Monday, March 02, 2009

Teabag Etiquette: Notes and Errata

Edroso's column profiling wishful thinking and charitable head-counting of these stupid tea parties over the weekend reminds us of several important things, contra the teabaggers' (and some of the cap-blasting mouth-breathers cluttering up Roy's comments as well) more strident claims:

  • "Taxation Without Representation". We've seen this phrase on some of their signs, and indeed the second comment in the column conflates it with the "no birth certificate" myth. But that first one -- I don't think that phrase means what these fucking retards think it means. The original tea partiers lived under a monarchic (albeit a comparatively weakened post-Restoration version) system. The brave suburban culture warriors do not. There was an election. It was in all the liberal papers and everything.

    And Obama's approval rating went up, way up, and way over theirs, after the speech. Whether they like it or not, a majority -- an indisputable one, at that -- of Americans are still placing fault for missteps with the inept, dishonest financial weasels that wrecked the economy in the first place. "Taxation Without Representation", in other words, is not merely erroneous, it's completely meaningless here.

  • Nobody really cares what these dumb motherfuckers think anymore, to the extent that they do. They lost, and lost big. Of course, the 'tard doxologies require them to attribute that loss to inordinate Black Jesus love from twink libruls and their media butt-lovers, but 'taint so, fellas. People simply decided to try something different because their guy (love how they try to walk away from him now, he's theirs and always was) fucked the dog so royally.

    Their empty quackery has been repudiated. The media covered the CPAC and the lame tea-dumping stunts the way they occasionally cover Civil War re-enactors, or people who have eight-foot balls of twine in their garage they've been adding to for twenty-five years. Some things are simply too odd to ignore.

  • Not only are we all laughing at you, you ridiculous little conservatard assclowns, but we encourage you to keep this shit up. Every time you try to invoke some historical reference, you fuck it up. Every time you try to talk about something fact-based, as opposed to faith-based or freebased, you make it clear you don't know anything about anything.

    It's sort of an intellectual Affirmative Action at this point -- when you want a false premise, an argument loaded with straw-men, a completely botched understanding of basic principles, the same tired-ass Limbaugh/Coulter/Dennis Miller borscht-belt schtick to try to distract from the hackery, call a conservative. Their insularity and belligerent ignorance has turned their party into a political short bus. And it's never not going to be hilarious.

  • People who actually knew anything about "socialism" and wanted to be angry about it, would be much more angry about the past, present, and future downward socialization of costs on the backs of the reg'lar folk.

    All of it -- the tax cuts and giveaways, the environmental depredation and community health consequences, the soaring costs of health care and decent insurance coverage, the ever-expanding spread between the have-mores and the peons, the loosening of securitization regulations that led directly to the casino going broke, the bailouts, the bonuses, the insane CEO/exec compensation packages -- has already been coming out of these dipshits' hides for generations.

    But they're infinitely more worried about keeping people in their houses, never mind that letting them go under will directly impact everyone's property values and public services, just for starters. A founding father once famously said that if we don't hang together, we hang separately, yet they avoid that shit like the New Testament.

  • Funny how the capitalist leaders they claim to admire all seem to be fine with paying more taxes -- indeed, think it a small price to pay for the privilege of living in a society that afforded them their opportunities. Or better yet, how most of the people who bankroll these bullshit astroturf projects are not the captains of industry and innovative thinkers revered by the unwashed masses, but grasping trust-fund assholes bitterly clinging to the past glory of dead money.

Hypocrites, clowns, buffoons. If they keep this up the next four years, maybe they'll marginalize themselves once and for all, at least until Limpballs' eventual Deep-Fried Baconnaise Putsch which, like their ideology, ends in clogged arteries.

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