Free Speech for the Dumb

Oh, they do jest, don't they?

When did conservatives become prisoners to idiotic vulgarity?

Jeez, I get that the guy is in, like, Englandia and stuff, but where has he been, really? Look, Brit Van Winkle, for one, the people who consider themselves "conservative" in America are anything but, as far as the traditional definition goes. They are reactionaries, about as far from "conservatism" as one can get.

The modern traditionalists, bravely trying to hold on to a powdered-wig philosophy, like to think they are upholding Burke and Locke, John Stuart Mill, David Hume. Maybe Bill Buckley casting himself as the man bravely standing athwart all the scary civil rights movements of fifty years ago, crying "Stop!". Nice try. This is Hofstadter country, this here.

For one -- and maybe Professor Oxford doesn't realize this -- American conservatives don't read, at least not the founding documents of the traditionalists' proto-views. Hell, plenty of American liberals don't read outside their self-affirming bubbles either. But the current strain of American "conservatism" is really just anti-"liberalism," counter-reformationist swag against what is really just corporatism with a sprig of fake conscience for garnish. All they want is one of the flying monkeys to convincingly walk them through the Two Minutes of Hate on any given day.

It took this guy this long to get embarrassed by the barmy stumping of Ted Nugent, after years of countless cartoon characters making names and careers for themselves talking shit and peddling lies about Democrats too weak-willed to punch back with any real conviction? Sure, Nugent's an asshole on wheels. But A, he's been their asshole for a very long time; and B, he's one of a seemingly endless collection of assholes.

The only thing that makes Nugent stand out a bit is that he plays guitar and speaks perhaps a bit more colorfully than the pecksniffs would prefer. That Nugent trucks in what he thinks is referring to a, um, spade as an entrenching implement merely clarifies what they are all really thinking.

It is a point of more recent observational "liberal" humor to proclaim this or that shithead flyover state -- Texas, Kansas, Florida, etc. -- as the "meth lab of democracy." I'll go you one better -- American democracy itself is a meth lab. Hell, bath salts is more like it, the shit that turns you into a face-eating zombie.

After two or three generations of elitist indoctrination from the Himmelfarb-Kristol high-falutin bullshit factory, and another generation or so of Limbaugh and his infinite homunculi, and an ever-escalating glossary of calumnious nonsense, it's no wonder the electorate is as polarized as it is stupid. Why read Locke when you can just crank up Michael Savage, or vote for some jabbering teatard? Why learn to think for yourself -- or even think at all -- when you can just slap some bumper-sticker horseshit on a meme generator and inflict it on all your Facebook friends?

This sort of thing has been going on for a long damned time, there is simply no excuse for plainting why or when or how it got "like this." It has always been like this, it was just never this quick and easy to spread the virus to so many so quickly.

Better Off Ted

This is probably another one you can file under "said it before, but it bears repeating", but whatever. When we enjoy a song or movie, once we get familiar with the individual who made it for us, we tend to make mental associations that are difficult to break. Countless examples abound, of course, but probably the most famous examples are Roman Polanski, Woody Allen, and Ted Nugent.

Of these three, obviously Nugent made a point of escalating his "toxic asshole" quotient, where Polanski and Allen have at least made modest demurrals regarding their past transgressions, went on about making their art, and stayed away from making tendentious statements in general, not to mention provocative political sound bites in particular.

Indeed, Nugent has made it a point of pride to spout his nonsense to any microphone within reach. He doesn't have to worry about consequences because there are none for his side of the aisle -- you can pull any bullshit quote out of fat air, slap it on a tee-shirt or bumper sticker, and dare everyone to call you out on it. Every time this moron opens his cakehole, you see plenty of snappy action quotes about how the tyrant Obammy is taking away everyone's rights -- but never any evidence cited, nor the rather obvious retort that if he's such a bastard, how is it that you're able to get on Cousin Cooter's drive-time shit-show and flap yer gums, and not get sent to the gulag?

And so, as someone who has played rock guitar for nearly 30 years now, and counts the Nuge as one of hundreds of influences, it becomes a situation where you're forced to separate the music from the madness, the same way you can enjoy Chinatown as a work of art and craft, and not think about Roman Polanski butt-fucking a 13-year-old on Jack Nicholson's couch. Except again, Polanski, while insufficiently contrite, at least does not go out of his way to exacerbate the situation.

Meanwhile, in addition to his moronic political spewings, Nugent has another thing in common with Polanski and Allen -- his move, back when he was 29 years old, to become the "legal guardian" of a 17-year-old girl. Oh, and his twice-asserted draft-dodge of shitting his pants in clothes he wore for ten days before his physical for Vietnam. For a self-proclaimed tough guy who wants to jam an automatic weapon up Barry and Hitlery's soft pwoggy asscheeks, the Tedster sure seemed to back down when it was his turn at glory.

But the bottom line is, there comes a point where the artist's bullshit outweighs the cool things they did. And frankly, while you can charitably find a handful of solid tunes from the '70s, and even be generous and throw in a Damn Yankees song or two, there ain't much else to this guy, really. I'm as pissed at Obama as the next guy, but if Nugent thinks Stranglehold or Great White Buffalo give him cover to call the president a "subhuman mongrel" and then issue a half-assed non-apology, well then he can just go fuck himself. He's a creep and a dipshit, and it's about goddamn time the "liberal" media stopped giving him any play at all. Fuck off already, old man.