Free Downloads Tuesday

Folks, if you want to show some support for our humble efforts here, and not spend any of your hard-earned cash in the process, do me a solid and grab yourself some free downloads this Tuesday, April 1. All four Hammer e-books for Kindle will be available for free download, as will all six Purple Tiger Guitar books (available on the AStore page in the upper right sidebar).

So take a second, drop in and grab some free reading material, leave a review if you're inclined, spread the word, yada yada. As always, your participation and support are appreciated.

[Update 4/1/14 11:15 PDT: Well, that was something. I suppose I could and should do some statistical analysis on this phenomenon, perhaps later in the year with a larger sample size. But today's little free download experiment ran the gamut from sublime to ridiculous -- the 5 main PTG books (the 6th book is actually a 99-cent sampler of one of the other 5) were downloaded over 2,000 times each, with Practice Power going over the 3,000 mark. (To give you an idea, generally a free download day will result in a given book being downloaded roughly 100-120 times that day, around 150 or so on a Friday, Saturday, or Sunday.) The grand total was just a shade under 12,000 books for the day. Pretty fucking cool.

At the other end of the spectrum, none of the four Hammer books (admittedly, they are dated even before they are published, in terms of content and even titles) even made it out of double digits. There was a time when I would have taken it personally and gotten butt-hurt about it, but frankly, as the two or three people who have checked out Lucky '13 found out if they read far enough into it, this blog will probably close up shop at the end of 2014. There are multiple reasons for this, many of which I've gone over in here from time to time. But the bottom line is a combination of lack of time and lack of response -- in other words, if there were more response, I'd make more time, but as today showed, a guitar site I started less than two years ago, and post to less frequently than I have here for nearly a full decade now, just moved about 200 times as much product. For free.

When you can't even give it away anymore, maybe that's a sign. Maybe I should have put stories and photos of my pets in the Hammer books. We'll touch a bit more in depth on this particular dynamic down the road at some point. I am still hoping to close out strong with three final Hammer books -- an Assholes of 2014 shorty, a 2014 essay compilation (with new intros), and a huge retrospective encompassing the entire decade of the Hammer's run (I'd really like to throw some of the comment dialogues into that last one, one thing that has made this blog stand out over many others is the quality of so many of the regular commenters here). We'll see how the rest of this year goes, but whatever of those I actually do, I will be promoting early and often.

Mockalypse on Kindle

[ad copy written by Kanye West]

Hey kids, are you wanting the koolest, hippest kicks in the scizzene? Then check out tha top link on tha right sidebar there for my bizzook, Mockalypse, available now on the Kindle. Get tha thang Justin Bieber wishes he had, get Mockalypse! Bitchez be follin' y'all 'round fa daze, like my gurl Kim Whadashian! Mockalypse fa shizzle, muthafucka!

I dunno, seems like something Kanye would say, n'est-ce pas?

Animal Farm and Other News

By popular demand, here are more photos of Dexter the Giant Wonder Kitten and Poppie the Ancient Watchdog:

Dexter, as you might be able to discern from his serious look, wants some canned food atop the kibble. Poppie's tail, despite her serious look, is actually in mid-wag. Again, Dexter is not even a year old yet, and already weighs in at just over 15 pounds. No, he has never had even a single table scrap.


At right is my back field; a neighbor has a small herd that rotates through nearby fields for grazing now and then. The cows are very enjoyable and peaceful to watch. Most of them are tame and let you pet them and feed them by hand. The black one laying down just left of center is actually an alarmingly tame water buffalo.

 





Dexter reeeeallly wants that can.

In other news, I'd like to thank everyone who took the time to download Mockalypse and 12 in '12 during the free promo week. We had a few hundred downloads, which was more than I had anticipated, so hopefully that translates into some momentum going forward. We'll see. But thanks again regardless, the support is much appreciated.

Mockalypse / 12 in '12 Free Promo Week

OK, kids, here's the obligatory leg-humping for Mockalypse and 12 in '12, available now on Kindle. The free promo week is almost done; 12 in '12 is free through Friday, and Mockalypse is free through Saturday. Both will remain free through the Kindle Lending Library if you have Amazon Prime.

If you haven't done so already, and even if you did download the PDF version of Mockalypse previously, please take a moment and download these Kindle versions while they're free. While they do consist of previously released material, both ebooks have new forewords, and Mockalypse features a brief snippet of new commentary introducing each post in the collection.

Having the #4 and #5 niche rankings sounds nice, but out of 7 total in the free side of the niche -- eh, not so much. But getting some ranking going during the free week can generate momentum afterward, once hopefully more people get wind. I mean, look at the crap on the pay side of that niche there. I know I'm smarter, funnier, better looking, and just righter than [rolling eyes] Glenn Beck and Greg Gutfeld, or some guy recycling Ronald Reagan schtick.

I guess what I'm saying is, if you don't grab these free ebooks, and tell everyone you know to grab them, the terrorists win. Or at least smarmy douchebags like Greg Gutfeld and Glenn Beck, and the butt-baby you just know they're hiding in their kidnapped hitchhiker sex dungeon. They win. We can't have that, can we?

And these are completely DIY projects, providing a real learning experience for me in formatting (for general aesthetics, as well as specifically for Kindle), graphic design (admittedly crude for a first time), and getting everything squared to Kindle Direct Publishing specs. Hell, there may be another ebook project in giving a play-by-play of that whole process, from inception to completion.

As I've mentioned here and there over the past few months, I have been building another website, dedicated to rock and metal guitar playing and technique, and I am finishing up a couple of instructional ebooks to put up on KDP for a reasonable price, as well as a lot of free material and resources on the site. I'll be posting more on that site, and the projects, over the next week, if any of you are interested. Stay tuned!

Mockalypse for Kindle

Check out the free promo week for 12 in '12 (Monday 4/8 through Friday 4/12) and Mockalypse (4/9-13). If you have Amazon Prime you can borrow both books from the Kindle lending library for free at any time. I'll fix the ad widget at the top right of the page soon as I figure out what the deal is with it, but the link works. If you don't own a Kindle, you can get the Kindle for PC app for free.

Even if you downloaded the Mockalypse PDF back when it was released in January, please download both of these links during the free promo period. The rankings will help once the promo is done. Tell a friend -- or better yet, a mortal enemy. And if you have the time, feel free to leave a review on the Amazon page.

I'll be posting reminders throughout the promo week, along with my usual nonsense. As always, thanks in advance for your support.

Mockalypse / 12 in '12 Free Kindle Promo Update

I've set up free promos this week for Mockalypse and 12 in '12 at the Kindle Store. (The books will normally sell for $3.99 and 99 cents, respectively.) The 12 in '12 promo starts tomorrow morning and runs through Friday, and the Mockalypse promo will start Tuesday and run through Saturday. I will post links later tonight, when I've tested the 12 in '12 download link and have confirmed that the free promo has begun.

As I mentioned before, even if you already downloaded the PDF version of Mockalypse before, please take a minute and grab the free Kindle versions. What we're seeking here is ranking on the list, and every download will help immensely. Tell someone you know who might like the books. If you have the time, leave a review -- good or bad, as they say, as long as you spell the name right.

And if you didn't get the PDF when it was offered, I hope you'll give Mockalypse a try. Yes, it is a collection of posts from last year, but each post has a little intro written for it, so there is actually some new material there. I've been doing a lot of research on self-publishing over the last year, and it will be really interesting to see how this goes. It was fun and educational for me to put these books together.

So one more time (until I post again later tonight):  Please download both books. Please tell anyone you think might be interested. Spam open threads at other sites if need be (I will be doing that also, but I can only hit so many). Leave reviews at the Amazon pages.

Thanks.

Mockalypse / 12 in '12 Update

Mockalypse is up on Amazon in Kindle format now, as is the Kindle Single version of Assholes of 2012, now called 12 in '12. Soon as I get the KDP free promo week set up, I will post links, stay tuned.

Mockalypse Update

Just about done reformatting Mockalypse for Kindle. It should be posted at Amazon and ready for action before the end of the weekend (there is typically a 12-hour waiting period between when you submit the book file, and when it is published with its own page). The extended Assholes of 2012 post is also being published, as a $.99 Kindle Single, and retitled 12 in '12.

So far the Kindle Direct Publishing is very easy to use, so if you have some great stories itching to be published, and your doctor can't prescribe an ointment [Ed.:  Hi-yoooo!], I recommend giving it a shot. KDP Select is an exclusive deal, however, so the PDF file at the Mockalypse site is suspended indefinitely.

KDP allows for 5-day free promos, so once the page links are up and running, and I have the free promos up and tested, the links will be posted here. If you didn't grab a PDF download before, I hope you'll consider grabbing one or both of the Kindle files. Again, the free promo should run for five days (shooting for April 1-5), I will post details once everything's going, hopefully by Monday (an appropriate enough day for that sort of nonsense, coincidentally enough).

Even if you previously downloaded the Mockalypse PDF, I am requesting that you download both of the Kindle files. The download hits will generate ranking, which will turn into sales once the promo is over. Better yet, if you have the time, post a review -- be honest, do not feel like you have to be nice. If it sucks, say so, just be complete and say why it sucks. The main thing is getting some word of mouth. I will be spamming open threads on other blogs as opportunities arise, and I hope some of you will be kind enough have enough time on your hands to spread the word far and wide.

I have another couple of projects (which have nothing to do with anything here) underway and/or nearing completion, which I'll write about here in the upcoming weeks, as they become ready for prime time. I've quoted Doug Rushkoff before, about the goal for the modern microeconomy (P2P)being ecological in nature (especially with technological advancements spurring more innovation and better quality projects and products). This is where I think that theory gets tested, and the results will be interesting no matter what. Stay tuned.

Common Taters

Shut up, you talk too much.

Seriously, leave a freakin' comment once in a while, would it kill ya? "How's it hangin', Heywood?" "Oh, ya know, long and hairy and hard to carry," that sort of thing. Or talk to each other, like I hear they do at other places.

Maybe I should just focus on saying deliberately controversial, obtuse, Fixed Noise type opinions, just to piss people off. "Lance Armstrong is just misunderstood!" or "Soledad O'Brien is stealing my soul through the teevee!". Things like that. Then people might start confusing me with Tracy Morgan. That's when shit starts getting interesting.

Or hey, have you downloaded and read my totally free book, Mockalypse? Did you like it, did you hate it, did you print it out just so you could wipe your ass with it? Is it the 51st shade of grey? I've received some interesting comments so far, but you can't have too many.

Keep Stealing

Just a friendly reminder to please check out Mockalypse, leave some feedback, spread the word, etc. It's no Fifty Shades of Grey, but there may be some bondage. Tune in and find out for yourself!

Steal This Book!

Okay, folks, here's one (and in fact, by far the smallest) of several projects I've been working on over the last few months. What you see is the cover to an e-book I was hoping to wind up (given its title and cover imagery) yesterday, but as I am not a graphic designer by training, and am still learning how to use GIMP, it's a day late and a dollar short.

(By the way, if you're just starting out with designing graphics for your own stuff, don't know where to turn, and can't afford -- or don't even know how to choose -- commercial software, I can't recommend GIMP highly enough. Such a cool program. There is a learning curve, but a ton of tutorials out there. Did I mention it's free? Awesome. The internets are a wonderful place. Go check it out now, and block out a few hours just to mess with the many cool features it comes loaded with. Disclaimer:  I have had zero contact with anyone from GIMP, nor am I being compensated in any way to talk about it. I just think it's really cool.)

Anyhoo, although Blogger has made the attempt to bump up its features, it still apparently does not allow you to upload PDF files. Weird, right? No worries, friends 'n' neighbors, Uncle Heywood found a workaround. You can go here to download your very own copy of this fine retrospective of the year that just transpired. Wasn't it just terrific? Yes it was, and you can relive it right now, by electronically thumbing through a couple dozen posts handpicked by yours truly as best representative of the year, and of my jabbering about it.

Now, I know you're all chomping at the bit to swipe your Visa cards and punch in some phat numbers, you just want to know what I'm demanding for such a hot commodity. I decided to try out the model used by Radiohead for their In Rainbows album from a few years ago -- I'll let you, Tonstant Weader, determine what this hot mess is worth to you. Go ahead and download it, give it a spin, and it's up to you whether it's worth five bucks or five cents. Or nothing at all. There's a PayPal link at the upper right of this page, as well as at the download page.

There are a couple things I do ask of you, and they are free, and will take only a modest amount of your sweet time:  One is that, whether you love it, hate it, or couldn't give two lonesome shits about it, you drop by and share some feedback in the comments thread. (Or email me your comments or suggestions; I do actually check the GMail account pretty regularly these days, and I will respond.) Love one of the selected posts? Awesome. Hate the cover art? That's fine too.

The second thing is that you tell a few people (I'm hoping at least two or three for each of you) about it. A comment on a site you frequent, where you think like-minded folks might be interested. That sort of thing. Just spread the word here and there in your daily rounds. It's not that I don't want your money, but right now I'd like to see how much interest can be generated. If that E.L. Fudge broad can turn Twilight fanfic into a kajillionty-pound cottage e-income, this should hopefully generate a ripple somewhere.

Just to be clear about what this book is, it's a compendium of posts from this glorious year. There is some new material, in the form of an introduction, as well as introductory material for each post. Collectively, I think (and hope) that it stands as a representative sample of what this blog has attempted to cover, and what hopefully makes it a bit different from other blogs. I dunno, you tell me.

Couple of final points:

• This project is what I would term a "first-final" draft, meaning that there may be a few minor, cosmetic changes forthcoming over the next week or so. Again, due to the self-imposed deadline, and the fact that I am something of a control freak on creative projects, I may revise the cover art a bit, reformat the main text slightly, create a back cover page, screw around with headers or footers, things like that. But the content itself is absolutely final as is right now, set in stone, will not be changed unless I spot a typo (after reviewing the whole thing at least five times in the past two weeks).
• I want to apologize in advance to any of my fellow bloggers, because while I will try to keep it to a bare minimum, I may occasionally barge into their open threads and pimp this thing. Again, my goal here is pure notoriety; I want as many people as possible to check it out -- and if they've never been here before and don't know what to expect, so much the better.

So that's about it for now. Please check it out, grab a copy, give me your feedback, tell at least a few other people about it. I have some more thoughts and concepts about self-publishing, which I plan to discuss in one or several upcoming posts, but this is a start.