The Platypus Defense

The Reiser case has been in the Bay Area media for some time, and is distinguishable from the usual domestic violence deaths primarily by the sheer weirdness of the defendant, his family, and now his own attorney. This may be the single most bizarre quote I've ever read from a court case, and I proofread court transcripts for five years.

Du Bois said Hans Reiser is the victim of "one of the great screw jobs," perpetrated by his wife. "It's easy to screw a platypus," he said.

The defense put a picture of a platypus on the screen in court. On Wednesday, Du Bois repeatedly held up a stuffed-animal platypus.

Despite the lack of a body, they seem to have Reiser dead to rights. He took the passenger seat out of his car and hosed out the interior right after his wife turned up missing. He seems surprised that investigators found that a bit suspicious.

Reiser's previous defense was that this is all a setup perpetrated by the Russian mafiya. If half of what I've read about the Russian mafiya is true, if they had a problem with Reiser, there would be pieces of him strewn from San Mateo to Concord; they don't seem to particularly keen on arcane frame-up jobs for dealing with schmucks.

Anyway, the platypus defense. And you thought "if it doesn't fit, you must acquit" was a bold gambit.