Temperamental Fool

Well, it's good to see that borderline personality Drumpfski has been playing nice all this time, holding back out of decorum I guess. No more Mister Nice Guy, you crooked bitch, I'm comin' for ya!

If anyone ever wanted a real-life mashup of A Face in the Crowd and The Night of the Hunter, looks like you got your wish.

Good to Know

Jesus H. Tapdancing Christ, either Mike Pence is dumber than a box of rocks, or he assumes that his voters are. Chances are, the truth is both. Just for that, I hope the entire Democratic Party digs deep, doubles down, and hits these fucking morons with every cheap shot and schoolyard name they can think of. Al Franken could help out there.

What a fucking asshole, as in "Fucking Asshole Mike Pence." How's that for name-calling, Fucko?

Size Matters

Let's talk about music (rock and metal music, anyway), especially the media on which it's produced now. This is a point I've made pretty consistently over the years, more so since things have shifted so drastically to a la carte digital -- the traditional cycle of a 50-60-minute album, usually containing at least 25% "filler" tracks, supported by a tour of 9-12 months in duration, is (or should be) dead and buried. The only reason it persists is because most bands (that is, bands who are not at The Top, whatever that means these days) spend at least some of their touring season at festivals, where the costs are more scalable and the crowds are much larger (even though you're competing against dozens of other bands for their attention).

The paradigm shift of the past decade in particular points (at least to me) in the direction of shorter, tighter "album" sets, supported by shorter tours, peppered with "special" releases of one or two "bonus" tracks in the middle of the season.

No Release

Hey, if we're keeping Leslie Van Houten behind bars for the rest of her life, the least we can do is keep this old bastard locked up until he's a moldering corpse no one would take the time to piss on, right? Blanton escaped justice for nearly forty years, remorseless for his actions, for murdering four little girls for some demented lie. He needs to know that he will never breathe air as a free man again.

And yet, if he lives long enough, it's entirely possible that Thomas Blanton might conceivably be released. Prisons have been undergoing drastic demographic shifts, with larger numbers of elderly inmates, that the prisons obviously are not equipped to care for. So "compassionate release" has become more and more commonplace, understandably so in some cases.

Generally speaking, symbolism is one of the more useless things in our benighted material plane, the idea that something is rendered somehow more important or meaningful simply by what it supposedly "means" to certain people or groups. But it must be noted that while there has always been a consistent undercurrent of racist, insurrectionist, and "white power" movements (ably chronicled by my old sparring buddy from the forum days long ago, Dave Neiwert), these groups and individuals have found themselves "empowered" by the rise of Herr Drumpfski.

Semper Lie

It makes perfect sense that a gaggle of inbred chickenhawks would have no idea what a Blue Star Service pin looks like or stands for. Why would they? This is the same brand of professional retard that bravely tries to whitesplain how well slaves were treated. It's all of a piece -- they can't even play a simple game of "gotcha" without stepping on their dicks.

This is what the party of Lincoln has fallen to. Sad!

Philly Cheese Stank, Day 4: All In

Let's take a rare break from the usual "bitter cynic" character, and give credit where credit is due:  Hillary crushed it. Really. Good politicians are good salespeople at heart, and the candidate speech at a nominating convention is as high stakes as it gets when it comes to sales pitches.

And she made a very effective sales pitch that stands well on its own, but looks even better when stacked up against Ragey McPocalypse's hour-plus of screaming at his audience about the Mad Max charnel house outside the RNC arena. HFC also did that very effectively, used Drumpf's own crazed rhetoric and inexcusable self-regard to paint him as an unreliable goofball with the temperament of a dopey teenager whose mom has to pull the hardened masturbation socks out from under his bed and crack them before throwing them into the laundry.

Depending on how the media decide to frame the speech, and which money quotes they push, this could easily mark the point where people decide to vote for Hillary, rather than merely against Drumpfski and his Russian overseers. She emphasized her genuine working-class roots; her actual track record fighting for the disadvantaged, well before she or her husband got into politics; her support and advocacy for 9/11 victims, survivors, and first responders; the idea that America is a team, and that we should pull together. These also proved effective in establishing a positive, can-do contrast to Drumpf's Thunderdome boilerplate.

HFC's speech was really just the icing on what proved to be a solid lineup, including a four-star general surrounded by over three dozen veterans and officers, and the immigrant parents of Muslim Army Captain Humayun Khan, who died in 2005 when a suicide bomber attacked his post in Iraq. National defense became an issue in this evening's proceedings, culminating in Clinton's detailed proposal to defeat ISIS, as well as a blistering reproach of Drumpf's brazen claims that he knows more about ISIS than the generals.

By presenting adult solutions to Drumpf's childish goading, Clinton managed to build a solid, consistent case against someone who should have been laughed out of the room a full year ago. Drumpf's concern-trolling of the convention all week smacked of desperation, came off as pathetic more than anything. Let me ask you something on your cherry-picked AMA, asshole:  What the fuck is wrong with you? Seriously. I mean, the man has been a jerkoff for decades, but have you ever seen someone so pathetically needy? I've literally encountered crazy homeless guys on the sidewalk who have more fucking dignity than this phony-tough guy, who has probably never been in an actual fistfight.

Philly Cheese Stank, Day 3: Getting Traction

Some solid, powerful speeches tonight, especially from Tim Kaine and Barack Obama. Kaine's mocking of Drumpf's "believe me" schtick, as the calling card of the con-man, actually seemed more authentic because Kaine, while pleasant and smart enough, does not exactly pop off the screen. (Then again, charisma is obviously a highly subjective thing -- how people can watch or listen to toads like Gingrich or Drumpf for more than two seconds is beyond me.)

The boo-birds really need to start shutting the fuck up, like now. They may not realize that they'll be the first to hit the Clownstick re-education camps, but they will be. See, middle-aged white guys like me? I can pass easily. I've spent my life around these unrepentant goat-fuckers. I know the code. I'll hate it, but I'll get by just fine in a Clownstick presidency.

Concern Trollski Is Concerned

At what point have we all had enough of this lying cocksucker? I mean, seriously. This guy lies like most of us draw breath. Everything out of his mouth is a fucking lie, and as a topper, he invites the Russian FSB to continue hacking the email servers of American political figures.

Of course Putin likes Drumpf. Why wouldn't he? Not as a friend, mind you, but as a pigeon, someone whose bottomless hole of need and ego make him susceptible to even the lamest attempts at flattery. No, Donald, Putin never called you a genius -- you called you a genius.

Because that's what you are:  a whiny, lying, petulant man-baby, with tremendously small hands (the smallest hands, believe me, nobody's hands are smaller), small dick, and even smaller brain. Because you're a piece of shit who wants to wreck this country, and so Putin -- who actually is an intelligent adult -- sees in your pathetic psyche an easy opening to continue his espionage against this country. Good job, asshole. If we give you a pity trophy, will you just go the fuck away already? Everyone's a winner!

Maybe someone should hack Fuckface Von Clownstick's servers and release his fucking tax returns for him. In the meantime, fuck everyone who is continuing to support this lying, treasonous bastard.

Philly Cheese Stank, Day 2: Who Farted?

Cognitive dilemmas abound so far in Philly. You have the Bernie holdouts, resplendent in their anger, vowing to never vote for the she-creature. To listen to these people, you might almost be convinced that:

• There is no difference at all between HFC and the raving clown Drumpf.
• There are no other candidates at any other level running this year.

It's too bad Drumpf has poached the Stones' You Can't Always Get What You Want, because that song would be a little too on-the-nose for the last few hard-to-herd libs. Look, we get it, she's sub-optimal, not precisely what you wanted. The young holdouts have yet to learn that is exactly and always how politics works; the old hippies and Bernouts (see what I did there?) are past the point of caring anymore, as they only have a few election cycles remaining.

Now, when your own avatar, who also is past the age for selling out, grabs you by the lapels and says, "Look, motherfucker, this is how it is. Deal with it," then maybe it's time to listen. Your movement has revolved around one person, and one person only; you have failed to endorse or explain how anything will roll down to state or local levels. Who are they endorsing for Congress, for their state legislatures, etc.? No clues, but I don't even have to ask about the HFC side. Whatever else she is, she understands the whole picture, that being president doesn't matter if you're surrounded by a bunch of mouth-breathing teabaggers who refuse to work with you. Ask Hopey-Changey how that all worked out.

Philly Cheese Stank, Day 1: The Stankening

You'd think the horse-race media would at least shake up their own narrative, but that would give them too much credit. Just as last week's crapfest began with floor fighting among remaining holdouts, so the Dems' attempt at levity began with trying to tame the hostile Bernie bros. By the end of the night, things seemed to have calmed down, and by the end of the week the butt-hurt will be mostly forgotten, except with people who were probably never going to vote for HFC anyway, but look for it to be an underlying theme of commentary all week.

It was probably a good idea to get Warren and Sanders done on opening night, because despite both players' move toward comity, the fact is their central theses revolve around the theme of dire inequality and disparity. They are correct, of course, but such an argument comes directly at the expense of the structural integrity of the current and future leaders of the actual Democratic Party.

Freudian Slip

Okay, sorry to crack wise about what is clearly a tragedy, but the headline typo does point in the direction of the absurd:

Who knows? Maybe it was an angry elf.

Fool's Gold

One problem with sociologists and poli-sci wonks trying to explain various "phenomena" is that it lets idiots off the hook, absolves them for accepting responsibility for being gullible:

But Brendan Nyhan, professor in the department of government at Dartmouth College, says that expecting the average voter to walk around with a head full of statistics is unreasonable.

"I'm sympathetic to people who don't know the facts, I think they're being let down by the media and politicians," he says. "I don't expect people to follow the latest crime statistics.

"People are drawing what are unfortunately reasonable inferences from the information they're hearing and seeing which unfortunately exaggerates the prevalence of crime and crime statistics."

Well, that's on them, then, isn't it? I don't think anyone expects anyone outside the world of academics and professional statisticians to be instantly conversant with arcane numbers and esoteric data. The expectation is:  This person is running for the leadership of your country, and they presented this as fact. Is it true, is there an informational source that I can check on The Google in 60-90 seconds? It doesn't matter if Drumpf or HFC says it, it can and should be checked out. Jesus H. Christ, people, this is not that fucking difficult.

In the Garden of Unforced Errors

The ability of these people to fuck the proverbial dog at any given moment continues to astound. I don't think it will affect anything, just give the horse-race media something to yammer about during this week's convention. Still, whatever happened to "don't do stupid shit"? This is how you end up polling neck-and-neck against a cartoon character.

Our Man In Moscow

Some people say that Donald Drumpf is in the pocket of Vladimir Putin. I saw it on the internet, so it must be true. This was a website that, frankly, in many respects, should be very respected.

I also saw where Uday J. Drumpf, Junior protested that his Russian hacker friends -- I'm not going to say that they're in cahoots, but it's there on the internet, so, you know, very respected -- couldn't possibly be behind the coincidental release of internal Democratic National Committee documents. Besides, Uday says he doesn't know who G. Grigorievich Lidsky could possibly be, so that should settle it. Big league.

Don't Wet the Bed Just Yet

Michael Moore was on one of Bill Maher's post-convention episodes the other night, postulating that he thinks Drumpf will win. Moore has followed that up with a post on his website, enumerating five specific reasons, which I'd like to rebut point-by-point.

Moore is correct that Drumpf could win, of course -- there are just enough stupid people in this country, who have no use for facts, who vote out of spite and foolishness and ginned-up nonsense. Anything can happen, and usually does. But let's take a look at Moore's reasoning.

Occupying Force

Yet another cop who needs to do the right thing right now, resign his post and go to vocational school. There is no excuse for this. They're goddamned lucky that their bumbling didn't kill anyone.

Charles Kinsey, the caretaker who was shot while lying prostrate, should not have had to splay himself out in the roadway in the first place. He did nothing wrong. Maybe it was just two dudes sitting in the fucking road, are we drawing our guns right away for that now too? I hope he sues the fuck out of them.

The North Miami Police Department said it had received a 911 call of a man threatening to commit suicide with a gun pointed at his head. "At some point during the on-scene negotiation" with the two men, one of the officers fired, striking Kinsey, police said.

....

John Rivera, the president of the Dade County Police Benevolent Association, said Thursday afternoon that the officers "saw the white male almost on top of Mr. Kinsey, who had his hands up and who had his knees up, and to the officers, it looked like the white male was about to shoot Mr. Kinsey," Rivera said. "The officers all thought the individual had a firearm, not a toy truck."

Rivera said the officer "was trying to save the life of Mr. Kinsey and feels horrible that his aim missed and struck Mr. Kinsey."

This smells like an industrial fuckton of bush-league ass-covering. For starters, is this how they always respond to 911 suicide calls? Hopefully the media checks out the supposed call in question; chances are the facts won't jibe. Probably a completely different call.

And when the cops do arrive on the scene, ready for action, Kinsey flops on his back, arms up (something, incidentally, it wouldn't even occur to most white people to do, especially when you're just a caretaker trying to help your autistic patient), and explains the situation to the cops, and they still shoot -- and hit the "wrong" person. Way to defuse the fucking situation there, Deputy Fife.

Police in this country need to be retrained, top to bottom, front to back. I'm not getting into the "black lives" aspect of it at all; the problem here is that the level of force that used to be a last resort is now the first and only option. Don't bother assessing the scene an extra second, just react instantly, shoot to kill, and if you fuck up, THOUGHTS AND PRAYERS, YOU GUYS.

No other western country has law enforcement like this. Only banana republics have paramilitaries. This has to stop.

Go Duck Yourself

As I've said before, I watched Dork Dynasty once, just to see what the fuss was all about, and literally felt stupider by the end of the episode. I have no idea if the show is still airing -- and if it is, what sort of galoot is still watching it, and why. Whatever the case, Phil and Willie Robertson have parlayed their pop-culture notoriety into their avocation of injecting their regressive views into the political and religious arenas.

During the RNC last week, Willie Robertson found himself in the human centipede of D-listers, explaining as only a cosplay hillbilly millionaire could about how the "elites" don't know how to talk to "real people". That latter is one of the most tedious conceits imaginable -- that simply being working-class makes one more "real" or "legitimate". In many cases it does, but not always, and there is no shortage of supposedly regular people who are completely preposterous examples of humanity.

Willie Robertson and his family have made enormous sums of money exploiting the class anxieties of dopes and peons whose only respite is to convince themselves that smart people really aren't any smarter than anyone else, that study and expertise and analysis mean nothing, that Jebus is watching, even if he hasn't made them happy and wealthy and successful yet.

He Can't Help Himself

He's a fucking liar who lies about fucking everything. Sad!

Donald Trump boasted that the Republican National Convention hall was so “packed” during his prime time address that people were even selling convention tickets on eBay.

“Those seats were selling for a lot of money on eBay. They were going for big numbers,” he said on Friday morning.

But a POLITICO search of convention tickets sold on eBay, found that no tickets were actually sold.

What a sad, pathetic old man he is. Clearly the years of hair spray have soaked his cerebellum. Let's get Crazy Grampa the care he needs before he plows the family Buick through the wall of the supermarket. Probably should get him some diapers as well.

Violent Tendencies

Yes, the sooner these silly negroes understand that everyone really is treated equally, and that their "concerns" are simply the manufactured anxieties of the faggot librul media, the better of we'll all be.

Inspiration

Call it the Von Clownstick Effect:  perennial white-power candidate and convicted felon David Duke has thrown his hood in the ring one more blessed time, against eight other candidates in his own party. Keep up the good work, Loozyanna!

(Extra points for the WaPo photos of KKK scumbags from TN and MD in the first link. There are plenty just like them in LA, and they'll be voting for Duke. Fuck these doughy, pasty, drug-addled losers right in their loser blowholes. God hates you, fucktards. It literally brings me joy to know that most of these cocksuckers will die younger than they should, destitute and clueless as to how their dismal view of the world contributed to their miserable lives and early demises. I know, I'm mean.)

It would be surprising if Duke actually won, but stranger things have happened, obviously. Anything's possible. This quote is just money, though:

“I believe it’s time we start talking about the reality of terrorism linked to Black radicals,” Duke tweeted July 17 after the news broke about the police shootings in Baton Rouge. “How is this any different than ISIS?”

Now, your average meathead ofay Drumpf supporter reads that and goes, "Yeeaahhh!,"and then punches his wife for no reason. Anyone with two or more brain cells to rub together would flip the proverbial script and ask how at all it is similar to ISIS? I mean, you have to squint awful hard to find an equivalence between two black veterans, both of whom appear to have been either clinically insane or suffering from severe PTSD, going on shooting rampages against law enforcement officers, and a jihadi death cult run by de-Baathified officers from Saddam's old army, murdering anyone and anything that gets in their way.

But that's what makes them morons -- they don't squint at this shit, they don't think at all about any of it. Everything is visceral, reactive, lizard-brain. You want to know what makes the Drumpfkins tick, reread the above quote and consider the sort of mouth-breather that would nod their head at such nonsense. That's where we're at.

I don't know how the Dems reach out to such cretins; I don't want them to reach out to them. Fortunately they shouldn't have to. Clownstick has heightened the differences so that they should be clear as day. All the HFC show-runners have to do is mobilize the base and keep the unforced errors at zero. Start with forcing Drumpf to formally repudiate Duke.