Sunday, April 26, 2009

Bonfire of the Inanities

Maybe I'm just too cynical for my own good, but I think the Susan Boyle "story" is less an indictment of the implicit "looksism" of our society (fucking duh), than a perfect example of how frequently the line between supposedly "legitimate" media entities and tabliod fluff is willfully blurred by its more institutional players.

Seriously, I have no doubt an article of this grade could be found quickly in People or Entertainment Weekly. The primary difference between the Times and Redbook is that people reading the former probably think they're too smart to bother with the latter, even though they frequently end up reading the exact same sort of shit. There is absolutely no logical reason a contestant from some indistinguishable limey reality talent show should merit this (or any) attention, whether she looks like Shrek or Heidi Klum.

Since I get up an hour or so early to get on the treadmill and lift weights before heading in to work, I've had the stark misfortune of acquainting myself with the morass of morning teevee. Christ, what a stinking butthole of broadcast manure these shows are. Commercials for bizarre fourth-generation People's Court knock-offs and mortgage-lending scams, bookending the most trivial, asinine, sensationalized nonsense passed off as "news".

It's the sort of shit TMZ and the E! Channel specialize in, but without all the irony. I honestly don't know how (or hell, what sort of) people sit through the first hour of the Today show, much less the fourth. If this is not a deliberate conspiracy to condition viewers to the docility of cattle, prodding them occasionally to some manufactured hot-button issue, I don't know what is.

I've found that going through my DVD collection for the morning workout, throwing on some old Ben Stiller or Mr. Show, or Motörhead or Rush concert videos, to be a much better solution. Feel the burn!


The Vile Scribbler said...

For me, the end of May is a sad time, what with the end of the European soccer season for a couple months, and thus the task of trying to find things to watch while doing four to five miles on the treadmill several times a week. Thank goodness for DirecTV and the DVR, so I can stockpile Daily Show and Reno 911! episodes. Video rental can't be depended upon, so I often turn to using that hour-plus to listen to new music. Thank goodness for the iPod, too, while I'm being grateful for technology.

Occasionally, I sit and wait for some minor work to get done on my vehicle, and since early mornings are the easiest time to do that, I've suffered through the Today show and all that shit a few times. The sheer inanity and vapidity of Regis and Interchangable Bottle Blond make it feel like a vacuum is literally sucking the intelligence out of my skull. They could do a show on the most highbrow subject imaginable and somehow make it sound like the stupidest thing you've ever heard.

Heywood J. said...

I caught a few of the World Cup matches the last time around, and it was better than I thought it would have been. I'd watch it if it came with my satellite package.

As it is, if it weren't for maybe four or five channels and football, I'd just Netflix everything. I got rid of HBO about a month ago, and don't miss it. Two years ago that would have been unthinkable. But it's a big bucket of crap these days.

But yeah, mornings are the biggest wasteland. I found that out real quick during my ten-week "vacation", but my mornings were obviously less structured then. Now I spend that 6:00-7:00 block of time every morning wondering what the hell sort of people actually sit through Cristina's Court and fall for pyramid schemes and diet pills.