Heightening the Contradictions

Let's cut right to it -- Arizona deserves Steven Seagal for a governor, just like California deserved Schwarzenegger. Stoking a second career as a slightly upscale Dog the Bounty Hunter and widow's peak advocate, Seagal accurately represents the long-standing, ongoing deep well of yahooism in Arizona state politics. This is, after all, the same state that, just in the last couple decades, had in its state house a corrupt used car salesman, a grown-ass man called "Fife," and, um, Jan Brewer.

So, yeah, I hope Seagal runs and wins. I hope he immediately appoints serial torturer, waster of taxpayer dollars, and modern day Boss Hogg Joe Arpaio as Attorney General. I think these are the sorts of moves that might clarify things for people.

The 'bagger Wolverines are remarkably consistent in their anger, because it keeps them warm. They get away with stunts like this because no one else is as angry as they are. They use volume and aggression to make up for lack of numbers. Old, angry retirees have only so many distractions. They count on the fact that everyone else either has a job, or trying to find one; they don't have time to fuck around with this Minuteman horseshit.

So maybe it's time someone else got angry, and maybe this would be just the thing to wake them up. Maybe when the entire state, and not just Maricopa County, has Shurf Joe and his unlicensed, unregulated posse of child molesters and reprobates crawling up their collective asses, pulling them over for no goddamned reason and popping taillights like Alex Karras in Porky's, then maybe you have some clarification as to exactly what the nature of your enemy is.