Spins of the Father

As the saying goes, success has many parents, failure is an orphan. Abject, incompetent, ass-pounding failure has a father -- Poppy Bush, who has thrown his coveted endorsement behind our good friend John McCain.

Mr Bush described Mr McCain's character as "forged in the crucible of war" and said he would carry conservative values to the White House in November's vote.

Perfect. So let's deconstruct this a bit -- Poppy is an emeritus of the realpolitik school, and his son has spent the last eight years overwhelmingly, deliberately repudiating and dismantling that legacy. Poppy cries in public when he thinks about all the unfair criticism poor Fredo has had to endure from mean, um, citizens. Fredo talks about how much he prays, and re-reads George Washington biographies, and that damned yellow rug.

John McCain very likely would have been president in the 2000 campaign had Fredo not calumniated him in a most despicable fashion in South Carolina. In retaliation for said character assassination, McCain has been as faithful a lapdog as this fiery wreck of an administration could have hoped for. He's shown quite thoroughly that he'll say and do whatever anyone with a voting bloc wants him to, albeit with an insouciant crack that makes the media's pants wet with excitement.

And this really is the coup de grace, because now the Bushies own McCain's ass. If they want him to wear a gimp mask and a ball-gag on the campaign trail, he'd best start changing outfits, because he's their boy now, and no matter how much he tries to tack center this summer, and weasel out from under his own role in Fredo's follies, he's pinned under them. All that's left is consolidating the retards who would vote for a random farm animal before they'd go Democrat, and peeling off a few more idjits who have somehow conflated honorable service with actual expertise.

But if nothing else comes from this dog-and-pony show, the least we can step up and do is get the Bush family out of American politics, once and for all. Let them be Moonie water-carriers in perpetuity; if they think they're keeping their foot in the door by making McCain their butt-boy, they're mistaken.