The Great Depression

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Hilarious

This is one of those weird, harmless, funny stories making the rounds this week:  apparently Alec Baldwin's wife has been engaging in some sort of long-running Andy Kaufman performance-art exercise in pretending to be of Spanish heritage. Even funnier is that some of the self-appointed keepers of the "cultural appropriation" watch have declared themselves put off by this peculiar avocation of Hillary -- ah, I mean Hilaria Baldwin.

These subcultures are fascinating to me when they reveal themselves to the larger "culture," such as it is. If I understand the situation correctly, Hilaria has ensconced herself in the coveted "momfluencer" niche, getting attention and teevee time and emoluments not only for being married to a talented actor (who is a quarter-century her senior), but for being seen using certain brands on her Instagram feed.

Imagine being able to get a nice check delivered to your mailbox, simply by taking a selfie of you, for example, using Goya beans in your kitchen. Amazing times we live in.

It's all about what aspects of this "story" people want to fixate on. What's weirder -- that a thirsty celeb-adjacent milf entered an arena where such characteristics tend to be CV boosters, and leveraged a mythical aspiration as an extra foot in the door; or that there are upper-middle-class women out there for whom such a person is considered to be "influential" in some respect? How dare this person, whom I don't know but from whom I take merchandising cues, present herself as something she is not! Why, I never! (Well, maybe you should.)

Even funnier is that she has been playing this character for years, and only now some enterprising celebrojourno decided to do about thirty seconds of digging through public records to figure it all out. Well done, yournamalistas. Good thing there's nothing else worth getting to the bottom of these days.

If nothing else, her and her parents' love for Spanish culture appears to be sincere. Maybe she really wishes she were Spanish, rather than from privileged Boston Brahmin stock. Big deal. Look at the extended tedium of the Kardashian-Jenner tribe, and their exhausting, constant leg-humping to pimp and peddle and schmooze every goddamn product straight up 'murka's collective asshole. Look at Kanye's tiresome attempts to pretend to be a genius, or even pass as a functional human being.

This is going to sound completely sexist and lookist and chauvinistic, and I don't give a good goddamn -- anyone who can squeeze out five kids in seven years and still look like that can pretend to be whatever the hell she wants, and good luck with it.

Thug the Police

I get why articles such as this consistently approach the stories from the "race" angle. I do get it, and it's certainly an important element. But an even more important element, which goes completely unmentioned, is that any cop who guns down an unarmed civilian taking groceries into their house is just not very good at their job, at all. In fact, they're really fucking bad at the job.

And when your job lets you literally get away with murder, that's a problem.

Clearly this Meade character is your standard Hollyweird issue high-toned-cowboy type. This is a problem, and it transcends race. Hell, I'm a middle-aged white married guy with a degree and a good job, and I look the part. And I wouldn't want to be pulled over or approached by that asshole.

Or these fuckers. What the hell is this shit? Why are we forced to pay people like this to terrorize citizens, indemnify them from their misdeeds, and foot the bill for the inevitable lawsuits? For what? Is anyone any safer because they made this kid roll his window down, and pepper-sprayed his father for filming the encounter (as is his legal right)?

Or you can visit Greg Doucette's Twitter feed, and dig back through the hundreds -- I'm sure it's well over a thousand by now -- of videos from all over the country, of militarized punks beating the shit out of unarmed citizens peacefully exercising their rights. He's got a new one up tonight, of a Vacaville cop holding his K-9 partner -- yes, a dog -- down and repeatedly punching the animal in the head.

It's an understatement to point out that this is precisely the mentality that needs to be identified and weeded out of all local law enforcement agencies now, not that it will happen. They'll give this scumbag some public slap on the wrist, transfer the dog to another cop -- who probably won't treat it that way; I've known several K-9 officers over the years, and they absolutely love and spoil their canine partners as much as possible -- put the human cop on some bullshit desk job for eighteen months until it all blows over, then put him back on the street with some rook that no one else wants to work with.

Then he cashes out at age fifty with ninety percent of his wages, starts some "security" side-hustle mostly to chase tail, maybe coaches pee-wee soccer for the same reason, and never experiences a moment where he has to think back on things he's done, people he victimized. If the guy's holding down a fuckin' trained Malinois and punching it, there's at least a few humans he's done the same to, and will again. Maybe his wife, maybe someone he pulled over for a seat-belt ticket got lippy with him, but someone. Count on it.

Anyone who's interested in this topic is probably already aware of the broader counter-arguments:  the vast majority of cops are nothing like these bastards, yet that ninety-nine percent of "good" cops are constrained by the culture and the leadership of The Job, blah blah blah. and there's a lot of truth to all that. As with prison guards, when the nature of your job is dealing with assholes all day, it's only a matter of time before you just reflexively assume everyone is an asshole.

But I know this much -- if George Floyd was white, he'd still be alive. Ditto Breonna Taylor, and Philando Castile, and Eric Garner, and countless others. I know that the Minneapolis PD, and many other urban police departments, take a notorious "training" by the name of "Bulletproof Warrior," where the instructor basically trains cops to act and think as if they're IDF forces patrolling the Gaza Strip, dealing with suicide bombers and shoulder-launched missiles. That is not an exaggeration.

And until that stops, we're going to be doing this dance over and over again. And they don't just do it to minorities either -- don't forget about Daniel Shaver or Justine Damond. (Damond's killer, a cop of Somali descent, was eventually convicted of third-degree murder and manslaughter, and is currently serving a 12.5-year sentence. Shaver's murderer had the benefit of being tried in Arizona, and so walked away from his crime scot-free.)

So it is about race, but it's mostly about power, and what sort of people are allowed to exercise it, and what sort of judgment some of these people have, and the lack of accountability when that judgment proves tragically wrong. This used to be a redneck-south commonplace sort of thing, but many of the more noteworthy incidents in recent years have occurred in relatively liberal enclaves, run by Democratic city councils and mayors, in states with Democratic governors and senators.

"Defund the police" is an unrealistic goal; not only won't it happen, but it shouldn't happen. There are bad people out there, and you do need some sort of enforcement mechanism to protect the public. But there's a ton of stuff that can and should be done along that spectrum -- demilitarize; remove the army toys; better psych batteries to screen candidates; better and longer training periods (in some states it literally takes more hours to become a hairdresser than a cop); ending qualified immunity; insisting on real accountability.

Returning to the top link as an example, it doesn't really matter to me whether Jason Meade can be proven to be a racist or not. I mean, it's awful if he is a racist, but the deeper problem is that he's demonstrated -- repeatedly, as his record shows -- that he's unqualified for his job. We don't need these self-styled "avenging angel" cowboy-preacher types. This is not a fucking Gary Cooper movie, and the people that can't handle that fact need to find another line of work.

Nobody forces anybody to be a cop, so if someone's at the point where they feel it's too thankless and dangerous, well, as the free-marketeers always tell us, get out there and create the future you deserve.

Mood for Thought

Fintan O'Toole has been making a name for himself this year with his scathing, pithy essays on our collapsing empire, and the doddering oaf we chose to run it the past half decade. His newest piece is making the rounds, and you should check it out.

Also, too. The Democrats are not your enemy the way the Republicons are, but they aren't your friends, either. Save yourself.

Extremely Plowed and Incredibly Gross

Now this is the good stuff I'm gonna miss. Just inject it right into my veins!

After going through what some called a scripted monologue that also featured interjections from Guilfoyle, Trump Jr. eventually paid some attention to what his girlfriend means to him. “And I’m reasonably thankful for Kimberly,” Trump Jr. began the awkward message. “Maybe not… not so much. I don’t wanna, you know, I’ve managed to maintain a very low bar with Kimberly, so I don’t want her to get too big of an ego, accustomed to kindness.”

I wouldn't spare too much sympathy for Li'l Kim there. Truly a nasty cunt, and that's not a word I use lightly. She deserves a companion like El Chupo, coked-up and vainglorious, forever stuck between desperately seeking his daddy's approval and wishing he was a Guccione.

One thing I'm absolutely certain of, and it brings me joy to no end, is the knowledge that Junior is one of the most miserable fuckers you could ever hope to avoid. All you have to do is listen to him and look at his facial expressions. He's an easy read, because like his old man, he's so painfully needy. He knows he's a pile of shit, that he could disappear tomorrow and no one would miss him, besides maybe his children. He has five, you know, and if even three of them are still on speaking terms with him by the time they reach adulthood, he should consider it a lucky break.

Don't feel sorry for any of these people. Unlike most people in that state of mind, Junior and Li'l Kim actually have the money and means to get off the pain train and work on themselves for as long as it takes to get right. They could take a year or two and just get away from the scumbags and pimps and chiselers that surround them, and figure out what their lives should really be like.

They choose not to, again and again, They want this. This is all they have. It takes courage to arrive at the understanding that you really are better off "broke" (relatively speaking) and happy than "wealthy" and miserable. It takes guts to realize that you need to work on yourself, and that the work never really ends -- that in fact there is joy and catharsis in the work itself.

Every single person in this grotesque "family" is a coward -- morally, ethically, spiritually. They have nothing else in their little lives but the unquenchable thirst -- for approval, for popularity, for the official cover to push around the haters and losers who see them for what they really are.

None of them has ever made an honest cent or been in a fair fight. That is all you need to understand about any of them. Guilfoyle's a perfect fit for them, because she's impossibly ambitious -- that is, her ambitions clearly exceed any actual talents by a country mile, and she knows it, so she has to make up for those deficits. She'd suck a roomful of random dicks to win a sack race. And she's fine with shacking up with a cokehead who talks about her like she's a stray dog. Her performance at the Republicon Convention a few months ago was not an act, it was her id unleashed, her true self boosted with what she knew her boyfriend and his creepy, ogling father would want to hear from her.

I would literally bet my next paycheck that Senior has grabbed her tits and/or ass at least once, or made some sort of obvious comment, and that Junior knows it, and will never confront his old man about it. Look at them, listen to them, you know it's true. Probably worse than that even.

I'm not saying that money can't buy you happiness -- despite what they tell you, it can. At the very least, having money is better than not having money, if you're a halfway well-adjusted human being. But if you're a miserable asshole to begin with, someone who's been able to coast through life never having to earn or justify anything you do or say, more money will just magnify those problems. It papers over them for a while, but sooner or later, it becomes clear that the demons are driving the bus, it's just a somewhat nicer-looking bus. Eventually the gold leaf and cheap filigree peel away and reveal things for what they always were.

Beltway Syndrome

Story time, kids -- pretty sure I have not told this one before, if I have it was years ago. After sixteen years, the Blogheimers is kicking in with some regularity.

So back in the mid-'70s, when I moved from smoggy Los Angeles to the epic glories of the Great State of Jefferson, we lived for about two years out in a rural district, probably ten miles removed from what was then a town of about 3,500 to begin with. I was in second grade, rode the bus, which given the distance it had to cover took about thirty to forty minutes to get to the school. Fun times.

Even at that age, I was a voracious reader, and would walk to the library on the next block over from the school to grab three or four books for most weekends. I liked the Hardy Boys "mysteries" in particular; as cheesy and twee as they might be in retrospect, they probably provided an early synaptic pathway for my adult love of most crime fiction.

Mind you, I'm not saying that the Hardy Boys are a gateway drug to Dennis Lehane and James Lee Burke, but if you start reading that genre (even peripherally) at seven years of age, you might hard-wire yourself to later, more adult iterations.

Anyway. So one fine morning we're on the school bus headed into town. Most of the kids got along fairly well, but one kid, a former friend from up the road who was a year older, and had several meaner older brothers (one of whom later did nine years for rape, and was ultimately murdered by his own adult daughter in retribution -- take a wild guess for what) who enjoyed egging him on, decided to give me a hard time. You know, for being a reader. As Homer Simpson so poetically put it, Egghead likes his booky-wook!

So first a couple of taunts and head-slaps, then shoving my books onto the floor. Even at the ripe old age of seven, I could sense a couple of important things quite clearly:

• This was going to escalate, one way or another.
• I can get out in front of this, or I can curl up and wait it out.
• If I choose option #2, this is going to be a daily occurrence. Plus, since I go to the same school as this asshole, and he's only a year older than me, this might go on for a while.

As the bus, piloted by a crotchety tart lovingly nicknamed "Myrtle the Turtle," trundled its way past the rural district cemetery, I picked up the top book from the pile on the floor, and swung it directly into the other kid's face. Didn't break anything, fortunately, but there was blood suddenly. I dropped the book and started swinging wildly, the way a kid who's never thrown a punch yet will do, connecting maybe one in five but getting a message through -- don't fuck with me, I will fight back.

After what seemed like an hour but was only a few seconds -- we were, after all, still moseying past the maybe two-acre cemetery -- I had enough awareness to consider the possibility that fighting on the bus might Get Me In Big Trouble. I stopped for a moment and glanced up the seemingly endless center aisle of the school bus, toward that large rectangular mirror where you could see what or whom the bus driver was looking at. Myrtle looked directly at me, and beneath that grim squint I could see the barest trace of a tight-lipped smile. All bus drivers know who the troublemakers are on their routes.

So I did not Get In Trouble; as I departed the bus, Myrtle looked over at me and said, "Don't do that anymore," with that same tight-lipped smirk. "Okay," I peeped meekly, just relieved that whatever that Trouble was, it wouldn't find me that day anyway.

Better yet, those other kids left me alone after that. We didn't magically become all friends, but they at least understood that, for their purposes of cheap amusement, I was more trouble than I was worth. And for the entire next year, until we moved across town, there wasn't any guff from anyone.

By now, you see my broader point. It's a staple of every cheesy prison movie, from The Shawshank Redemption on down -- you don't have to be a brutal predator, but if you show yourself as a victim, there will always be a line of takers to treat you like one.

I'd like to think Joe Biden has seen, far more intimately than any of us can imagine, how the empty tropes of collegiality and courtesy and comity work out in reality, when the other side is actively invested in engineering your failure, and makes it clear that they couldn't care less about how it all affects non-elite citizens. I'd like to think he understands that he doesn't have to take suggestions from professional cynics, that if he wants to purge bad-faith weasels and little Eichmanns out of his offices, that is his prerogative, and it is entirely in his own rational self-interest.

If Biden hopes to get anything done, he needs to start with wiping the functionary scum, the bureaucratic enzymes that processed the previous maladminstration's endless fecal waste, out of the body. And he doesn't owe anyone any apologies for it; in fact, he -- and the rest of the octogenarians running his party -- need to step up and take credit for as much as they can, shout it from the rooftops.

The "performative" aspect of politics has been gone into at great length here and elsewhere, increasingly so over the past half-decade. It sucks that it matters, but it matters. Just like in that little-kid "fight" on the school bus nearly a half-century(!) ago, it was less important that I "won" the fight, than that I showed all those kids that I was willing to fight, that they weren't just going to roll me.

Biden doesn't need to ask anyone's fucking permission -- not Moscow Mitch, and certainly not some Beltway scriveners who are directly dependent on their access and their surface-of-the-sun hot-takes, suffused as they are with the hoariest of conventional wisdoms. Only Democrats need to seek the permission of the opposition party. Only Democrats need to seek "unity" with the hopelessly angry, hopelessly incoherent bloc that comprises the base of the opposition party. Only Democrats are expected to "moderate" with purposefully immoderate people. Every fucking time.

They need to operate as if their backs are against a great big immovable wall, because they are. They need to remember back to 2006, when they took a midterm win and literally managed to save Social Security from privatization. They fought like they understood that it was real life-or-death shit, that the usual gutless incrementalism wouldn't cut it anymore. That was engineered by none other than Nancy Pelosi, which proves she can do it.

But they have to stop fretting and prattling about how they're going to "explain" their moves to some hostile low-info dipshit out in East Overshoe, Arkansas. Those motherfuckers will never vote for you, even if you came to their doorsteps with duffel bags full of cash. Bokay? They just won't.

When the Democrats stop worrying about "explaining" and "framing" shit, and putting real energy and effort into motivating people, it's an ironclad guarantee that they'll be surprised at the results. Say what you will about the conspiracy-addled doofuses on the right, but they are motivated, passionate, and they show up. I mean, they're motivated and passionate about all the wrong things, but what would a motivated and passionate counterpart to them on the left look like, people motivated about things that would actually benefit them and their communities and regions, the country and planet as a whole?

What might that look like? Since we are not permitted to vote for any parties other than the two (or two wings of the same one) duly anointed by the holy dollars of Corporate America and its mediaopoly octopus, we'll never know.

But in the end, this will be the one true barometer you can use to determine whether the Biden administration has a chance at "success," however you want to define it, and whether the next decade in the US can start undoing the ravages of the first two decades of this wondrous new millennium, or if we have more 'n' better decline of empire in the years to come.

It all starts with whether Biden and his team understand that this is their one and only chance to fight, that when the zombie apocalypse comes, capitulation is really not an option -- you can only strive to find slightly safer ground, and take as many of them down as you can in the process. They are not going to negotiate with you on anything.

So whom and what do they intend to fight for? We're about to find out, and the answer will either raise or doom their party, whether they understand that or not. But they need to decide, or Moscow Mitch and his merry brand of treasonous bandidos will be happy to make that decision for them.

Children of a Lesser Clod

Interesting thread here about a group of, um, freedom fighters storming the Oregon State Legislature in Salem. As they say in the 'hood, read the whole damned thing.

Coupla minor and fairly obvious observations:

• These people are fucking stupid. Like, aggressively so, like Pfizer developed a mega-vaccine to inoculate these bozos against the ravages of coherent thought, and pumped it straight up their asses until it was coming out their ears. It takes real effort to be that much of a dipshit.
  
• While thread writer Laura Jedeed is indeed correct that these folks are dealing with tough times and economic fallout from the plandemic, that even in "normal" times these are not people who are swimming in top-shelf liquor and prime rib and all, that's not the real problem. Every protest has some sort of goal:  as ludicrous as I might find the idea that mobbing the streets of American cities is suddenly going to make our militarized urban police squads think twice about killing black people, it's still a goal. "Defund the police" is never going to happen, but it is a mission statement.

  These hard-up slapdicks have no goal beyond durrr, let us into your sneaky Chinee meetin', so's we can cough all over ever'body while regurgitating half-remembered Alex Jones bits! Great. And then what? That's the thing about all these wannabe Braveheart doofuses -- they have no idea what they would do if they "won," or even what the act of "winning" would look like.

  Not much offends me, but as someone of some measure of Scots ancestry (but hey, also English, Welsh, Irish, French, German, Polish, Russian, and even a bit of Norwegian, so go figure), I do find it a bit off-putting every time one of these pathetic assholes tries to flex nuts on their William Wallace game. Wallace fought against real oppression and suffered one of the most brutal deaths you can imagine; these ridiculous fuckers might accidentally get maced (or "maced") by a nervous cop. Beyond being begged to wear a mask, and maybe not being able to get away with using hundred-round ammo drums on their full-auto village sweeper anymore, The Man ain't exactly knuckling down on them in any appreciable way.
  

• How many of these jerkoffs drove to their little zombie gathering in $50k trucks, waving $100-200 flags? How many of them are going to hit the swag kiosk for more of that shit? Tell me more about their economic anxieties. That song never gets old.
  

I wonder how much longer our boys in blue are going to feel comfortable having two sets of rules for protesters, kicking the shit out of unarmed hippie-types, while letting the angry right-wing losers run amok. You saw it in the Million Thousand Magat March in DC a couple weeks ago, where a few cops got hit by stray projectiles, while fascist gangs vandalized black churches. No Antifa to blame it on, so sad, too bad, truth sucks don't it boys?

All these herrenvolk fascists know that they're protected, that the one thing their ludicrous caudillo promised them was to be in the group that was protected by laws but not bound by them, rather than that other group that is bound by laws and mercilessly persecuted with them. So when they don't get their way, and the armored shock troops not only aren't helping them but are [gasp!] obstructing their righteous entry into the Halls of Representative Democracy, well, that is an unforgivably perfidious action.

If there's one thing these dirtbags drag around with them like a fucking cross, everywhere and anywhere, it's this overweening sense of betrayal, that they've been cheated out of something they think they earned, that they're sure they were entitled to. Prob'ly some black or meskin had it given to them, by some bleeding-heart Soros-owned libturd who's setting the stage to re-edumacate the good foke.

Heh. Re-educate? How the fuck do you re-educate someone who isn't remotely educated in the first place? How do you retrain someone who sincerely believes that the one skill they sorta learned thirty years ago is the only thing they should ever have to learn in life? How do you convey any sort of new idea or concept, any advancement or improvement in life and how we all live it, to people who haven't so much as looked at a book since they dropped out of high school? That's not snark, I know motherfuckers like that, literally like that.

It would be nice if someone were out to educate them, maybe drop some truth on their heads, that all that cheap shit they get at Wal-Mart -- hell, all those fucking lame-ass "flags" they fly, like they think it's something special -- all that sweatshop shit comes with a price. It warn't as cheap as you were led to believe, bunky, and here's the bill for it, right here right now. Fucking morons. Who says karma doesn't turn up once in a while.

Looks like things are about to get worse, probably in multiple ways. A new Covid-strain, probably engineered by Bill Gates, Xi Jinping, and the restless shade of Hugo Chavez, has hit the UK, so we'll see how all those "warp speed" vaccines do with the Covid-21. We'll see how all those salty goobers do with the $600 checks Uncle Mitch generously cut for them, and who they decide to blame for it.

Six hunnert bucks prob'ly don't buy too many of them "no step on snek" flags. Maybe they can go terrorize more retail outlets with their tiresome idiocy. Maybe one of them, or a splinter cell of them, decides to take things up a notch, while we're tagging more than a 9/11-sized body count every fucking day now.

Two infamous quotes, from two diametrically different people, running through my mind right now:

"Life's tough. It's tougher when you're stupid." -- John Wayne (possibly apocryphal)

"When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro." -- Hunter S. Thompson

A modern, industrialized nation -- even in the best of times, even when not beaten down by a worldwide plague -- cannot survive being driven by its dumbest and cruelest elements. It just can't. People like that are always going to be part of the scenery, but if we don't find a way to push them back to the margins, and stop being responsive to every dumb thing they do and say and react to, it's going to be a long, ugly road down.

Probably a good time for each of us to do a quick personal inventory, make sure things are in order and stocked up. I don't mean going full prepper and hoarding 55-gallon drums of rolled oats in your concrete bunker, but just making sure that your home is secure, you have at least a couple weeks worth of food -- dried, canned, preserved and shelf-stable, you go out only when necessary for the next four to six months. Might not hurt to have a gun or two, just in case.

Next year is shaping up to be even worse than this one, and that will be the case right from the start. Until the agents of law enforcement decide to apply the laws equally to these increasingly violent and restive factions among us, this is how it's going to be -- only more so.

Fuck Your Feelings

As far as any actual librul or Democratic voter is concerned, it's just locker-room talk. Hell, Jen O'Malley Dillon should be given a promotion, a raise, and her own nightly show if she wants it.

Fuck that cheap plastic cuck Marco Rubio and all the rest of the pearl-clutching swine. They can all get on the next express train straight to hell, and rest assured I do not mean metaphorically or figuratively.

It's not even worth bothering with the countless levels of hypocrisy baked into Rubio's empty plaint. Suffice to say we can all recite dozens of examples, we see these people for what they are, and we count on the people we elected to see that as well.

Better get used to these moments for what they truly are:  a test of the Biden administration's nerve. If they even do so much as make Dillon apologize -- to whom? for what? if the treasonous scum of the GOP are not "fuckers," then the word has truly lost all meaning -- then you know what you're gonna be in for.

If we all agree that it's going to take difficult, coordinated work by committed, dedicated, intelligent people just to start undoing the fuckery of the last four years, then we also should agree that the basic fundamentals of such an undertaking involve realizing what's to be gained by compromise and comity and cooperation with the treasonous opposition. Maybe Li'l Marco can go have a chat with some of his colleagues who still -- nearly seven weeks after the most heavily scrutinized and verified election count in our lifetimes -- refuse to acknowledge the duly elected winner, even after all the electoral votes have been duly ratified.

The Biden administration needs to start from a simple premise, before it does anything:  Fuck them. Fuck them all. They act in bad faith. They are not interested in civility, but in capitulation. Treat them as you would a violent intruder in your home -- grab your trusty twelve-gauge and give them the choice of surrendering, leaving, or dying. They cannot be bargained with, and that has been their choice all along.

Once the Georgia runoff is done, however it shakes out, Biden needs to call in the DNC chair and tell them to find someone now to take on Rubio in 2022, and shovel $150 million at them if need be. Invest heavily in oppo research; a smug little shit like Rubio is guaranteed to have some poorly-buried soil falling out of his shoes at random moments.

Understand these people for what they really are, and start acting accordingly. They cannot be worked with. They cannot be compromised with. They can only be beaten into the ground, or succumbed to. If the last half-decade hasn't clarified that, nothing will.

Make no mistake, this is a clarification for the voters more than anything else. Is Biden going to see his moment for its possibilities and be a bold FDR type, or a cringing, whinging "our hands are always tied" font of lame excuses? We're about to find out.

But I think one of the unspecified things many of us voted for is someone who wouldn't bother to listen to a worthless piece of shit like Marco Rubio about anything.

This Year In Fuck 'em, Final Edition (Probably)

I think I have been relatively flexible on the issue of wearing masks in public during a worldwide pandemic, given the circumstances we all must endure. Although on a personal level I tend to think that someone who just can't be troubled to wear a mask for fifteen minutes while they're at the supermarket or whatever is, well, basically a selfish asshole, the fact is the world is full of those, overflowing even.

And as long as the assholes keep their distance, good luck with all that. I don't have the time or inclination to try to browbeat people or convince stubborn idjits. Life's just too short. So as long as they're over there, I'm minding mine over here.

(Now, the angry mow-rons who waddle into Wal-Mart or Trader Joe's and scream at the hapless staff about their fuckin' freedumbs, all's I can say about them is that I sincerely hope they get a dose of the freedom-virus with both barrels. But near as I can tell -- and I live in a pretty red area -- north of eighty percent of people are wearing their masks and minding their business. It's going to have to be close enough.)

But these jamokes? What, are we supposed to feel sorry for them or something? They made their choices, they get to live with the consequences. Isn't that the very essence of liberty and freedom? I'm not being snarkastic here, it's a genuine question. This is what they wanted, this is what they get.

I mean, I get the same sense from that story as I do when, say, a rodeo bull rider gets severely injured. They know what they're getting into; they understand that there's a very real risk of serious injury from teasing a twelve-hundred-pound farm animal.

You could say the same thing about "regular" athletes, but even base-paid NFL and NBA players make more in a year than a lot of the Gove County folks will see in a lifetime. Those fools were willing to risk their lives for free, for some incoherent idea of what "independence" is and should be.

Even today, mask-wearing remains controversial in Gove County, and friendships are being strained as authorities struggle to persuade their neighbors to follow basic public health guidelines, such as avoiding large gatherings.

It seems that too many of these schmucks sincerely believe that their performative "resistance" is going to make libturds cry or something. Another heh, showed yew moment, which is really all they have to look forward to in their weird little lives anymore.

Yup, you sure showed us all right. Boy, do we feel silly. Which is still better than feeling, you know, dead, or sick enough to wish you were dead. Let's not forget that there are plenty of people who survived the #TrumpPlague who now have heart problems, liver damage, cognitive difficulties, and other serious issues. Not everybody who gets it and survives comes out the other end unscathed.

It's really the opposite of hurting or offending anyone -- speaking only for myself, I can only say that the Gove County people might be surprised at how little some of us care. If you've been told for months that stoves are hot, and vending machines will crush you, but you insist on touching a burner and pulling a Coke machine on yourself, I just figure it's nature weeding out the stupid. It doesn't fill me with joy, but it doesn't sadden or anger me either. It's like seeing a dead raccoon on the side of the road, except that no one warned the raccoon about how roads and highways work.

They do owe some sort of apology to the frontline health-care workers who they endanger, though. Frankly, those people are saints -- I would have walked out months ago and said fuck it, especially in a small community where everyone's been told, but has collectively decided to be weird and stubbornly stupid about it. But then, for every person they see who put themselves in the ICU by being an asshole, there's probably two or six or ten that just had the bad fortune to be in proximity to the asshole at the wrong time.

Then you have these fuckers, people who insist on having big weddings with all the guests and parties and trappings, as if nothing else is going on. The sheer sociopathic indifference all of these people show to the wedding photographer they infected tells you everything you need to know about them. 

Whenever you hear some West Wing idealist type trying to pitch the "appeal to their better angels" jabber, refer to folks like that Texas wedding party to remind them that some people simply don't have such a thing. They really don't, and there's not a goddamned thing you can do about it, except keep the hell away from them.

Look, it's true that we all gotta die of something someday. But you don't have to die of this, and not right now. The idea that some people just don't get that until the plague hits them directly, or someone they care about, is deeply repulsive, and says something about the people who think and act that way.

And you can't blame all that on Trump, either. Trump was a lying, buffoonish slapdick decades before this shit hit us. Anyone who was relying on Doctor Babyfingers for life-or-death medical advice was probably bound to pull a vending machine on themselves sooner or later anyway.

Disbarred

Opus Dei anal cyst Bill Barr, whose dad was a teen-diddler and who had Jeffrey Epstein murdered in prison and all the seized Trump-incriminating evidence destroyed, has been fired for refusing to help Agent Orange steal the election.

I have to admit to being somewhat surprised, but as corrupt as Barr has always been, he is intelligent enough to see that it just wasn't close enough to poach. It's not that he wouldn't do it because it was illegal, it's that he couldn't pull it off with enough credibility, once the SCOTUS kicked the bullshit Texas lawsuit back into the dumpster whence it originated.

Even completely amoral dirtbags have some core principles, it turns out. Barr's is that he knows better than to self-incriminate any more than he already has. He's just lucky that the Democrats didn't have the stones to string him up for what he's done.

The biggest failure of leadership and governance regarding Barr's most recent tenure as AG is that he wasn't impeached for lying to Congress, which, last I checked, is still nominally a crime. The second biggest failure is that Barr will now take his walking papers and ooze into a seven-figure "consultant" sinecure at some scummy big-bucks white-shoe law firm, the kind that defends child slavery for fun and profit.

Something this nation has never quite figured out, and until it does, things will never get better:  power needs to be held to account, at least once in a great while. When allowed to operate with total impunity, you keep getting people and acts like these, endlessly escalating. All these fuckers should be in prison, yet they will all be rewarded in various ways. Really, why shouldn't they keep doing what they do?

The Blunder Games

Here is your dystopian future:  a hopelessly addled, embittered old man, brain permanently marinated in a bottomless vat of Cutty Sark, vaingloriously attempting to failsplain to Teh Kidz how flash drives work. Ghouliani is basically Trump with a drinking problem, and without even the small amount of exercise from a round of golf.

But that is not the problem, not remotely. The problem is that the comically inept project Ghouliani has undertaken here belies the truly corrosive nature of the effort. While we're having a larf at the audible courtroom farts and the drunk stripper testimony and the karmavirus catching the main players, they're fine-tuning their approach for the next go-round.

They know this won't work, and they're fine with that. It doesn't have to work, in the sense that "work" means "help Trump steal the election." That particular instance probably will not happen, though I wouldn't take that for granted until the actual moment of Biden's official investiture in January (and maybe not even then).

But this will definitely enable them to calibrate their efforts next time -- and I don't mean 2024, I mean the 2022 midterms. You just wait -- any Senate or House election that is even close is going to be contested.

One thing Trump actually has some expertise in is losing other people's money, which is not as simple as it sounds, since you first have to find wealthy people who are stupid enough to give money to a proven grifter. But second to that, Trump has certainly shown some venal aptitude for knowing how to clog the court system with frivolous nonsense and obstructionist pettifoggery. His penchant for vexatious litigation was well-known long before 2016, and as with all of his other ongoing bad behavior, he has never been given any reason to change.

This is really a moment of truth for Democrats:  either they succumb to the comfortable fictions of "unity" and "reconciliation" and "returning to normal," or they choose to enforce the laws and punish bad actors and criminals.

I wouldn't have much if any confidence in which path they will choose. When presented clear moral choices and opportunities, they typically choose to wring their hands and helplessly invoke Murc's Law. Time after time, they have proven to be infinitely better at excuses than solutions. Until people are held accountable for their actions, they will continue with their criminal activities. And why shouldn't they?

(If I were to propose some sort of addendum to Murc's Law -- call it "Heywood's Corollary" if you like -- it might be something along the lines of acknowledging the reality that Democrats face an opposition composed entirely at this point of amoral brutes, gutless hacks, and assorted actors of varying degrees of bad faith, and yet they (Democrats) continue to persist in equally bad-faith public recitations of an imaginary "need" to "return" to an imaginary "normal" state.

The point of having institutions is to curate a plausible history of how things work and how they transpire. To pretend that conditions were normal or desirable in any way, whether in 2015, 2005, or even 1995 or 1985, is to insist on indulging in a set of lies every bit as pernicious as anything the various Republicon chop shops routinely flop on the table like a twenty-pound sack of shit.

In accordance with formulating various internets laws and axioms and such like, I'll see if I can phrase all that more concisely in the near future.)

Happy Kempers

As irony goes, this is pretty much "crystallize it, crush it, chop it, snort it, and stay up for a month" grade shit:  Georgia Governor Brian Kemp, who as Secretary or State rigged the 2018 election that put him in the governor's seat, is now getting death threats from his own party (as well as open harassment from Dear Leader himself) for -- you guessed it -- not rigging the 2020 election in favor of Kim Don Ill. Call it Stacey Abrams' revenge, call it what you will, this is brilliant, on-brand, if-you-put-it-in-the-script-they'd-laugh-it-out-of-the-room plot management.

And now Kemp and current SoS Brad Raffensperger and vote-suppression factotum Gabriel Sterling are all taking turns at the mike and whinging, with no self-awareness whatsoever, about how terrible and unfair it is that these toxic mutants they empowered have turned on them. Turns out that dangerous mow-rons are just that, and now they're holding street rallies calling Raffensperger and company traitors, with all the actions and consequences such phrasing implies. Turns out words mean things.

Remember the old saying that tragedy is when it happens to you, and comedy is when it happens to someone else? Yeah. They thought it was high-larry-us when libturds were crying and scared. Now, not so much.

Watching these crybabies go on and on about the ugly, scummy shitheads they encouraged for years gives me a chub that would slice through a brick wall. Fuck every one of these people. This is what they asked for; watching them get it with both barrels should bring us all exuberant joy, just in time for Christmas. Seasons beatings, motherfuckers!

This is not to say that death threats are justified or that anyone deserves to be harmed, let's be clear about that. But these are, after all, high-ranking gubmint officials. They have power to pursue recourse against such individuals. They don't just have to sit there and huddle in a corner and wait for it to become real.

So prosecute the scumbags, threaten them with jail time, get them fired from their jobs, etc. Make an example of them, and make it hurt. Otherwise, I don't what to tell you. But just like the militia clowns who plotted to kidnap and murder Michigan Governor Gretchen Whitmer, there are concrete legal solutions to this problem.

There's a few things about this "stealing the election" nonsense that need to be set straight, on the MSM with a bullhorn if necessary:  obviously for Trump this is just another cheap, transparent grift; he's raised $170M since the election for this, and he can do pretty much whatever he wants with the money. (He's gonna need it for defense lawyers over the next couple years.) Republicon pols, of course, know better, but since they are emboldened by not getting the down-ticket ass-kicking last month that they knew they deserved, are still content to hedge their bets, knowing there is no percentage in unnecessarily agitating their zombie basetards.

As for said basetards? There's the real trick, and this is what needs to be broadcast the loudest:  they don't actually care about the integrity of the process. They would have been fine with wide-open cheating, so long as it gave them the results they wanted.

That's why they're entranced by these ridiculous antics spearheaded by Rudy Ghouliani and Jenna Ellis and Sydney Powell, these jokers that aren't even qualified to chase ambulances with a park bench ad, producing "witnesses" that aren't sworn in (because they'd go to jail for perjury) to attest to things that never happened. They don't care that Rudy is a drunk and a clown who has zero evidence for any of his assertions, that he's pulling all of this nonsense out of his ass and getting chewed out by judge after judge for it -- even judges appointed by Dear Leader.

It's a key feature of this whole dynamic we've watched unfold over the past five years, as we've all tried to make sense of "epistemic bubbles" and all the behavioral psych explanations for what parents of every bratty two-year-old already knows:  baby just wants his way, he doesn't care how he gets it.

And rewarding bad behavior just gets more of the same. It's long past high time that the people that enabled this nonsense in the first place learn that lesson themselves, good and hard. Don't worry, after all is said and done, they will have learned absolutely nothing from any of it.

Clarification, Slight Return: You're All Fired

Take a deep breath, and fix a nice beverage of your choosing. You've earned it, just by surviving the last week or so with most of your sanity intact. For a few moments that Saturday afternoon it felt like a burden was being lifted, didn't it? You got the first female and minority veep, and you get rid of Orange Foolius? Such a deal. Like a huge fucking turd finally being sent to its rightful destination, getting rid of Trump.

I mean, even by the low standards we've set here over the years, it's difficult to convey just what a low bastard Donald Trump really is. Just a straight-up, no-exaggeration piece of shit. As I've mentioned countless times before, I can find small but still identifiable redeeming qualities in just about any political figure, no matter how much of an asshole they are.

Cheney and Bush, if nothing else, clearly love their families, and however peculiar their personal codes may be, they are visible. Willard Rmoney, as spineless and unprincipled a person as one could hope for in a business cluttered with them, is still clearly a highly intelligent person. He's just chosen to use that intelligence to gut American businesses, send American jobs overseas, pocket the difference, and sell his soul to people even wealthier and less principled than himself.

Trump, on the other hand, has no redeemable characteristics that one can clearly identify. And the thing is, he never has. The one thing you can say in his "defense" is that he is exactly what he has posed as all these years -- an ignorant blowhard, the drunk at the end of every dive bar, blustering about how he'd "fix" everything "wrong" with this country. He's Archie Bunker with worse hair and other people's money.

But at least Archie adored Edith and Gloria. Trump adores only himself. It should be clear by now that he would burn this country to the ground, eviscerate its institutions and pit its citizens against each other in a national bloodbath, if it would allow him to retain a toehold of power.

And so that is what he is attempting to do now. Think of a cheesy horror flick -- the last victim has escaped the house in their car, not knowing that the killer is in the backseat. And now he's about to raise the bloody knife for one last attack.

The burden is not yet lifted, not until the madness has actually ceased. If I had a nickel for every time over the last five years we all said he can't get away with it while he, uh, got clean away with it, I could retire right now in luxury. He's doing it right now, trying to concoct some Wile E. Coyote scheme to get a couple of state vote counts into the SCOTUS review. It wouldn't take much to knock that EC advantage back.

Just like a full-grown rat needs a hole about the size of a quarter to squeeze its whole body through, these people just need the smallest gap to exploit. And if they've learned anything, it's that there is no reason whatsoever not to try. If you can think of a single disincentive or consequence that any of these fuckers -- Trump, McConnell, Barr, Kayleigh MagaNinny -- has ever gotten for their behavior, I'm all ears.

Frankly, they would be stupid not to try what they're doing. The media are already helping them, in their own stupid way. They can't help themselves, these chumps. They would rather engage in ponderous lectures to the winners of the election about how they must reach out to the losers.

Funny how they didn't inform them of that particular civic duty four years ago. Funny how the lunatic reactionary cultists are never entreatied to stand down and just act like fucking adults for a while.

I resent being harangued by some overpaid, weasel-faced ankle-biter that it's my job to reach out to them. You know? Funny how that works -- when "conservatives" win, it's because "liberals" need to listen to them more; when "conservatives" lose, "liberals" need to listen to them more. Heads we win, tails you lose.

So fuck them too, those insufferable mediots, even if they identify as "liberal" or "moderate" or "Democratic" -- hell, especially if they identify as those things. The fucking balls on these goddamned people, I swear to Christ.

These stupid calls for "unity." Okay. Fine. What, precisely, are we all supposed to "unify" around? If they refuse to accept the idea that Joe Biden legitimately won the election, then what is this common ground of which you speak? Hunh? Hmm? Seriously, where is this mythical halfway point at which liberals -- and only liberals, mind you, conservatives are never asked to do a fucking thing except to keep on keepin' on -- are supposed to meet and shake hands with their honorable opponents?

I have nothing to say to these people that isn't already in that link.

I have no idea what to say to these people, like, at all. Maybe one of these teevee geniuses can 'splain it all to me one more time, 'cause I'm a little slow on the uptake, and I'm all out of fucking kool-aid.

I don't know much, but I know one thing for sure -- the "liberal" or "moderate" who tells actual liberals and Democratic voters that they are responsible for initiating all the "healing" that "we" "need", these people are not your fucking friends or allies. At least I know what to expect from the cultists; the only thing I can think about the explainers is that they get an extra buck for every contrarian hot take they manage to extricate from their pulsating sphincters.

There is no halfway point between full-throated kleptocratic authoritarianism and democracy.

There is no common ground between ridonkulous conspiracy theories about fake sharpie votes, and a duly counted election outcome.

There is no unity to be found between open, brazen lawlessness, and upholding the law.

Assuming this open coup attempt fails, and the Biden administration is permitted by the divine grace of His Travesty's tiny wittle doll hands, they need to hit the ground running, now more than ever, since these current scumbags are going to make them wait out the entire lame-duck period.

It's not as if there's a fucking pandemic going on or anything. I hope Mike Pence is at piece with whatever warped god he worships. At least Trump has never pretended to worship anything other than himself. All these fake christians are going straight to hell, though, and they know it.

Whatever else, always keep in mind that over 72 million people voted for four more years of this bullshit. People are welcome to continue deluding themselves that they were all bamboozled by Trump cultism, by the Murdoch white-noise machine, by Russian micro-targeting on Fakebook. I would reiterate my ongoing suggestion that such assumptions are as ludicrous as the worst Trump-fellating Jon McNaughton painting, just poor by-products of magical thinking.

The world has always been full of assholes. There's just more of them now than ever, and even the dumbest of them are technologically empowered, and protected to a great extent by a nanny state that places warning labels on empty buckets -- not for safety's sake, mind you, but because for every dumb asshole who finds a way to pull a vending machine on himself, there's a goddamned ambulance chaser ready to sniff out the deepest pockets, to make sure his drooling goober client gets paid well for his self-imposed misery.

So it goes in the political arena. We're all at the mercy of the roughly 47% of the population who happen to be angry assholes. You can't reason with them, you can't convince them. You can't appeal to their better angels, because they have none. Like their idiot wampeter, they are completely unyoked from any sort of moral compass. There are no truths, or self rationalizations.

Either the Democrats will realize this and confront it with the necessary force and urgency, or they will default to capitulation. Chances are it will be the latter option, primarily because that is what the insect corporate overlords of the donor/owner class expect from all the pols they rent.

All any of us can do is find ways to divest from the framework as much as possible, to turn away from the constant churn and the bumptious sprawl of the endless news cycle, which oddly produces almost nothing that is new or useful to know. Defunding the horse-race media would be just as useful as defunding the police, frankly, maybe even more so. Imagine if, say, Maggie Haberman were boycotted, and had to go out and ply an honest trade, rather than sucking up to the semi-cool kids on the Trump campus, and stenographing their carefully targeted lies for credulous dupes.

Imagine if CNN were forced to stop bringing on known liars for "balance." Imagine if Mark Burnett never had another successful show.

Every individual has a say in all those things. You can let CNN know that you'll avoid them when they have some interchangeable toad spouting lies. No one makes anyone watch The Voice, or any other Burnett property.

Not that it'll matter in the end. Just like roughly half the people are assholes, most people just don't care enough in general to actually expend even a little bit of energy to stop the bullshit. I'm not interested in what percentage of Trump voters watched, say, The Apprentice when it was a thing. I think it's more interesting to try and figure how many soi-disant liberals watched it, knowing it was cheesy garbage and rolling in it anyway.

Think about it. Pop-culture artifacts over the last couple decades have increasingly become heuristic signifiers that overlap with and point to political tendencies. A simple example would be to think about what the overlap might be between certain reality-teevee curios and how they typically vote.

In other words, what percentage of, say, Duck Dynasty watchers were not just Trump voters, but enthusiastically so? What about viewers of the Duggars (remember them?) or Honey Boo-Boo? How about die-hard SEC football fans, versus the percentage of, say, 49ers fans who voted for Biden?

This may sound like silly culture-vulture posturing, but it is not. It's all just marketing, in the end. Good marketers figure out how to get you to spend money you don't really have on stuff you don't really want. Great marketers spot the patterns and figure out how to tie buyers of one product over to another product.

Experienced marketers will also tell you that it's as much or more about the experience of buying the product as it is about the quality of the product itself. That's how you use "cultural" signifiers to push those connections on your marks -- ah, I mean customers. And if your customer base is willing to spend years of their lives watching the hillbilly cosplay of a bunch of duck-call makers, they're ripe to buy the idea that Donald Trump, a filthy pimp who literally jokes about fucking his own daughter, is a man of god.

It's one thing when a wealthy, decadent society with nothing much to do or worry about collectively decides to use pranksterism as an ongoing mode of political expression. It's quite another when a rotted husk of a dying empire, with millions living in the streets, and tens of millions more just a paycheck or two from that point, make that choice.

I'm glad Biden won, but since it wasn't a bulletproof landslide, and Moscow Mitch still runs the senate, the victory is not what it could and should have been. I'm continuing forward with the same plans I had in case of a loss -- spend the next few years getting some tech certs; sock away as much money as possible; keep working on my house to get it ready to sell; and research the other areas that might be worth spending the rest of my life in.

I think that's all any of us can do, since you can't beat the marching morons with reason and logic. You just have to find ways to insulate yourself as much as possible from their bad decisions. Show up and vote every time, but prepare for bad outcomes all the same.

But the bottom line is that, absent an extremely bold and swift set of actions on the part of the Biden administration, many of which will almost certainly be slowed or thwarted by a treasonous Republicon senate, the next decade or two minimum is going to see continued decline, and it will not turn around without some set of massive catastrophes, some ongoing set of natural disasters in a wide range of areas. Nothing else seems to get through to people; the long, slow spread of the #TrumpPlague doesn't elicit the reaction you would expect from a quarter-million dead in nine months. It's going to take a hurricane wiping Miami or Houston from the map, or a mega-wildfire incinerating the entire State of Jefferson.

In the meantime, it looks like he's fucking gone, and all his cheating and stealing is probably going to fail. (Never say never until he's actually out of there; the thing about Calvinball is that there are no rules.) If nothing else, that's a start, and a small step back toward sanity. The next critical step is to investigate and prosecute everyone for every single criminal act committed, and I'm just not confident the Dems have the stones to push it.

As always, I hope I'm wrong about all of this.

Clarification

I think there have been instances in the past where I've indulged in some Kanye West smackdown, and some commenters have thought I'm kidding or riffing.

Folks, if you believe nothing else I've ever written in here over the past fifteen years or so, believe this:  I am not kidding. In fact, I'm toning it down. It's not just that West is an overrated no-talent hack, that I've literally seen randos on YouTube crank out better music just messing around. It's that he's a tiresome, insufferable piece of shit as a human being.

Here he is voting for the first time, for himself (of course), and nothing else. No down-ballot candidates, nothing. Keep in mind Kanye West is forty-three years old. But he's every bit as narcissistic and solipsistic as his ridonkulous orange daddy.

Fuck him. He deserves to be rendered destitute. I feel sorry for his offspring, but considering their parents and their start in life, I have no doubt they'll be just as bad long before they even hit puberty. I hope when they reach adulthood and realize who and what their parents really are, they reject everything about them and go and carve their own meaningful niches in life. Which is also my hope for Barron Trump.

The people who willingly give this asshole their money, whether for his shitty music or his hundred-twenty-dollar tee-shirts or whatever, are every bit as deluded and pathetic as the fucktards driving around with giant Trump flags. They are not working nearly hard enough for their money, or they'd have some goddamned respect for it.

Clearly the coronavirus needs to be more selective.

Animal Farm

Remember back in 2008, when a worthless piece of shit tried to bamboozle anyone who was dumb enough to listen that a couple of giant knee-grows mugged her, held her down and carved a reverse "B" in her cheek to compel her to vote for Obama? Good times.

Cut to this magical plague year, and here come the credulous dupes at 'murka's flagship bumwipe, to breathlessly share with us the terrible tale of some asshole farm-subsidy welfare-cheat in Nebraska. Agriculture researcher Dr. Sarah Taber has a great explainer thread on this nonsense.

Seriously, boycott the fucking Times already. Every dollar you give them is better used to wad up and flush down your toilet, or line your cat box. Even on the off chance that Farmer Ted's story is remotely true (because yeah, Nebraska Antifa decided that the best strategic use of gaining traction in a +20 R state is to destroy a half-million dollar farm machine), that is clearly not the thrust of the headline. This is just the millionth Cletus safari, gussied up slightly for horse-race coverage.

The only people they're fooling with this shit are their subscribers. Do your duty, America -- flush twice.

Anxiety Attack

I carry a bunch of anger with me. Who I carry it for rotates. -- Daniel Woodrell, Give Us a Kiss

People are apparently getting "anxious" in the final hours, and while it's understandable it's also unproductive. This and five bucks will get you a cup of coffee, but here is my humble advice:  turn that anxiety into anger, and keep it like a grudge. Win, lose, or draw -- whether Biden wins with a 2:1 majority, a ten-million PV lead, and sixty Senate seats, or if Trump somehow manages to cheat and steal and bluff his way through this like he has everything else in his rotten excuse for a life, keep that anger.

Wherever you are, a year from now, five years, ten years, have that anger close by, always there to remind how you felt all year long, how you've felt since 2015. Use it constructively. Maybe you decide to take action at some point -- run for local office, lead a boycott, write off the poisonous people in your life, or just make sure to show up and vote every single time, right on down to dog-catcher.

Beyond that, there's not much you can control. That's why you're anxious. But regardless of the outcome, just as we are approaching the end of one thing -- either the end of a kleptocratic scumbag, or the end of what was left of our hollowed-out husk of a republic -- we are embarking on the beginning of another major project.

And whether that new thing is the long, slow process of trying to restore some semblance of governance and justice to a foul machine, or watching things slide inexorably into violent despotism, the thing for us as individuals is the same:  insulate yourself as much as you possibly can from the decisions of bitter, stupid people who can't let go of their sad, pinched view of the world.

There's nothing you can tell them. There is no point in arguing with them, and there is no compromise to be reached with fascists or supporters of fascism. There is only removing ourselves from their equations as much as possible, and moving forward.

The only things anyone "knows" ahead of time is that it's about to get worse and better. Beyond that, the order and specifics are always in a to-be-determined status. Should the expected take place, and Biden wins by a healthy margin, and the Dems flip the Senate back to sanity (Senaty? Sorry, it was there.), we should all resolve to communicate only with the Democratic politicians, and exhort them to move swiftly and deliberately. Time will be of the essence.

Other than that? You don't owe your Trump-supporting relatives and acquaintances shit. No gloating, no exulting, no "I told you so" or some lame more-in-sorrow-than-pity reconciliation, nor any pwning of conservaturds.

Just this:  they made their decision freely and of their own volition. They have their own bullshit justifications and rationalizations, but after all that is said and done and shat onto the lawn, they know what they supported. Understand them for who and what they are, and understand that it isn't your job to find some half-baked rapprochement with that. They have to take the step of doing the work on themselves to understand just how low they've sunk. You can't do it for them, just like you can't make someone quit their substance abuse habit or gambling addiction or whatever.

My gift for prognostication is not what it once was (and it was never much to begin with), so I'm loath to make rash predictions. I would say there is some non-zero chance for each of the four outcomes I outlined in the previous post. (In order from #1 to #4, something like: 10%, 10%, 5%, 75%.)

More broadly speaking, I think it's really down to one of two possible outcomes:  the statistically likely one is the Biden landslide, but the possibility of it being close enough for Trump to cheat and steal cannot be dismissed. I think we've seen entirely enough he can't do that scenarios where he does that and gets away with it, to just ignore that likelihood. A cornered animal with zero scruples will use everything they have to avoid their fate, and he does have some considerable tools to delay and deny and poison the well just enough. And he knows no one in either party will stop him from trying.

But let's not engage in last-minute doom-scrolling. Let's err on the side of cautious optimism and say that the landslide holds, that it gets called early and the spread only increases from there. That still means two months of Trump's wrecking crew stealing everything that isn't nailed down, pardoning every scumbag criminal enabler, leaving as big a mess as possible, etc. That still means the Democrats will have to be actively nudged by their constituents away from any sort of rapprochement whatsoever with the traitorous fascists across the aisle.

Again, use that anger and keep it by your side, like a faithful pet that you can nurture forever. Use it to remind yourself that who they are right now is who they were all along, and who they will always be until they resolve to change. Character is fate, as Heraclitus knew 2,500 years ago, and so people either recognize their issues and choose to deal with them, or not. The rest of us always have at least some ability to walk away from them.

Game Plan

People look to me and say, "Is the end near? Is this the final day? What's the future of mankind?"
How would I know? I got left behind.
Everyone goes through changes, looking to find the truth.
Don't look to me for answers. Don't ask me -- I don't know. -- Ozzy Osbourne, I Don't Know

As we start to wind down this wondrous Year Of Winning, waiting with bated breath to see if the national fever has a temporary break, it's a good time for all of us to take stock in what is, rather than what should be, and what we want for ourselves and our loved ones in the months and years to come, regardless of next week's (next month's perhaps) outcome.

Start with what you know, what you can control. We can't control -- or even affect -- the ongoing dumbassification of America, as Chuck D memorably put it long ago. All we control is what we do. Do we still support a shitty corporate media, while complaining about it? Then we're each doing our small part to perpetuate the problem, right?

Look, I enjoy the writing of Paul Krugman and Jamelle Bouie and such like, and they've done some remarkable in-depth pieces lately. But if my New York Times subscription dollar also goes for the upkeep and maintenance of useless hacks like Maggie Haberman and Elaina Plott, and hopeless, sloppy thinkers such as MoDo and Bobo and Bretbug, then it might be time to spend my news dollar more wisely. You'd be surprised what conclusions the Punch Sulzbergers of the world will reach when the invisible hand of the free market gets jammed up their asses for a surprise exam.

And if they reach the wrong conclusions and keep the hacks and cut the good ones loose, then you drew the right conclusion about the Times in the first place. The good ones will find a way, just as they did when Deadspin got ripped apart, root and branch, and David Roth and Drew Magary and the rest of them went and founded Defector. Now that, I can tell you first-hand, is money well spent.

I mean, you saw the Plott thing, right? The usual hackjob Cletus safari, this time about white college-educated Trump voters in Georgia. Turns out one of these plain folks on the street was the president of a Young Republicans chapter (cell, pod, whatever -- the guy's in his fuckin' 30s, which tells you he's really there to wow some coed chooch with how he rolls with Dear Leader's inner circle or some shit), and another was a paid Republicon consultant.

The 'splainin' and backpedaling was as hilarious as you might assume, but here's the thing --  this is something that a professional journamalist would have been fired for in the past, and the Times has done this shit multiple times before on previous Cletus safaris. They frequently talk with county GOP chairs in Indiana and Kansas without identifying them as such. These articles aren't just tedious and unseemly, the lack of sourcing on them frequently puts them in the "journalistic malpractice" category.

I should be clearer -- what Plott did was not any sort of error or mistake or oversight, though it's being retroactively characterized that way. She wrote for the Atlantic before going to the Times. She knows what she's doing, and if she doesn't then maybe she needs a couple years stringing for some podunk rag so she figures out one of the cardinal tenets of decent journalism. This should be unacceptable, yet it has become routine. Plott is a self-professed Ann Coulter fan-girl. She knows exactly what she did, and why she did it.

But the fix is in, and it's mostly because these trust-fund babies need their fucking horse-race, the hell with the consequences for actual human beings.

Broadly speaking, there are four possible outcomes for next week:

1. Trump wins, GOP retains Senate. Game over. Either get your papers in order and start looking abroad, or learn to deal with the reality of it. The people who have been warning of "creeping authoritarianism" are, it will turn out, underselling it by a country mile. It will be Trump Unchained; it will spell the end of what's left of this rotted, doddering empire. A.R. Moxon has a fantastic thread enumerating the likely results. For the rest of my lifetime and probably yours, it will be a continued decline in every aspect -- economic, cultural, diplomatic, and more.
   
2. Biden wins, GOP retains Senate. The slide into collapse will be slower, but no less sure. The remaining Goopers may half-heartedly pretend to reject Spray-Tan Satan and all his nefarious works, but only a complete moron could fail to see that Trump has been the culmination of the party, that everything that has taken place has not been in spite of him, but because he and they are perfectly aligned. They'll do everything they can to hamstring Biden and grease the skids for Josh Hawley, who is slightly more intelligent than Trump, but whose religious fanaticism is much more sincere.
3. Trump wins, Dems flip Senate. This scenario is highly unlikely, but then look what we thought was impossible just four years ago. This would actually be better than the second outcome, as a Democratic Senate could effectively tie Trump's tiny, tiny hands in many areas. Whether they actually would, though, is as always a matter of fanciful speculation. Most of these assholes couldn't find their balls in a dark room with both hands and a flashlight. But the possibility would at least be there.
4. Biden wins, Dems flip Senate. Obviously the best possible outcome, and one with a pretty fair chance of actually occurring. Since we've just come to passively accept that Trump will cheat or steal a close election, this scenario has to be assumed to be at least something of a blowout -- roughly a 2:1 EC spread, and probably about a 53-47 D-R spread (including Sanders and King on the D side). This gives the Dems a clear mandate to start unfucking everything Trump and his scumbag administration has done. Again, whether they will actually take yes for an answer and act quickly and decisively is another story. It's not an exaggeration to say that the next couple decades (at the very least) in this country will be directly determined by the choices they make in this scenario.

For what it's worth, despite my usual cranky pessimism, I am still cautiously optimistic that the last outcome will be the one that happens. Seventy million people have already voted, obviously an unprecedented number. We've all seen the videos of lines in state after state -- not just in corrupt shitholes like Georgia and Texas, but even in "safe" states like New York. This nation's voting system, state by state, is a fucking disgrace and an embarrassment, criminally so, and it should be one of the top three priorities for a Biden administration to address.

But it's probably safe to assume that most people do not wait for hours in line to vote for the politicians who made them wait for hours in line to vote. You know?

(California, I am pleased to report, seems to have a voting system that actually functions pretty well. I voted three weeks ago, and have already checked and verified that my vote was received and tallied. As I always point out, one in eight Americans live here, so as much as outliers like to complain -- and like any other state, California certainly has its problems -- this is something that is working at a very large scale. Maybe it's not the smartest idea in the world to have essentially fifty different voting systems. Maybe it's time to standardize as much of this as possible, and not leave substantial swaths of the country at the mercy of backdoored Serbian software with no paper trails.)

Prison for praise is not worth thinking
Sin is still in and our ballots are shrinking
So unleash the dogs - the only solution
Forgive and forget, fuck no
I'm talking about a revolution -- Corrosion of Conformity, Vote With a Bullet

Enough people seem to be ready to change the channel on this reality shitshow, and that's at least something. But we all have to do this with the realization that, even in a 538-0 EC massacre, an 80-20 popular vote split, even if that were to occur, the work still needs to be done, and it's just beginning.

And I wouldn't discount the very real probability -- fairly low but not insubstantial -- that the Supreme Court will steal it for him, right out in the open. Brett "Rapebro McGambledrunk" Kavanaugh's specious, nakedly partisan ruling essentially boils down to states can count ballots as long as they're Republicon ballots, and again, they're not even trying to hide this. Kavanaugh, Roberts, and Barrett (Ofjesse) all cut their teeth helping Fredo Arbusto steal the 2000 election from one Albert Arnold Gore, Junior.

(Knowing what you now know, you think maybe Gore should have carried his home state, or picked a decent running mate, or maybe fought harder for Florida? It really isn't 100% Thanksralph's fault here, not by a long shot. There's a lot of blame to go around.)

Political common taters across the spectrum are fond of pointing the finger at this or that party or elected representative as some sort of strategic or logistical fulcrum by which legislative impunity or perfidy gets leveraged. But every elected representative, no matter how great or awful, is an accurate reflection of the people who voted for them -- and of the people who couldn't be bothered to show up to vote against them.

This is the foundational problem with democracy, it turns out -- in a nation teeming with Idiocracy rejects, the fact of the matter is that no matter how smart or engaged you might be, the system is always at the mercy of the dumbest, most inconsiderate dipshit in the class.

Just like real life -- the last time you drove somewhere, it wasn't the 95% of drivers who watched where they were going and paid attention who you noticed, it was that asshole that merged right on your front bumper and hit the brakes. It's that jerkoff that takes two or three parking spots because he's just that fuckin' special. It's the tool in Costco that leaves their flat-cart across the middle of the aisle while they waddle away for "just a second" to find that five-gallon bucket of mayonnaise.

So it is with the process of collectively determining who might be the best-suited to manage the nation's well-being, to maintain its increasingly tenuous standing in an interdependent world that has already begun shifting its focus to the burgeoning Indian Ocean nations. It's the "undecided" voters, these fickle doofuses trudging along in "swing" states, who can't muster much in the way of empirical facts, but do understand all too well the disproportionate power they wield just because they live in Ohio or Florida.

(I don't know if we'll ever be rid of the damned Electoral College, but it would be the biggest favor we ever did ourselves, regardless of political affiliation. The look on my few remaining Republicon friends' faces when I remind them that, since they're in California, their votes don't really count, is priceless.

But the fact of the matter is, the only people who still support keeping the EC are the same people who support all the various, nefarious forms of voter suppression across the country. It all boils down to the same thing:  they're afraid of a fair fight. That's all there is to any of this. The fact of the matter is that there are some people who believe that rather than one citizen equals one vote, that one dollar or one acre equals a vote. Wonder who they keep getting that notion from.)

From time to time throughout this wondrous year, I have mentioned that I will be shutting down the blog at the end of the year. This was a decision I had made in the Before Times, before the #TrumpPlague took over everyone's lives, whether or not it actually infected them. I would modify that ever so slightly and say that there is a slim chance -- like five to ten percent -- that in the instance of Outcome #4 listed above (Biden wins; Dems flip Senate) I might instead take a brief hiatus and then return in some limited format, a couple posts a month or something.

For a while I thought about starting a Substack and at least collecting beer money for my cranky perambulations, but the fact is that it's increasingly difficult to keep writing about the same things over and over again. Turns out the daily spew from a hideous rage-goblin gets old after a while. And win or lose, the fucker ain't going away until the bitter end.

Trump has indeed sucked most of the oxygen out of the room and made it all about him, as he does, but there's more to it than that. Frankly, it's beyond demoralizing to be reminded on a daily basis that at somewhere between a third and half of your fellow citizens are fine with all this winning, that they want more of it, now. It's almost as demoralizing to consider that the putative opposition party has to be cajoled and wheedled into doing the bare minimum -- and frequently not even that -- to protect basic constitutional norms, to at least try to uphold the remaining integrity of the document they swore to protect and defend.

Even in the best case scenario, the winning party will have to be reminded constantly that there is no "returning" to a pre-Trump "normal," that those days are gone for good, and they can't get there from here. And while I get that all of us have been exhausted by this ridiculous toddler and his scummy family and henchmen, I frankly don't trust anyone beyond the usual "political junkie" (a pejorative I've always despised, connoting as it does an unreasonable fixation on, you know, what the people who make decisions that affect everyone's lives are doing and saying) class to remain engaged.

This thing will not work -- will grind to a fucking halt, I promise you -- if enough people are not willing to stick with it, to show up and vote every time, to make sure they're registered, to pay attention to who's doing what. As long as we have a critical mass of people who can only (maybe) be motivated by well-meaning pods of strangers, canvassing neighborhoods like Jehovah's Witness to plead with their fellow citizens to do their bare basic minimum civic duty, we're going to keep coming back to this.

Except the next Trump won't be a slobby, ludicrous buffoon. We all know that, but it's as if we're all waiting for someone else to do something about it. And it's true that as individuals, we have been rendered powerless in most respects.

But one thing you do have control over is the realization that the American political media -- with a few notable exceptions, but by and large -- is nothing more than a giant PR machine for the psychotic billionaires who really run this joint. Frank Zappa once said that "politics is the entertainment arm of industry," and boy was he ever right about that. There is not a lot of daylight between the coverage of most of those shows, and that of the Kardashians.

(Again, you can only generalize so far, but it tells you a lot about a certain number and type of person that anyone at all is still paying attention to those useless dunces. They can't just go rent their fucking island for their birthday and leave the rest of us alone, they have to rub everyone's nose in it. For the love of all that is profane and unholy, change the goddamned channel on these people, none of whom have ever done a single thing to merit the slightest bit of attention.)

So boycott the political media, boycott their sponsors, tell them what you're doing and why. If enough people do that, they will have to listen. CNN would be a great place to start -- CEO Jeff Zucker is one of the two people most responsible for Trump (Mark Burnett being the other so, uh, you might want to boycott The Voice while you're at it). The current dingbat posing as press suckaterry for this human centipede of an administration got her start as the token yammering conservatard on their stupid panel shows.

I think most normal people would prefer to just cast their vote and then get back to their lives. That is not feasible for at least the next few election cycles, if ever. Unless you stock the entire Democratic party with AOC clones, people who are passionate and smart and actually give a shit, and who you don't have to watch 24-7, this is how it is for now. We will have to keep Biden and Harris to their word; we will have to make our senators step up their game and get shit done, to put country not only party, but over whatever remnants of "collegiality" they want to cling to.

There are no good Republicons. They must be crushed. That's all there is to it.

The choice here is flawed but obvious -- fascism or not-fascism. White supremacy and theocratic authoritarianism with a corporate veneer, or not. I can give you a dozen things that annoy me about Joe Biden, but as P.J. O'Rourke memorably said about Hillary Clinton, Biden is "wrong within normal parameters."

If there's a more perfect metaphor for everything Trump has done in his life -- not just as chief executive, but all along -- it was last night. He held another super-spreader rally in Omaha -- where exactly one electoral vote is at stake -- and thousands of attendees, many of them elderly and enfeebled, were stranded for hours in the 31-degree night. At least seven of these idiot codgers were taken to the hospital for hypothermia.

To which I say, Good. Serves them right. I wish them all the very worst things in life, for however much remains for them. If they still want to vote for the geezer freezer after that, they deserve every single bit of the predictable consequences.

It's important to see things and people as they really are, and to act accordingly. Not react -- you don't need to run out and tell all your relatives and co-workers to go fuck themselves. That accomplishes nothing. It means to understand them, perhaps better than they are willing to consider the situation and understand themselves on honest terms, and take it from there. Maybe they can be reasoned with, maybe not. If not, just walk away, don't engage. Not worth your time to try to reason with people who have chosen to live in their own reality.

And in that instance, it's also an important fact to keep in mind -- Trump is an authoritarian fascist in nature and character, and will always behave as such. He cannot do otherwise. His party has chosen to ride along as far as the road takes them. The people who show up to the rallies have chosen the same path. They are all complicit in what has happened, and what is yet to happen. This is important to keep in mind.

Consider the following sketch:  two young men, Jeff and Larry, pull up to a convenience store. Jeff is driving, Larry is going to enter the store and rob it.

EXT. SHOT -- STORE PARKING LOT:  Car pulls abruptly into parking space near entrance. LARRY hops out and heads through the door.

INT. -- CONVENIENCE STORE:  LARRY looks around the store, sees no other customers, approaches counter and pulls a gun on CLERK.

LARRY:  Give me everything in the register and the safe.

CLERK [opening register]:  I can't open the safe.

LARRY [takes register cash, clearly dismayed at the measly amount]:  This all you got?

CLERK [bemused]:  No one pays with cash anymore. You know what year it is, right?

LARRY [glares, pissed]:  Smart-ass motherfucker! [shoots CLERK twice, heads out door and back to car]

JEFF:  You have a gun? That wasn't part of the plan.

LARRY:  What'd you think I was gonna rob him with, a spoon? Get the fuck out of here!

Now, at that point, Jeff has a choice to make. He can get out and run, and when the authorities eventually catch up to him he can hopefully convince them that he really didn't know Larry had a gun, or that he would shoot the clerk. Or he can put the car into gear and start driving away, which would immediately make him an accomplice, just as surely as if he'd killed that clerk himself. As far as the law is concerned, Jeff is a mur-diddly-urderer, pure and simple.

So it is with anyone still willing to support Trump, and especially the people attending the rallies, paid or not. There's still time to get out and run, but they choose not to. This is entirely of their own volition, and pretending that some Russian micro-targeted ad campaign bamboozled them somehow is just about the dumbest thing to believe in. They know what they're doing, what they're supporting, and why they're there. He's spreading hate, lies, fear, violence, and disease, and they want all of that, as if it's the purest heroin, injected straight into the collapsed veins of their arms. They can't get enough of it. If someone created Trump suppositories, these rubes would kill each other with their bare hands just for the right to stick one up their gaping assholes.

[Note to self:  Possible marketing idea -- Trump suppositories. Soaked in oxy or fentanyl maybe? Cheap vodka? Red white and blue, or would color really matter once they've been used? The whole family, or just the big guy?]

How many times can you hear it? It goes on all day long.
Everyone knows everything, and no one's ever wrong -- until later.... -- Rush, Show Don't Tell

It's important to see them for who they are, and to act accordingly -- not to confront them directly, since we've already established that as a complete waste of time, but to find ways to counteract them, to offset the things they do and say.

But there's a difference between paying sufficient attention and showing up as needed, and immersing ourselves in the arcane strategies of the weasel-faced consultants who appear like young Jimmy the Greek types, to offer their pigskin prognostications. Those people are only talking to each other, and to potential clients. They are not talking to you. Ignore them.

I made a decision to see this through partly out of some perverse sense of "duty," to make it to the end of this dismal movie, to watch how the fifty-car pile-up turns out, etc. That is definitely a huge factor in this. I've watched every scene of this stinker so far, I might as well see the end.

But there's also the realization that there really is no end, not a clean, defined one anyway. Either Trump wins and we're done, as far as an America that suits the majority of its inhabitants, or the Democrats win and we get to watch their feckless dithering for a couple years. Lather, rinse, repeat.

The only end that really matters is how each of us can begin turning away from this ongoing wreck, this sham of a government, and get back to fulfilling what used to be important to us individually. Surely we must be motivated by something more than tuning in for this week's scaremongering. I think a lot of us have lost some of that along the way. There are times when I think I have lost that, and other times when I look back and find a random past post to review and think, okay, that was pretty damned good. I caught something there.

There will be a few posts to wrap up the end of the election cycle, the year, etc. Stay tuned, stay frosty. Keep your fingers crossed for the big day. I'm always glad to be wrong about this sort of thing -- maybe it'll all work out. See you next Tuesday.