Here Comes Your Man

The legends foretold
The prophecy fulfilled
Three hundred pounds
   in an empty suit
Bought with the sweat and trust of others

The electricity of the arena
Dust cleared from last week's
   monster-truck rally
The smells of diesel and adrenaline

We came to sing the hymns in unison
We came to receive The Word
   and bear witness
      and tell our grandkids
         if they ever visit or call again

He preens and slouches
   with swag-bellied rhythms
      and the certainty of the blank slate

I am Truckasaurus! he roars and cackles
I will build a wall of cactus
   and Kid Rock CDs
      right up their asses
They will pay for that wall, all of them will pay

I have landed a man on the moon
   and shot a fifty-two at Pebble Beach
      and knocked down the Berlin Wall
         with my enormous cock
They don't want you to know the truth
They can't love you like Ike loves you, baby

Load up on avocados on your way out
   and pelt a lib-fag or three
It's the best way to show them
   that you are the most real
      of all people
No one has ever been more real or more pure

Don't forget to buy some swag