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Saturday, February 17, 2007

Your Tax Dollars At Work

Well, looks like the debate over whether or not to have a debate has been, um, debated.

Republicans blocked the U.S. Senate on Saturday from considering a rebuke to President George W. Bush's Iraq troop buildup, but lawmakers vowed to continue waging a bitter struggle over war policy.

For the second time in two weeks, Republicans senators halted progress on a nonbinding resolution opposing Bush's recent decision to send 21,500 more troops to Iraq. The U.S. House of Representatives passed the resolution the day before.


Christ, what a cynical, soulless circle-jerk this whole thing is. They can't even talk about whether or not they should talk about it. That makes sense.

"The Senate is not done with this issue," he added. "The Senate will keep trying to force U.S. President George W. Bush to change course in Iraq."


Really? Is that a direct quote? Because if Harry Reid actually speaks like that, he'd better be intending some irony there, or I'm going to have to pimp-slap him.

Republican senators vowed to block all similar measures unless Democrats promise to also allow consideration of a proposal forbidding a cutoff of funds to U.S. troops.


Balls to the wall, or not at all. Either the Democrats realize that they will have to (rightly) justify defunding the extension of this clusterfuck, or they play into the Republicans' grimy, blood-stained hands. It really is that simple.

Britney Shears

Oh, snaaap!!1!1! Good one, Scotsman. Is it just me, or does this thing read like some "pre-bituary" they have stashed in case of plane crash or exposed-vagina incident?

Fears were mounting yesterday for the health of shamed pop princess Britney Spears after she appeared in public with a completely-shaved head.

Just five months after losing her husband and, some say, her career following a stream of highly-publicised drinking binges, the once wholesome singer was videoed removing her long tresses with shears at a California salon.

She then went to a tattoo parlour in the Sherman Oaks district of Los Angeles, wearing a hoodie over her new look. A crowd gathered outside to witness her get a new ink picture on her wrist.

Spears' new appearance emerged a day after reports that the millionaire entertainer had checked herself in to, then swiftly out of, a rehabilitation clinic in Antigua in the space of 48 hours.

Music industry insiders said they were concerned about the 25-year-old singer's wellbeing.

Alex Papasimakopolou, director of Scottish music management and promotions company Everymatic, said: "I've seen the images and it just looks horrible. I cannot believe that someone is not advising her on what to do.

"She just seems to go from one bad situation to the next at the moment. She's literally disintegrating in front of people's eyes and that's just very depressing to watch.

"She could just as easily be some young girl growing up in the UK who finds herself spiralling out of control - the difference is she's doing it in the full glare of the world's media.

"This is obviously a cry for something because she initially built her career on being a young, pretty, squeaky clean pop artist. More than ever, it seems, she needs a guiding hand to show her what to do next."


Ah, "fears were mounting". Where exactly might these "fears" be "mounting"? Well, for one, at Everymatic. I mean, if a Greek guy in Edinburgh looking at internets photos can't discern what's really going on in this impending celebritastrophe™, I'll eat this full plate of haggis.

Okay, I won't, not even on a bet after a bottle of Bushmill's, but you get the idea. I actually like the Scotsman's news coverage for the most part, but this is symptomatic of the progressively symbiotic nature of entertainment coverage and actual news. It's beneath them. Hell, it's beneath me.

Not that that's stopped me before. Or, sadly, the professionals.


[Photo via Go Fug Yourself and Oh No They Didn't!.]

Seriously, honey. Think small. Get some community college under your belt, learn to read something besides your own press releases. Resolve your man issues; explore the reasons why you had Irish twins by an unemployable white rapper. That sort of thing.

Really, I can't help but wonder about people who have more than enough money to walk away from the machine, at least for a while, and refuse to do so. I know, jerkoffs like me are feeding that machine, but damn, I almost feel bad about it sometimes.

Sunday, February 11, 2007

Suite: Rudy Blue Eyes

America's Mayor stops in my home state to preach to the choir. I thought it smelled funny here yesterday. I just assumed it was that breakfast burrito I had.

SACRAMENTO, Feb. 10 -- Rudolph W. Giuliani came west to learn whether his brand of Republican politics has a chance among party members significantly more conservative than himself. By the time he had received a fourth standing ovation Saturday at the California Republican Party convention, the answer seemed clear.

Equating the U.S. fight against terrorism with the Civil War and the Cold War, Giuliani told about 750 of his party's faithful that failure in Iraq would turn that country into a "massive headquarters for terrorism."


For those of you that may not know, while California is electorally more conservative than the rest of the country thinks (especially at the local level), the state Republic(an) party might as well meet in a phone booth. Schwarzenegger's not just their hood ornament, he's pretty much all they've got, and they're none too happy with his recent leftward feints, as he sets his course for Barbara Boxer's Senate seat next year.

But as far as being some sort of fundraising pool for national candidates, good luck with that. Giuliani would have been better off just taking Schwarzenegger to lunch and schmoozing him for his Rolodex. The CA GOP basically sells seeds door-to-door, which is why even Arnold spends most of his fundraising time in such California hot spots as New York and Florida.

But hey, whatever floats your boats, fellas. The Republican front-runners seem intent on hobbling themselves early on, by trying to cater to people who loathe them. McCain cozies up to the extra-chromosome Bob Jones crowd and turns into a contemptible little Chimpco butt-boy; Romney has to overcome the impression of Mormonism as a cult (which it is, in the sense that all religions are simply institutionalized cults; Mormonism at least values self-sufficiency and thrift as guiding principles, as opposed to molesting children and infesting backroom politics).

And Giuliani?


Let's see him explain that one (or this one) to the Liberty "University" knuckle-draggers.

Me, I couldn't care less, although I never found that Milton Berle cross-dressing shit funny in the first place. But once it leaks out of its proper environment -- which is to say, the Bohemian Grove -- you court trouble with the folks who need for their politicians' personal lives to be just as perfect and spotless as their own. And a guy who married his cousin, and lived with a gay couple during his second divorce, is going to set them off before they even see stuff like this:



No, Giuliani's social liberalism and fiscal conservatism are fine with normal people. What we have to watch out for with him is that he's an authoritarian, and a cronyist one at that. True, he acted like a responsible man on one of this nation's darkest days, while its putative national leaders shat their drawers, hunkered in the bunker or hopscotched the country, and all that. He deserves credit for that, but he's ridden that train about as far as it's going to take him. He's made some bucks doing the memoir and the corporate motivational rubber-chicken circuit.

But, you know -- Bernie Kerik. For starters. Even if you set the Kerik thing aside for the moment, Giuliani has no coherent policy reflective of reality. If anything, he shows a rather disturbing lockstep with what clearly hasn't worked.

Giuliani, 62, did not shy away from the controversial positions that have put him at loggerheads with some party faithful. He praised President Bush numerous times, at one point seemingly comparing him to Abraham Lincoln. In the news conference, Giuliani said the United States is "very, very fortunate" to have Bush as president, crediting his decision to consider preemptive strikes against potential enemies as "very, very brave."

"I believe that President Bush has a very, very strong place in history," Giuliani said.


I believe that is a very, very silly thing to say, completely unfounded in reality. I think this should very, very much be hung right around Giuliani's neck for the duration.

Unless by "fortunate" he meant "cursed", and by "brave" he meant "idiotic", and by "strong" he meant "wretched".

Giuliani is almost as notoriously thin-skinned as McCain, and it's only a matter of time before one or both of them gets Howard Dean-ed by the Serious Media. And then who've they got? The aforementioned Romney, whose personal Jeebus is not to the snake-handlers' liking. Sam (Ave Domino Maria) Brownback. I'm sure Alan Keyes and Gary Bauer will run again; it's not like they have anything else to do.

Who knows, maybe we'll get our wish at long last, and the spiteful goober bloc will just stay home for a change, and we can return responsible adults to leadership positions. Can cautious optimism at the prospect of internecine self-immolation be in the wind, or is that the whiff of last night's blast of White Diamonds from Uncle Milty Giuliani?

Saturday, February 10, 2007

Roadkill Grill

Not to interrupt the Serious news organizations' wall-to-wall celebritragedy coverage (apparently the entire nation is now a bunch of doddering, judgmental biddies looking for yet another soap opera to affirm their own projected anxieties), but I think that Doug Feith deserves at least as much attention.

It took far too long, but a report by the Pentagon inspector general has finally confirmed that Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld’s do-it-yourself intelligence office cooked up a link between Iraq and Al Qaeda to help justify an unjustifiable war.

The report said the team headed by Douglas Feith, under secretary of defense for policy, developed “alternative” assessments of intelligence on Iraq that contradicted the intelligence community and drew conclusions “that were not supported by the available intelligence.” Mr. Feith certainly knew the Central Intelligence Agency would cry foul, so he hid his findings from the C.I.A. Then Vice President Dick Cheney used them as proof of cloak-and-dagger meetings that never happened, long-term conspiracies between Saddam Hussein and Osama bin Laden that didn’t exist, and — most unforgivable — “possible Iraqi coordination” on the 9/11 attacks, which no serious intelligence analyst believed.

The inspector general did not recommend criminal charges against Mr. Feith because Mr. Rumsfeld or his deputy, Paul Wolfowitz, approved their subordinate’s “inappropriate” operations. The renegade intelligence buff said he was relieved.


So let's see if we have this straight -- it is essentially universally acknowledged at this point that Feith led a team whose implicit (possibly explicit, within the confines of its parent agency) mission was to find or contrive intel links that would support the Chimpco administration's fraudulent casus belli for invasion. And yet Feith is immune from accountability because his bosses signed off on it. And they are in turn immune from accountability because....well, I guess because such notions are as quaint and outdated as the Constitution.

Does it need to be said that that is not how intel gathering is supposed to work, that partisan information by definition is bullshit? Of course it needs to be said; people have become so addled and inured to the process that they welcome crap like "intelligent design" being dumped on their kids in science class. Why wouldn't they automatically assume that the Cheneyites had some sort of god-given right to present their own carefully cobbled "side" of the story?


The Dumbest Motherfucking Guy on the Face of the Planet prepares some hot, fresh intel to justify his bosses' fever dreams.

Top administration officials, especially Mr. Cheney, had long been furious at the C.I.A. for refusing to confirm the delusion about a grand Iraqi terrorist conspiracy, something the Republican right had nursed for years. Their frustration only grew after 9/11 and the C.I.A. still refused to buy these theories.

Mr. Wolfowitz would feverishly sketch out charts showing how this Iraqi knew that Iraqi, who was connected through six more degrees of separation to terrorist attacks, all the way back to the 1993 World Trade Center bombing.

But the C.I.A. kept saying there was no reliable intelligence about an Iraq-Qaeda link. So Mr. Feith was sent to review the reports and come back with the answers Mr. Cheney wanted. The inspector general’s report said Mr. Feith’ s team gave a September 2002 briefing at the White House on the alleged Iraq-Qaeda connection that had not been vetted by the intelligence community (the director of central intelligence was pointedly not told it was happening) and “was not fully supported by the available intelligence.”

The false information included a meeting in Prague in April 2001 between an Iraqi official and Mohamed Atta, one of the 9/11 pilots. It never happened. But Mr. Feith’s report said it did, and Mr. Cheney will still not admit that the story is false.


The continued existence of Richard Bruce Cheney is merely proof that the Flying Spaghetti Monster has an irretrievably warped sense of humor. As the saying goes, the evil that he's done will live on long after he's gone. He should be proud of himself, of the carnage he's willfully brought down on a lot of innocent people. What a good Christian man he is; do unto others and all that.


What White House intel analyst would be taken seriously without his Official Cooking Ensemble? Be just like your favorite administration official/rightard blogger -- get yours today!

In a statement released yesterday, Senator Carl Levin, the new chairman of the Senate Armed Services Committee, who has been dogged in pursuit of the truth about the Iraqi intelligence, noted that the cooked-up Feith briefing had been leaked to the conservative Weekly Standard magazine so Mr. Cheney could quote it as the “best source” of information about the supposed Iraq-Qaeda link.

The Pentagon report is one step in a long-delayed effort to figure out how the intelligence on Iraq was so badly twisted — and by whom. That work should have been finished before the 2004 elections, and it would have been if Pat Roberts, the obedient Republican who ran the Senate Intelligence Committee, had not helped the White House drag it out and load it in ways that would obscure the truth.


Truth, schmuth. Seriously, Pat Roberts' obstructionist behavior in all this has been unconscionable and unacceptable, and I assume that Levin and the rest of them are ready to crawl up this motherfucker's scroungy ass with a microscope. Roberts needs to go down with the rest of this ship of fools.


The latest intel regarding Iran, ready for popular consumption.

Friday, February 09, 2007

Newsweak

Anna Nicole Smith is still dead. So are fourteen American soldiers, over the past few days. Good to see our media still has their priorities straight.

Are we getting the media we deserve, or are we just not vocalizing our discontent with this in the correct fashion?

Thursday, February 08, 2007

Credibility Dodge

Is Pantload really that stupid, or merely shameless and disingenuous? I know we ask this question pretty much every time we encounter this jerkoff, and default on the notion that no one could actually be as stupid as he comes across, and be able to tie their shoes, or even remember to breathe. So he must just be breathtakingly cynical, right?

Just in case you were interested, there's a whole email spam campaign going around the web about that Juan Cole non-bet from two years ago. I discussed it here and here, and have nothing substantive to add. But the vitriol and bullying of this crowd is something to behold. It's now become something of a little media story and since the other side knows all about it (and is now badgering folks who carry my column, etc), it seems silly to keep you folks in the dark. Here's the E&P write up.


Definitely read his links to his own defenses -- the guy seems to seriously think this is about whether or not he should pay off Juan Cole, and since Cole "sanctimoniously" declined (as Goldbleg himself excerpted, Cole simply didn't want to be part of some racetrack bet on people's lives with an unprincipled goon such as Pantload) to accept the "wager".

Someone spell out for this fuckin' clown that no one really cares whether he "honors" the "wager" or not. The original point of the Cole/Goldbleg dust-up was -- and it's been proven absolutely correct, over and over again -- that Jonah is a sniveling little douche who doesn't know what he's blathering about. And because he's a legacy simp, there's even less accountability than if he were, say, Joe Klein.

So save your money, DoughBob LoadPants. Nobody really expects you to pony up a grand to the USO in Cole's name. We're just trying to figure out what exactly it is you are being paid to do, and why anyone should bother to read your addled-chimp-with-dartboard record of prognostication.

{Update: Very cool. Big thanks to Tom in comments for the portrait of the fartist as a young pantload.]



And welcome folks from The Poor Man and Eschaton. Please do not be put off by the gratuitous references to Britney Spears' pooter and the like. Or be put off; it's all good.

Britney Spears' Pussy (Now With Lesbian Orgies)

Ah, the things we must sometimes cover to generate a decent rate on the old hit counter. At least it's a topic that actually makes me ask the eternal question: can I watch?

Kevin Federline's friend, rap music producer Omar 'Iceman' Sharif, claims Britney Spears is into lesbian orgies and porn, in an interview to In Touch Weekly magazine. He said: "Britney was into threesomes and girls. There was tons of porn in the house - but it was mostly Britney's."

Omar also claims Britney would host X-rated parties at her Malibu marital home. He said: "They were friends of her who she would invite to her house and they would drink and party. They had their hands all over each other."

Another source said: "Sometimes it was three girls, and sometimes there were more like six. I heard about her being with girls at least 20 times while they were married."


If you can't trust K-Fed's wingman/cardboard-house-procurer "Iceman", yo, who can you trust, knaamsayin'? Still, you know, maybe an appearance in the next edition of the venerable Where the Boys Aren't series could be just the, uh, comeback strategy.

[And yeah, while we're yucking it up over Britney's peckerdilloes, the death this afternoon of Anna Nicole Smith is a tragic reminder of how far these things can go. It is a sad demise, made even worse both by the fact that she leaves an infant daughter, and by how unsurprising the news really was. She will probably be presumed another casualty of the fuck-'em-and-chuck-'em sex industry, but the fact is that she appeared to be a very unhappy person, who was understandably unable to move on with life after the untimely death of her son. Richard Roeper has an interesting retrospective.]

Wednesday, February 07, 2007

Top Ten Lisa Nowak Excuses

10. Diaper rash can have unpredictable results.

9. Certificate from Ryan O'Neal School of Anger Management not paying off as advertised.

8. Wanted to provide half-assed bloggers with lame excuse to boost hits with cheap, opportunistic top ten lists.

7. Space dementia, as far as the defense lawyer is concerned.

6. Trying to impress Jodie Foster, but would settle for Rex Grossman.

5. Felt that Girls Gone Wild series does not show the entire spectrum of potential wildness some girls are capable of.

4. Three simple words: Red Bull Tang, NASA's secret rocket fuel.

3. Angry that Pumpkinhead Russert had discussed her with Libby, as described in that thing about the aspens turning in clusters. The whole Plame/Judy F. Miller thing is just a ruse, man.

2. Actually an Iranian agent attempting to disrupt American way of life, thus providing casus belli to nuke Tehran.

1. Give the media yet another excuse to ignore actual news stories.

Tuesday, February 06, 2007

Secrets And Lies

I agree that Shattered Glass is an underrated, understated movie with larger, currently relevant implications. It's easy and obvious enough to dismiss it because of its resolute inside-baseball tone, but its import is at least as apparent, if not quite as titillating as whatever torture-porn flick is infesting the googolplex this week.

I can see why media weasels might not like such a movie -- not that it's suggesting that all ambitious reporters are by nature fabulists à la Stephen Glass or Jayson Blair, but that they are simply ambitious, a trait familiar to most walks of life, and thus more readily accessible. It is the endemic insularity of that seriously compromised profession, cobbled together with repeated daydreams of I.F. Stone and Mary Tyler Moore apparently, that render them both inured and yet defensive to even those fairly mild charges. They tend to be ambitious, and that ambition can at times turn them into situational ethicists, bypassing specific facts in pursuit of greater truths, or more commonly, ignoring important stories for sensationalized nonsense. This is fairly universally applicable; what makes it different here is influential nature of the profession.

But forget the speculative fabulism. What about the easily outlined lack of accountability from people who are still, after being proven wrong over and over again, after being exposed repeatedly for their cheap and convenient preening, asked for their opinions as if they still mattered? It is not Choke Line's refusal to simply acknowledge what we all know and move on accordingly that makes him a mediocre thinker; it is his obstinate insistence on having it both ways, and steadfastly overlooking what he's supposedly learned over the past four years, to apply to what he knows now, to help make him a better prognostimacator and Big Opinion Guy.

It's a sordid little symbiosis at work here, the industry of manufacturing and disseminating Serious Opinion, and its conjoined twin of manufacturing Serious Policy. The latter involves one recently fallen political party continuing its strategy of posturing and baiting the other party, even from a current position of weakness, and the other party continuing to look sheepish and ineffective, lest assclowns like Klein deem them "weak" or "unpatriotic".

The former entity, the punditocracy, operates much the same way, with puling milquetoasts such as Klein constantly falling all over themselves trying to look tough by berating imaginary boogeymen on "the left", while tossing random pro forma discontents at how the actual policymakers have actually done their actual jobs up to this point in time.

After a consistent pattern of this behavior, one can only assume that simply stepping up and saying, "Look, I fucked up, I believed Colin Powell when I shouldn't have, but one thing that has become abundantly clear over the last four years is that these people are psychotic authoritarians" might cost them their Serious Column, or their upcoming appearance on one of the Serious Chat Shows, where everyone whips out their tiny cock-like appendages and talks about how Serious they really are. Seriously.

Klein makes his real shortcomings all the more clear with each new attempt at muddying the discourse. There's no turning back for him at this point, and his puny little arms are certainly not going to span the widening river of diverging opinion, so he may want to consider just choosing a side once and for all. Either he believes in the proferred policy options or he doesn't; either he believes these people are sane and competent or he doesn't. There's not a lot of middle ground anymore.

I understand why Klein and his sniveling, toadying ilk continue to try to scavenge one more Friedman, but I don't understand why they are taken seriously, while people who actually take the notion of a free press seriously do time. Perhaps a little time, in the unemployment line if not in prison, might help Klein and his buddies re-evaluate their misplaced priorities.

Sunday, February 04, 2007

The Man From Hopeless, Part 2: This Gland Is Your Gland

I'd like to further contextualize (warning: gratuitous use of fitty-cint words) my little ode to despair from the other day, by observing that dynamic through two long-term prisms facing us (the U.S. and the world at large), geopolitical and environmental.

The geopolitical case is more within the power of humans to resolve sanely and humanely, which of course means it probably won't happen that way. Months ago I did an extended post on what I believe to be the (somewhat) falsely proposed dichotomy of the multipolar versus unipolar (U.S.-dominated) world of the near future. I believe that economically, technologically, and militarily, the ascendancy of enormous powers such as China and India will necessitate a refocusing toward realistic multipolarity by 2020 or sooner.

But the practical reality of that scenario will also have to take into account other rising secondary powers (Russia, Iran, Brazil) who, while not nearly as influential, can cause specific impacts on various trends, especially at the regional level. Add in the trend of the aforementioned "untied states", and you have a multiplication of what could be called "event drivers", since it is the unforeseen events, by definition, which have the greatest adverse impact on predicted trends. Technology and decentralization gives smaller groups with more disparate loyalties and agendas more leveraged degrees of power, and hence greater ability to drive previously unforeseen events. This means not only high-casualty terrorist attacks such as 9/11 or Beslan, but also small to medium scale socioeconomic trends, particularly in more ignored (except for marginal resource-extraction capacities) areas.

These are people who are almost exclusively operating from the standpoint of despair, rather than hope, regardless of their specific agenda or actions. They are channeling that despair into action, albeit all-too-frequently violent, counterproductive action. This is not so much a lesson to be drawn, as an observation to be made. It is there all the same, and whatever external forces act upon these areas make decisions, whether deliberate or accidental, on which directions their imposed external impacts push these areas.

The oversimplified phrase, oft used to describe Palestine's woes, is that we decide whether to stop the violence by giving them hope in their lives, so that they no longer simply act from pure despair, or continue to impose punitive actions upon them, in the hopes that they will finally internalize whatever message generational refugee ghettos and intrusive policies are supposed to communicate.

Perhaps the current nation-state paradigm is irretrievably debauched and corrupted, because of the meta-cynicism on all levels -- politicians know that we think they're all crooks to begin with, and we know that they know, and so on, so the most effective mode for rounding up votes becomes appealing overtly to the limbic voter demographic, which has worked out just superbly.

Whether this culminates in the remaining majority getting on the same page and keeping the limbics down, or the great powers continuing to devolve into cliques of feudal entities, the rich ones corporatist, and the poor ones tribalist, is probably a question for our great-grandchildren to deal with. It's still worth being aware of, as a potential problem for future stability and progress.

An interesting and informative report which speculates in more detail many of these impact agents, large and small, is the Global Trends 2020 report from the National Intelligence Council, available here. The most troublesome trends appear to be energy consumption and demographics; currently dominant powers such as the U.S., Europe, Japan, and China all face rapidly-aging populations in the near future, which in all cases will likely necessitate further importation of labor (or worse, exportation of manufacturing), thus heightening already critical tensions in many areas.

Russia's rather drastic demographic future (low life expectancy, low birth rate, and high emigration rate combine for population decline in the near future) and increasingly authoritarian political structure make it something of a wild card. I have seen some speculation as to a future Russo-Iranian commercial alliance of sorts, and it makes a lot of sense for both of those countries. The "wild card" part is whether such an alliance becomes enhanced militarily, which, considering the available options of both countries, is not all that unlikely.

Europe's need to keep its high GDP (its market viability and manufacturing capability is a huge part of non-military world GDP), combined with its own aging population and low birth rates, puts it in a bad spot as well. They will have to both expand the EU further east, absorbing more and more former soviet economic basket cases, and import more cheap labor from North Africa. If they're not serious about accepting and assimilating these newcomers, nobody will be happy with the arrangement. Preventing economic marginalization is going to be the key to avoiding the problems, the negative outbursts of despair we've been seeing.

That self-sufficient countries such as Switzerland and Norway continue to hold out against joining an increasingly federalized EU also seems to be a sign of how things will continue to develop there. Switzerland can probably hold out indefinitely if it's economically advantageous, but as Norway's North Sea oil and fishing stocks continue to be depleted, that country's outlook may change.

It's a long report, with many items worthy of excerpt, but you get the idea. The main thing is that the era of true unipolarity is already over, even if it is something of a lagging indicator. So the goal then becomes to harness ascendant powers into some sort of multipolar cooperative effort (not the micromanaged flailings of the UN), so that disassociated impact groups do not further devolve things into a non-polar world, essentially divided merely between have-nots and have-mores.

Which brings us to the second major trend of future despair, on what appears to be an increasingly cataclysmic scale -- the environment. While we've been dithering about whether global warming is "real" or not, as if it needs the official validation of one species to become so, the warming trend has been gathering momentum.

The report says that for the next two decades a warming of about 0.2C per decade is predicted. It says that even if CO2 emissions had been halted completely in 2000, the world would still be committed to a rise of about 0.6C, because of the time the climate system takes to react. The report offers a series of projections of future temperature increases, based on six different scenarios of global human, and in particular, industrial activity, and consequent emissions of CO2 from cars and power stations.

The best estimate for the low scenario, known as B1, is a 1.8C rise (on a range of 1.1C to 2.9C) and the best estimate for the high scenario (known as A1FI) is 4C, with a lower range limit of 2.4C, and the upper range limit of 6.4C - up susbtantially from the worst-case figure of 5.8C given in the IPCC Third Assessment Report, known as the TAR, published in 2001. As we report elsewhere, a 6C-plus rise would represent a true nightmare for the world.

What has informed these new projections is the increase over the past six years in knowledge of climate "feedback" mechanisms - by which a warming world becomes less able to absorb CO2, which further increases the warming, which further slows the CO2 uptake, and so on. The report says: "The new assessment of the likely ranges now relies on a larger number of climate models of increasing complexity and realism, as well as new information regarding the nature of feedbacks from the carbon cycle."


Anybody purporting to be remotely serious about the subject has long moved on from questions of verification, and on to goals of mitigation and minimizing impact. So it is essential to put the Jim Inhofes in the debate back out on the far margins, where they belong. They are simply clogging up the process, sucking away the ability of responsible adults to deal with this problem before it results in more Katrinas.

It may be too late, anyway, whether it's a weather phenomenon or a terrorist attack; I think the recent AquaTeen Hunger Force fiasco, in which seditious cartoon advertisements went unnoticed for ten days before they were suddenly perceived to be a terrorist plot, amply demonstrates the adipose tissue in any first-response bureaucracy. Prevention is more effective than treatment after the fact by at least an order of magnitude.

This problem has to be dealt with on many levels, obviously, not the least of which is economic. Sustainability and regional growth has to become at least as important as consumption and comparative advantage. A significant chunk of both petroleum usage and carbon emissions is the transportation of food; an average of 1500 miles via long-haul trucking cannot have anything but a profoundly negative impact. Removing this from the equation requires serious rethinking of the current hub-and-spoke distribution chain, of sustaining regional and seasonal producers, as well as the many thousands of food-service businesses impacted by such changes.

The more difficult systemic change to incorporate will, of course, be traveling, commuting. This will be a profoundly hard nut to crack, particularly in America, especially in California, where we have grown up with an enormous freeway system that caters to us, encourages us to drive, makes it practically impossible not to in many areas. But raising CAFE standards, imposing real and painful gas-guzzler taxes, and implementing the aforementioned changes in the food-distribution system are steps in the right direction, and will have a significant impact in the aggregate. Repairing and re-subsidizing the rail system, urban and national, as Jim Kunstler has long advocated, would also go a long way toward such a goal.

What doesn't get discussed nearly often enough, when talking about gas-guzzling shitboxes is their externalities, the space they require to maneuver, to park, the impact they have on things like fuel prices and availability, and emissions, in the aggregate. With the world economy, international geopolitics, and the physical well-being of the planet and its species almost completely pivoting on energy consumption rates, it is amazingly stupid and short-sighted to continue in this direction.

There is no longer any serious question about whether these things will have to be done; it's just a matter of whether we can nip this scenario in the bud:

Clues as to how the world looks in a long-term extreme greenhouse state also come from the Cretaceous period, 144 to 65 million years ago, when there was no ice on either pole and much of Europe and North America was flooded by the higher seas. Tropical crocodiles swam in the Canadian high Arctic, whilst breadfruit trees grew in Greenland. The oceans were incredibly hot: in the tropical Atlantic they may have reached 42C, whilst at the North Pole itself, the oceans were as warm as the Mediterranean is today. The tropics and sub-tropics were so hot that no forests grew, and desert belts probably extended into the heart of modern-day Europe.

During the Cretaceous, of course, species evolved over millions of years to be able to survive on a much hotter planet. Nowadays very few species could survive such a sudden transition. Cold-adapted species like polar bears would obviously be an early casualty, and coral reefs will also disappear from the tropics. The Met Office's Hadley Centre has predicted that the Amazonian rainforest could start to burn as early as 2050, gradually transforming towards desert as temperatures soar in the interior of South America. Ash and smoke would blanket much of the southern hemisphere, and nearly half of the world's terrestrial biodiversity would be wiped out at a stroke.

How people might fare is anyone's guess. With the tropics too hot to grow crops, and the sub-tropics too dry, billions of people would find themselves in areas of the planet which are essentially uninhabitable. This would probably even include southern Europe, as the Sahara desert crosses the Mediterranean. As the ice-caps melt, hundreds of millions will also be forced to move inland due to rapidly-rising seas. As world food supplies crash, the higher mid-latitude and sub-polar regions would become fiercely-contested refuges. The British Isles, indeed, might become one of the most desirable pieces of real estate on the planet. But with a couple of billion people knocking on our door, things might quickly turn rather ugly.


This is where our new friend despair (the kind produced by awareness, not the kind culminating in senseless violence) comes back into the picture. This is where it becomes a truly existential crisis, of whether it's worth it for us to drive smaller cars and pay a little more for better food, if it gives us a chance in the aggregate to leave our kids a better situation.

It means seeing things for what they are, rather than what we've been conditioned to see them as. And it means telling some people to fuck off and die; it means telling lucky-sperm parasites like Paris Hilton and George Bush to start earning their keep like the rest of us. It means repudiating jerk-off photo-ops as mindless exercises in kabuki that do nothing to advance anything useful, but only serve to perpetuate a one-party system with two right wings.

Hope is audacious, as the Reverend Obama has instructed us, but so is despair, so is anger, directed constructively. But it requires a serious rethinking of things, an understanding that the world cannot continue to be run from ego and id and glandular exploits masquerading as "news" and "information", not with technology so heavily leveraging our immediate impact on all of our political, economic, and social structures. It matters more, and it matters faster, faster sometimes than our collective ability to keep up with it.

Super Bowl Prediction

You knew it was coming. Given my atrocious track record of predicting the divisionals and conference championships this season, the only reason I'm giving this one a shot is because I think the Bears will sneak up on the Colts and actually win this one. Here's why, with a brief comparison by position:
  • Quarterback -- On paper, it's not even close, all-world darling Peyton Manning versus the oft-maligned Rex Grossman. The line on Grossman is that he's easy to fluster, too short, weak arm, blah blah blah. I'm still not convinced he's not all those things, but against a New Orleans team that was very solid on both sides of the ball, Grossman made some excellent halftime adjustments, and started picking apart Saints cornerback Fred Thomas, turning him around, exposing his coverage weaknesses, threading beautiful passes in, through, over, and around him. I think Grossman is somewhat underrated, in that his team still seems to believe in him, and he's not letting the naysayers get in his head. He may never be a great quarterback, but he doesn't have to be -- he just has to be good enough to win, and he seems to have that Kenny Stabler-like quality.

    Manning, on the other hand, has not performed up to his usual capabilities in this postseason, getting picked off six times in the first two games (and there were two more easy picks in the Ravens game that were inadvertently smacked away by Ray Lewis). Manning's biggest ace card has been his pre-play hand-jive (70% of which is fake anyway), used to confound defenses. But Bill Parcells, of all people, figured out how to beat that one to hand the Colts their first regular-season loss this year, and most of the teams they've played since then have done the same. Look for the Bears defense to wait until as late as possible on the play clock to set up, to take away Manning's time to audible formations.

    Against the Patriots, Manning did open the third quarter with a masterful quick-huddle drive that ate up half the quarter, and exhausted the Pats' front seven by not allowing them to rotate players between plays. (It didn't hurt that the heat was cranked up in the RCA Dome, which dehydrated and cramped the jet-lagged, flu-ridden Patriots. They won't have that little trick to play today.) It made a real difference in the final quarter. I don't think Chicago will fall for this; their defense is younger, stronger, and quicker, and led the league in takeaways for a reason.

    Slight advantage: Colts


  • Running backs -- Both teams deploy tandem RB lineups, which is standard for teams without a superstar back. Of the four total starting RBs, the Colts' Joseph Addai is the real standout, but they're all pretty evenly matched.

    Slight advantage: Colts


  • Receivers -- These teams are more evenly matched at WR than has generally been reported. Marvin Harrison gets all the props for his quiet competence and workmanlike performance, but Muhsin Muhammad, while also being sure-handed, is one of the best blocking receivers in the NFL. Count on him to handle Indy's smaller DBs, either running picks to open up lanes for speedster Bernard Berrian, or turning the DBs around to pick up short but necessary possession gains himself. Colts speed man Reggie Wayne will require double coverage most of the day, but can probably be contained. Chicago's secondary is not great, but still pretty good.

    Advantage: Even


  • Offensive line -- The Colts have one of the better o-lines in the league. Center Jeff Saturday may be the best at his position playing right now, and left tackle Tarik Glenn has been key to Manning's success. The Bears' o-line is good, particularly center Olin Kreutz, but the Colts' is significantly better. The Bears' excellent front seven will make them work today, but an extended no-huddle drive could take away much of their playmaking ability.

    Advantage: Colts


  • Defense -- The Colts' D gave up way too many rushing yards during the regular season, but have improved when it really counts, in the playoffs. Their front seven is good, but they will give up yards, and their secondary runs a Cover 2 scheme not terribly unlike the one New Orleans has, which Grossman was able to pick apart at the perfect time in the game to start running away with the lead. Colts safety Bob Sanders is the X factor on this defense, and an excellent run-stopper, but is fighting knee problems, and once Grossman figures out how to bring him up, split the coverage, and burn him deep, the Bears will get a score or two while the Colts try to adjust.

    The Bears defense needs little explanation: league lead in takeaways; specializing in forcing fumbles and stripping the ball; probably the best linebacking tandem in the league with Brian Urlacher and Lance Briggs. As long as they're patient, and don't give Manning undeserved openings, they will keep the Bears in the game.

    Advantage: Bears


  • Special teams -- Devin Hester terrorized other teams for the first half of the season with his breakaway return ability, but has been largely contained, and muffed a few lately. If he pulls it together, he could be the difference in the end. The Colts' return man, Terrence Wilkins, is also a threat, but not to the degree that Hester is, and Chicago's special teams coverage has been excellent. It may come down to clutch kicker Adam Vinatieri, but Bears' kicker Robbie Gould has been excellent as well.

    Advantage: Bears

Ordinarily, given the AFC's dominance of recent years, and Manning's superior track record, I'd be inclined to go with the flow and pick Indianapolis. Manning's numbers and his reputation for intense preparation almost demand it. But they have not truly dominated any team in months, really, and have squeaked their way through the playoffs. Without New England's inexplicable luck in San Diego, and their equally inexplicable clock management toward the end in Indy, the Colts would have been home already. Even the Ravens should have beaten them, giving Manning's flustered, chaotic performance in Baltimore.

Chicago, on the other hand, recovered nicely after letting the crummy Seahawks hang around too long in the divisional game; they pounded New Orleans' outstanding offense and chipped away at their defense, and came away with an overwhelming victory, gaining strength as the game progressed. They are riding more momentum; they have a better defense; and in one of the NFL's more peculiar jinxes, a dome team still has yet to win a Super Bowl. It'll be close, but I think that jinx will hold.

Final score: Bears 24, Colts 20.

[Update/post-mortem: Feh. Fucking Bears decided to hibernate this time around. Maybe Grossman sucks after all, and maybe someone should explain to Nathan Vasher that tackling is just as important as coverage. And geez, it's great to know God had a vested interest in a football game. Has He nothing at all better to do?]

One-Two Punch

Check out PZ Myers' twin smackdowns from this past week, first of schmientist Scott Adams (yes, the guy who draws Dilbert), and a more generalized update of the intellectual criminals who keep trying to gum up the works with their proprietary brand of nonsense (which is apparently "better" than all the other available brands for the same reason my favorite brand of beer is better than your favorite brand of beer). Great stuff.

Socks And Violence

Looks like former Fredo's Folly architect and current head of the World Bank (and noted comb-licker) Paul Wolfowitz is taking sock tips from some guy who lives in a cardboard box. I'm afraid to speculate on the hole-to-skidmark ratio in his bikini briefs (shudder).



Thanks to Marius in comments for the tip and the link.

Saturday, February 03, 2007

Winning The War

Here's the latest from Junior's Folly -- which, remember, his latest cockamamie scheme to win this will work because he says it has to:

BAGHDAD, Iraq - A suicide truck bomber struck a market in a predominantly Shiite area of Baghdad on Saturday, killing at least 82 people among the crowd buying food for evening meals, police and hospital officials said.

The attacker was driving a truck carrying food when he detonated his explosives, destroying stores and stalls that had been set up in the busy outdoor Sadriyah market, police said.

The late-afternoon explosion was the latest in a series of attacks against commercial targets in the capital as insurgents seek to maximize the number of people killed ahead of a planned U.S.-Iraqi security sweep. Officials said at least 82 people were killed and 152 wounded.

In the northern city of Kirkuk, eight bombs exploded within two hours, beginning with a suicide car bomber who targeted the offices of the Kurdish Democratic Party of Massoud Barzani, leader of Iraq's autonomous Kurdish region, police said. Two people were killed in the first explosion, which devastated four nearby houses.

Nobody claimed responsibility for the attacks in the oil-rich region, but concerns have been raised that insurgents have fled north to avoid the impending crackdown in Baghdad.


Yeah, there's just no way this can't work out swimmingly, while the esteemed legislators work out competing "No, you're the bigger pussy" non-binding resolutions. Feel the successmanship!

In other news some turd burglar made a fucking fool of himself, and naturally got paid. I think we'd be hard-pressed to find a more egregiously direct exercise of pure, wanton gluttony and excess, conjoined with mindless jingoistic grunting. Hey, at least the little Japanese hot-dog weirdo didn't win, right?

Friday, February 02, 2007

The Man From Hopeless

I think Jeff Wells may be on to something.

I don't regard it as excessive to believe we've reached the end, regardless of the end having been anticipated since the beginning. It's unlikely that the sky will roll up like parchment one day and that will be that. We'll probably go on living well beyond the end, marking each incremental degradation as the New Normal, and with the dust of death settled on every sweet thing. (In other words, less The Omega Man, more Children of Men.)

And perhaps, if hopelessness is where this story ends, it's where we can begin to write another.


That may be the most appropriate phrase for it, "incremental degradation", the more concretely realized iteration of the proverbial slow-boiling frog. The frog, as they say, does not comprehend the increasing heat of the water until it's too late; we, on the other hand, constantly review our options and priorities, and revise just how much we are still willing to put up with.

The politics of hope is a nice idea, but as Wells says, it may still be the wrong idea. Even people who loathe the various corruptions and mendacities of the Cheney administration, the blustery mediocrities rigging the game and jiggering the terms of debate with cheap semiotic tricks, still hope that in the end, at worst, these men are merely decent fools, well-meaning idiots engaged in a horrific exercise of violent futility.

Maybe approaching this from the standpoint of despair, rather than being demoralizing and demotivating, brings with it the empowerment of clarity, of demonstrating their fundamental indecency, of casting their schemes and tactics into more stark profile, one that demands more than mere hope.

I'm being polemic here, but not as much as one might hope, because while I won't pretend to have full insight into the totality of what these people want, I believe that they have made it abundantly clear that they are intent on getting it, regardless of the consequences. And placing one's feeble hope in the notion that some heroic Democratic politician will ride in and save the day, when they can't even muster the nerve to put the liars and defamers out of business (or at least give them a well-deserved smackdown), seems too small an expense.

Rather than simply giving up, which is what many seem to have done while doing their little hope dance, reacting from the perspective of despair could mean giving more, of understanding that there is no deus ex machina. This is it, and either we stand tall against going deeper into the big muddy, or we hoist up the hip waders and trudge further, head down, hoping someone comes along to do it for us.

It's almost impossible to know just where to start, but really, I think the key is holding the enablers in the media accountable for their (in)actions, and making sure that the ones who are actually doing their jobs seriously and honestly get the most attention. It doesn't seem like too much to ask for, to have the opinion-makers and self-important pundits have to back up the things they say.

Booty Stall

Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be happy. -- H.L. Mencken

One expects a certain amount of hoo-ha over the showers at Yale being used from time to time for something other than showering.

Even more reliable is the harrumphing concern trolls of the conservatard club:

Dan Gelernter, class of 2009, is co-editor of Critical Mass, aimed at "collegiate conservatives," and called the episode "a new chapter in the story of Yale's continuing descent into the depths of moral degradation."

"It is not merely unfortunate, but pathetic and disgusting that the Master needed to send such a note to us... but in the moral vacuum that has been created by Yale intellectuals, students seem to be left without even the most basic guidelines for proper and decent behavior," Gelernter wrote.


I suppose they need some sort of release; if it weren't for reading the apocalypse into every instance of illicit sex and moral decadence, they'd have to go out and find their own action.

Thursday, February 01, 2007

The Lyin' Sleeps Tonight

One thing every bar-hopper knows is how to be attuned to a bullshit artist. Too bad all the "like ta have a beer with 'im" goobers who pulled the lever for Fredo had their spidey sense turned off.

Nicely done, folks. Tell the rest of us again why we should believe anything that emanates from the cakeholes of this administration. Barring video of Mahmoud Ahmadinejad strolling around Chicago with a bandolier of suitcase nukes, I don't trust a fucking word coming from these people. Clearly there is nothing they won't say or do to get what they want.

Bros Before Hos

I know we're not supposed to care about the sex lives of politicians, and I actually think Gavin Newsom has made a decent effort in San Francisco, but the kind of guy who fucks his best friend's wife is a whole 'nother matter.

San Francisco Mayor Gavin Newsom's re-election campaign manager resigned Wednesday after confronting the mayor about an affair Newsom had with his wife while she worked in the mayor's office, City Hall sources said.

Alex Tourk, 39, who served as Newsom's deputy chief of staff before becoming his campaign manager in September, confronted the mayor after his wife, Ruby Rippey-Tourk, told him of the affair as part of a rehabilitation program she had been undergoing for substance abuse, said the sources, who had direct knowledge of Wednesday's meeting.

Rippey-Tourk, 34, was the mayor's appointments secretary from the start of his administration in 2004 until last spring. She told her husband that the affair with Newsom was short-lived and happened about a year and a half ago, while the mayor was undergoing a divorce from his then-wife, Fox News host Kimberly Guilfoyle, said the sources, who spoke on condition they not be identified.


It's just classy with a capital "K", is all. And, you know, from what little I know third-hand of the "making amends" step, I believe that doing no harm in the process of fulfilling that step is paramount. I could be wrong, but this whole damned story is wrong.

The Bravery Of Being Out Of Range

From the "no shit, Sherlock" file:

Israel may have violated agreements with Washington on the use of US-made cluster bombs in its war with Hizbullah in Lebanon last summer, the state department said today.

The Bush administration must now decide what action, if any, to take against Israel for its use of the weapons against towns and villages from which Hizbullah fighters fired rockets.


Right. I'm guessing the chances of that are somewhere between stupid and none, much like its figurehead, he of attacking reporters with a D-10 bulldozer. (Clue to reporters: what if Mister Man gave a photo-op and none of you showed up? Think about it.)

Anyway, as the article points out, Israel makes its own cluster munitions, so any American show of disapproval would be mostly symbolic, kinda like pretending to worship a deity who apparently hates people.

The Israelis' response to this is predictable:

"The IDF [Israel Defence Force] does not deliberately attack civilians, and takes steps to minimise any incidental collateral harm by warning them in advance of an action, even at the expense of losing the element of surprise," the Israeli foreign ministry said last summer.

Nevertheless, Israeli television reported in December that the military's judge advocate general was gathering evidence for possible criminal charges against military officers who may have given orders for cluster bombs to be dropped on populated areas.


One thing we could do, if we gave enough of a shit, is to lead the way in getting rid of chickenshit "weapons" such as land mines and cluster bombs once and for all, or at least strongly sanction their use in populated areas. You want to land-mine the DMZ or the Waziristan border, fine, as long as it's clearly delineated. But the collateral damage from these damned things is nearly always non-combatant, and as such should be unacceptable for use in populated areas, especially cities.

Israel has a right to defend itself, but its response last summer was disproportionate, and its excuses disingenuous. Saying that you don't "deliberately" target civilians, simply because you "warn" them before you drop what are in effect land mines in their neighborhoods, just doesn't wash.

Wednesday, January 31, 2007

Molly Ivins

Molly Ivins has passed away, and in a time when most of the opinion-mongers we read, see, and hear have allowed themselves to be compromised by the people they're supposed to cover objectively, she deserves credit. She wrote and spoke about the people and issues which drive Texas and the entire country with a truly rare combination of wit, grace, intelligence, and integrity, and her insight will be sorely missed.

On the other end of the spectrum, soul-sucking creatures like Robert Novak will probably outlive my future grandchildren, provided he stays clear of garlic and mirrors.