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Showing posts with label dingbats. Show all posts
Showing posts with label dingbats. Show all posts

Monday, January 26, 2015

Sarahnade

Looks like our favorite MILF (that's Moron I'd Like to Forget, smart guy) has outdone herself once again, to an extent that even tools like Byron York and Billy Kristol, who have never missed an opportunity to rub one out over her, are backing away slowly. Jon Stewart had probably the best line for whatever that stream of semi-drunken blather was burbling out of her cakehole:

“You know, that’s the kind of talk you hear before the pharmacist says, ‘Ma’am, you’ve gotta leave the Walgreens,’ Stewart said after one excerpt. “Now we know what it’s like to get cornered by Palin at an open-bar wedding.”

Perhaps more fascinating (to me, anyway) is the photo making the rounds, of Palin and veteran (and Medal of Honor recipient) Dakota Meyer, holding up an extremely homemade sign saying "Fuc_ You Michael Moore".

The sentiment itself is nothing, obviously, just usual useless woofing from the usual doofi. The interesting part is that Meyer (who presumably took the what appears to be roughly 12 seconds to scribble this thing) chose to self-censor by deleting the "k" from "fuck".

As you might imagine, I am rigorously anti-censorship in general, but really this sort of thing is literally -- and yes, I do mean literally -- incomprehensible to me. The censorship of a mainstream media outlet reporting a quote from someone who dared to say one of The Seven Dirty Words, okay -- I may disagree with it in principle, but I get why they did it. Conventionally a newspaper or magazine will typically print the dreaded f-word as "f***" or maybe "f--k", something like that, enough for you to get the gist without committing too heavily.

But I'll be damned if I understand self-censorship. Use the word you mean to use, by god, and either stand full behind that word, or pick a different one. Don't be fucking mealy-mouthed about it. Their inability to say what they mean to say is annoying as all hell, and again impossible to understand.

Then again, we live in a country where shitty fast food is hawked every ten minutes with a shitty cover of a shitty song about a violent home invasion. Any number of political campaigns have done that and worse, trying to cherry-pick a single phrase from an old hit song, even when the context of the song itself completely undermines the point the candidate is trying to make. Bush-Cheney using Won't Get Fooled Again, but not the "meet the new boss, same as the old boss" part. I have never understood that, and I don't understand this removing-the-last-letter thing, like we don't all know what you're talking about, douchebag.

I'm curious as to what sort of dopey asshole thinks they're classin' up the jernt by removing the k from the word fuck. The cognitive dissonance, the inability to see the disconnect between trying to make what you think is a fresh, bold point, while simultaneously diluting its intent and impact.

Then you have the crosshairs in the two o's in "Moore". This is a classic example of some people never learning because they really don't intend to learn anything. Suppose we ask Gabrielle Giffords what she thinks about what crosshairs mean. Their chickenshit denials that they don't want anyone to get hurt are every bit as chickenshit as their ricockulous "fuc_ you" nonsense.

Fortunately, Palin's time seems to be just about up, whether or not she knows it, whether or not she even cares. Nobody cares whether she might really run for office, any more than they care if Donald Trump might run for office, because as dumb as these motherfuckers are, they're at least smart enough to know that neither Palin nor Trump will ever really run, because that's work, that's a job you actually have to show up for, and work with other people.

But the goons that empowered her in the first place, who have moved on to assholes like Ted Cruz now that Palin is used up, reveals herself to be meaner and weirder and dumber with each new appearance, they're still around, still voting against themselves, their families, their communities. They've managed to damn near destroy the country in slightly more than a generation, with nothing more than piss and fear and spite, and an endless supply of bullshit.

(And, of course, the bizarre impracticality of making every potential chief executive applying for the position to genuflect to a state which is statistically much different from the most populous and prosperous states, and contains just one percent of the nation's total population. As opposed to, say, California, where nearly 1 in 9 Americans reside, and which would be a top 10 world economy on its own. Nah, that would make too much sense. Let's let Meth County decide with a hawg-gelding competition.)

Friday, September 12, 2014

Wife of the Party

The Palins plan their dine-and-dash from The Golden Snoot.
The Wasilla Hillbillies just cain't help theirselfs, kin they? Showing up at someone else's birthday shindig in a stretch Hummer limo (because a dented Airstream would have been just too fucking spot-on), the ClampettsPalins promptly set about making it all about them, as usual:

....multiple accounts say that it started when Track confronted Willow’s former boyfriend, Conner Cleary, who was there with his father Steve and his mother Melissa. Thompson didn’t see this part, but other witnesses, who didn’t want to be named, say that Conner and Track fought on the front yard. Steve tried to break it up. Todd jumped into the mix and began to choke Steve. 
After that ended, Conner, Steve, and Melissa Cleary huddled together close to Thompson, who spotted Bristol and Willow from a distance, walking straight towards them with purpose.

“They were on a b-line, coming straight at Melissa,” Thompson said.

The owner of the house, Klingenmeyer, was trying to head them off at the pass. He approached them and told them to leave. Bristol, according to Thompson and other witnesses, planted her feet, “stood straight up, brought her arm back and cold-cocked him right in the face,” Thompson said.

And then she did it again, about six more times, before he pushed her away, and she fell, and Todd appeared.

....

Another melee. This time Sarah got involved and began to scream profanities at everyone. One source, who didn’t want to be named, said that she was “nearly crawling on top of people,” trying to get into the scrum.

As these things go, that also broke up, and the Palins were asked again to leave. They piled into the Hummer, but not until Track stood out in front of the house, inexplicably with his shirt off, his middle finger raised at those who were also leaving.
On the one hand, it's so cool that the most important woman in the universe has time to crash other people's parties and siphon cash from rube subscribers; on the other, her slugging percentage with successful parenting is sad enough that a normal person with that, um, track record would shy away from offering family and parenting advice.

A few more "doncha know who I am?" tirades from Miss Thang and her insufferably over-entitled drunken brood, and they may find themselves sent out on an ice floe by fed-up Alaskans. As always, one can hope.

Oh and, uh, fuck you, John McCain. This is all your fault.

Thursday, July 11, 2013

Gravy Train

“I’ve considered it, because people have requested me considering it." -- Future U.S. SenatorPermanent punchline Sarah Palin

OK, we should know better than to throw chow to America's Concern Troll, but this now-annual flareup of mad cow disease, like political herpes, is still worth a jab of rhetorical Valtrex:

Really, Mark? Really?

Margaret Thatcher used to say, “I always cheer up immensely if an attack is particularly wounding because I think, well, if they attack one personally, it means they have not a single political argument left.” So, thank you, Mark Begich, for making me and others exceptionally cheery today! Mark, after looking at your voting record I can see why you are looking for a distraction. You have voted FOR Obamacare, FOR massive tax increases, FOR carbon taxes which could cost Alaskans 21,000 jobs, AGAINST pro-life legislation, and there’s so much more. You even flip-flopped to oppose the nation’s balanced budget amendment. You agree with, and vote with, ultra-liberal Senators Chuck Schumer and Harry Reid approximately 90% of the time.
Setting aside the high-school girl zomg!srsly?! intro, corporate dogsbodies like Schumer and Reid are "ultra-liberal" only in comparison to unrepentant knuckle-draggers and obstructionists like -- well, like pretty much every do-nothing, glad-handing dipshit in the Republican side (and much of the Democratic side) of Congress.

And while it would serve Alaska and America just right to hand this dingbat a Senate seat, as punishment for not ignoring her enough to make her go away already, as noted yesterday, it's almost certainly not a concern:

Whatever you think of Palin, you have to give her this: She is a genius marketer of the “Sarah Palin” brand. She has turned herself into a celebrity. She is a well-compensated speaker, author and now, again, Fox News Channel political analyst.

And, to Nelson’s point above, Palin knows that the worst thing for that brand would be to return to the political arena as a candidate and lose.  To run would be to risk the  cachet and marketability she has built up in conservative circles. And Palin is plenty smart enough to know that.
And that's all there is to that. There is no there there, and never will be again. She'll never run for office again, preferring instead to pretend to be a rainmaker for unibrow backbenchers out in Gawwwd's country who otherwise would get laughed out of dog-catcher elections.

And when the audience for her ghost-written freedom/jebus/obamanazi/libruls stole Christmas doorstops finally dries updies in a tragic Hoveround pileup at the candy-corn Oreo display at the WalMart, then you might notice a distinct lack of shrillness, a bit less of the roofing-nails-on-chalkboard wail in the air.

Of course, by then an even bigger pain in the ass will have shown up, because that is how this country rolls.

Saturday, April 27, 2013

Mad Cow Disease

Boy, do I ever envy the lucky bastard who ends up stuck with this ballbreaking dunce (via Balloon Juice commenter). "Smoke more pole, you dumb bitchez, we're falling behind!". Awesome.

Just funny. Glad we're not taking college too seriously or anything. Hope the 'rents are happy with how their not-so-hard-earned dollars are being spent. She'll be a (pain-in-the-) asset at whatever unlucky employer she lands.