symbiotic.

McConnell is at least astute enough to know what sort of a turd Trump really is, a complete failure as a human being and utterly unfit for the office he defiles. McConnell loathes Trump and still does his bidding, obligingly, even cracking jokes at times. Hilarious.

No doubt McConnell tells himself routinely, in order to resist what must be a constant temptation to punch every mirror he passes by, that he is simply a reluctant, realistic observer of the dumpster fire that comprises the crude kleptarchy that now misrules the nation. The fact is that while Addison may not always be the guy holding the matches or the gasoline, he is the prime caretaker of the fire's ability to keep going constantly. He literally could stop all this at any time, and chooses not to.

The thing about these types is that they believe in "legacies" and such, and as he gets nearer to his eighties, no doubt Addison ponders from time to time how he'll be remembered. No doubt his donors and dogsbodies will sing his praises, but any decent person not previously rented by him will spit when they say his name, and envision themselves one day making it out to whatever marbled box Addison finds himself encased in for eternity, and taking a fat greasy dump at the head.

These are people who could have done anything with their privilege and power, but actively chose to dedicate themselves to making their communities and states and country worse places than they were. They will be remembered as such, except only by the rented losers of the industry. And every single person that still votes for scumbags like Addison McConnell, knowing what they really are and just not giving half a shit or thinking it's funny, deserves to burn in hell.

All that said, maybe it's time Democrats took a page from McConnell's playbook and turned it on him. He's ruthless, an evil master of procedure and mechanical process, and completely ready and willing to tear his opponents a new asshole just for the fun of it. The idea that Senate Democrats should continue to be "led" by an insufferable, pusillanimous twerp like Chuck Schumer is no longer acceptable. Time to go LBJ on those fuckers. No mercy.

It's time -- to use the technical jargon -- to fuck shit up. No more ice cream socials. Trump is openly looting and shaking down hospitals during a fucking plague, stealing PPE from medical personnel to auction off to the highest bidder. Maybe some of our elected representatives could look into that? If not now, when; if not them, whom? [extra points for pre-emptive grammar pedantry]

This is, in the strictest Clausewitzian sense, war. It's time to act like it. Get dirty, win back the White House and the Senate, and then set about reclaiming state legislatures, and crush that party of traitors. It's come to that -- either the Republican party ends, or the United States does. That's really all there is to it, and a lot of the reasons for that rest on the narrow, arthritic shoulders of Addison McConnell.

At the Movies, Dotard Edition

Ahahahahaha. TFW when you identify with Captain Bligh.

It's weird that someone doesn't quite seem to get how "one of [their] all time favorite movies" worked out for all the characters involved. But never is he more on-brand than he displays a spiritual bond with other exemplars of cruel stupidity. Can't wait to hear his thoughts on how misunderstood Jame Gumb was.

Seriously, when someone literally takes pride in being a straight-up irredeemable piece of shit, with this toxic level of consistency, you should pay attention. Nothing is beneath him. He is capable of anything. The level of indifference and dereliction is disgusting to see, and exhausting to keep up with.

We need a government that is responsive to this sort of thing festering in the halls of power. If the Democrats are not going to step up and at least read their protest into the official record, then we need new and better Democrats. This is unacceptable. His assertion of absolute power is itself an impeachable act, one that would had Obama or Hillary strung up within hours. People should start taking these warnings seriously, because there's not likely to be many more of them.

Maybe a Diagram Would Help

We really do need a new and better media ecosystem. The current one enabled the turd to get into office, and now gives him a daily soapbox to spout deadly lies and proclaim himself king over and over again.

I don't feel sorry in the least for Paula Reid or Yamiche Alcindor or whoever's turn it is in the barrel this week. No one held a gun to their heads and forced them to do this. Nothing useful or newsworthy is being disseminated by these things. Oh, you're telling me that the federal government of a hollowed-out empire is headed by a pudding-brained megalomaniac? I did not know that. [hacky Johnny Carson voice] That is weird, wild stuff. Ed, did you know that? [Ed:  I did not know that, sir! Ha-ha-hah!]

This is fucking stupid and pointless, and every one of these so-called journamalists should be ashamed of themselves. Hell, I'm embarrassed for them.

There are two really simple, fundamental rules to being a good journalist:

1. Tell the reader something they didn't already know.
2. Make sure that what you're telling them is based in empirical fact.

Corollary to Rule #2:
In the event that you are required to perform some sort of stenographic duty to the lies of power, at some point you need to plainly note that the statements you're transcribing are not only untrue, but that there is every reason to believe that the person saying those things knows it -- in short, that it's a goddamned lie.

If you can't do those things, you need to find another line of work. See, after three interminable years, we already know he's a bum and a psychopath and a brazen liar. This is not news. Seriously, what kind of sad loser is sitting there watching that crap, anyway? Whatever "side" you find yourself on, if you ever find yourself doing that, you've failed dismally at the business of life. Even if you have a vested, financial, or professional interest in the proceedings or the outcome.

Maybe instead of sitting there like chumps, waiting to literally transcribe lies and temper tantrums, they could go out into this vast land of ours, and talk to the doctors and nurses and all the beleaguered medical staff who are wearing diapers on their heads and garbage bags on their bodies, because the useless dipshit who is banging Trump's blow-up doll of a daughter is selling scarce PPE to the highest bidder.

I don't know, do you think that might be a more interesting angle to a deadly plague that still has yet to peak, rather than trying to rope ol' Genius Q. Dealmaker there with a lame "gotcha" question? You see, those questions only work on people who care at least a little bit about getting caught in a lie.

It's time these dopey scriveners acted like they understand that basic fact. They have no one to blame but themselves and each other at this point. You're either part of the problem, or part of the solution. You can either keep playing Emperor Cartman's stupid little game, or you can start acting like you give a shit about something greater than your paychecks.

Dr. Feelgood

I don't get the big public hard-on for Dr. Fauci. Yes, he's clearly a qualified physician, and yes, he's clearly the most honest broker on the stage for the daily plague follies.

But that's the extent of it, and it's an embarrassingly low bar. On the one hand, it might be an interesting move for Diamond Joe to poach the good doctor and make him the flash pick for his shadow epidemic team. On the other hand, I don't know about you, but I'm not interested in taking any sort of life advice -- medical, financial, anything -- from anyone willing to serve as a spokesdog for these fucking monsters.

Fauci probably tells himself that he's simply doing what good doctors do, prioritizing human life above all other considerations. But even that's true only in the most technical sense. This has already cost far more lives than it should have, due to incompetence and refusal to prepare -- indeed, a deliberate process of dismantling the epidemiological infrastructure in place to get out in front of these things.

I've said repeatedly that what you've observed over the past couple months is exactly what will happen when even the most virulent plague, something out of a dystopian horror movie, comes down. It could be the fucking 28 Days Later instant kill-rage virus, and you'd still have Orange Furious diverting necessary supplies to toady politicians and henchmen fencing them out the back door. You'd still have that ghoulish slapdick son-in-law of his hitching up his onesie and pretending he could lead a fat kid to a candy store.

These people are pure scum, and they've never made any real attempt to hide it. That has never remotely been an exaggeration. They're vile fucking people, the absolute worst humanity has to offer, and that's always been true of them. This has nothing at all to do with politics. It would be true if that ridiculous piece of shit had never thrown his toupee into the ring. It's just a sad fact, made all that much sadder that there are so many weak little suckers and saps that cling to him so pathetically.

I mean, it's bad enough that they're in a cult, but if they'd at least have bothered to center it around a more worthwhile object of worship, like a river rock or a farm animal, instead of this ludicrous old man who wears diapers and snorts Adderall.

But here's the thing -- they do this with every disaster. Every single one. They did it to Puerto Rico. They did it to California after we had a massive wave of deadly wildfires in 2018. There has been no disincentive for them to not behave this way. They will continue to do it until someone stops them.

If only there was -- and just hear me out, I'm just spitballin' here -- but an organized group of duly elected leaders who make a point of opposing these episodes of dismal behavior. You could, perhaps, refer to them as an opposition party.

I seem to recall that such a team was put into place in the 2018 midterm elections. It was understood by all that this was the express will of the majority of citizens, to stand up in opposition to the corruption and mendacity of this human centipede of an administration.

And so after months of hectoring and badgering, the opposers finally cherry-picked the most narrowly-scoped articles of impeachment they could draw up, rode them well in the House hearings, and then stalled in a sham trial that was shut down by people who can charitably be described as traitors. And then they shrugged their shoulders and told us to vote again in the next election.

And so here we are.

Hurricanes, wildfires, pandemics. All of these have one critical factor in common -- climate change. Yes, there have always been these things, but the frequency and severity are increasing steadily, while our modes of preparation and mitigation have been sabotaged.

Fauci has chosen to be part of this team, again most likely lying to himself that he's keeping the problem from getting worse. But is he really? Trump has been undermining him steadily, while his monkeys in the conservatoad "press" do their jobs and defame him, and so now the drooling basetards -- when they're not sending death threats to Dr. Fauci -- are calling for him to be fired, because the science disagrees with the object of their slavish devotion.

So in the end, Fauci is going to be kicked to the curb and scapegoated, more people have already died than should have, and will continue to do so, which means Fauci will have lent his expertise and integrity and dignity for nothing.

Let me put it more concisely -- nobody who works for these fucking animals should be trusted about anything, ever. I stopped listening to Fauci and Birx and the rest of these gutless sellouts weeks ago, and you should too. They sold out. They are not on your side. Whatever personal integrity they might have had at one time evaporated like the financial backing for another one of Shithead's dopey money-laundering "branding" frauds.

Fauci will be remembered as the Trump Steaks of the medical profession. Period. If he had any real integrity, he'd have crawled out of this dumpster fire a month ago.

Something Good

This is just the start of what -- if it's even remotely successful -- will be a long and excruciating process. But it's an important start. Nicely done, Wisconsin.

It's easy to get cynical about the country in general, and shenanigans baked into the electoral process in particular. I think I'm more guilty of that than most people, and I'm sure I'll be back to it soon enough.

But last week's vote was something special. They closed down literally 97% of the voting precincts in Milwaukee, and then told everyone to go out and wait in line for hours, in order to cast a vote in the middle of a plague.

And they did it, the voters of Wisconsin. They showed up, they stayed in line, and they bloody well did it. They deserve huge credit, and hopefully this serves as an object lesson for all of us in November, because we all know they'll pull this same shit again, and worse.

The old Emma Goldman saying is that if voting really mattered, they wouldn't let us do it. And it certainly feels like that much of the time. But once in a while, it's nice to be reminded of the counter to that narrative:  if it didn't matter, they wouldn't keep having to cheat so hard.

Plague Diary: The Cruelest Month

Wednesday April 1
The amount of work ramps up daily, even hourly some days. Telecom assistance and setup alone takes up huge chunks of the day now, and there's still the regular helpdesk and dashboard maintenance. It's good, but I reserve a part of my mind to review personal projects still in motion. So many sounds to check out, ideas to get scratch recordings of, fiction and poetry themes to sketch out for further development as soon as possible, whatever that means.

It's great to have that creative hunger returning more and more every day, but only when there's enough time to do justice to at least some of those ideas. And it's hard to "make time" when you're tired at the end of the day.

Probably not an ideal time to indulge in the usual April Fools office pranks, as tempting as it may be to glue phone handsets to their consoles, and put clear plastic wrap under toilet seats. Maybe the odd upper-decker will suffice.

There is a strange sensation of everything moving a mile a second, and yet standing still. It makes no sense, and yet there it is. The eerie silence of a massive ocean wave rearing to its full height, just before it crashes with a deafening roar.

Imagine a 9/11-sized body count -- or two -- every week for the next month, maybe the next two months. And not in Puerto Rico this time, but in New York and Florida and Michigan and other places that can't be ignored or written off so easily.

Adam Schlesinger died today. I like his music a great deal. He was five months younger than me.