Saturday, February 16, 2019

Motel Hell

Get a load of what suckers with too much money are paying for these days:


Welcome Amway regional managers! Be sure to enjoy the many fine amenities here at Doubletree Fresno!

Supposedly this is the omelet bar at Fuckface's rat-infested Florida shithole -- you know, the one he went to right after declaring a national emergency. Maybe the real emergency is the idea of putting ketchup on an omelet, which you know is a thing he does, at least when they've run out of Mrs. Butterworth.

But yeah, this is so fucking perfect, it's just about impossible to parody. It's basically what a comedy writer would have rejected for being too on-the-nose. I love it, the whole thing -- the chintzy furniture and tacky, ancient carpet; the omelet bar that looks like it was stolen from a hunting lodge; the ketchup bottles (again); the poster of Trump behind the hapless server (apparently this was from a -- get this -- fitness campaign partnered with Walgreen's, which involved Celebrity Apprentice pedometers, from a guy who takes a golf cart to the bathroom). The place looks like an airport food court. There's probably a filthy Sbarro's just out of the shot, with a fake Time cover of him on its wall.

Anyone spending tens or hundreds of thousands of dollars to be within a hundred miles of this dump:
  • deserves to get taken for every cent;
  • didn't work nearly hard enough for it;
  • needs to get taxed at a 120% rate.

2 comments:

  1. What's that thing on the chair in the foreground? Looks like a used baby nappie ("diaper" in American parlance.)

    P.S. Is that a MAGAt hat the Maggot is wearing? Does the fugucker tote them totes of the time? Or just when his 'ranga-pelt isn't properly poofed? When one cannot see the troll mop on top, he looks like any other tubolard FuxNoozgrandpa.

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  2. I too wondered about the jockstrap on the chair, thinking surely it's photoshopped. But no. Beyond parody indeed.

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