Wednesday, July 27, 2016

Concern Trollski Is Concerned

At what point have we all had enough of this lying cocksucker? I mean, seriously. This guy lies like most of us draw breath. Everything out of his mouth is a fucking lie, and as a topper, he invites the Russian FSB to continue hacking the email servers of American political figures.

Of course Putin likes Drumpf. Why wouldn't he? Not as a friend, mind you, but as a pigeon, someone whose bottomless hole of need and ego make him susceptible to even the lamest attempts at flattery. No, Donald, Putin never called you a genius -- you called you a genius.

Because that's what you are:  a whiny, lying, petulant man-baby, with tremendously small hands (the smallest hands, believe me, nobody's hands are smaller), small dick, and even smaller brain. Because you're a piece of shit who wants to wreck this country, and so Putin -- who actually is an intelligent adult -- sees in your pathetic psyche an easy opening to continue his espionage against this country. Good job, asshole. If we give you a pity trophy, will you just go the fuck away already? Everyone's a winner!

Maybe someone should hack Fuckface Von Clownstick's servers and release his fucking tax returns for him. In the meantime, fuck everyone who is continuing to support this lying, treasonous bastard.

Philly Cheese Stank, Day 2: Who Farted?

Cognitive dilemmas abound so far in Philly. You have the Bernie holdouts, resplendent in their anger, vowing to never vote for the she-creature. To listen to these people, you might almost be convinced that:
  • There is no difference at all between HFC and the raving clown Drumpf.
  • There are no other candidates at any other level running this year.
It's too bad Drumpf has poached the Stones' You Can't Always Get What You Want, because that song would be a little too on-the-nose for the last few hard-to-herd libs. Look, we get it, she's sub-optimal, not precisely what you wanted. The young holdouts have yet to learn that is exactly and always how politics works; the old hippies and Bernouts (see what I did there?) are past the point of caring anymore, as they only have a few election cycles remaining.

Now, when your own avatar, who also is past the age for selling out, grabs you by the lapels and says, "Look, motherfucker, this is how it is. Deal with it," then maybe it's time to listen. Your movement has revolved around one person, and one person only; you have failed to endorse or explain how anything will roll down to state or local levels. Who are they endorsing for Congress, for their state legislatures, etc.? No clues, but I don't even have to ask about the HFC side. Whatever else she is, she understands the whole picture, that being president doesn't matter if you're surrounded by a bunch of mouth-breathing teabaggers who refuse to work with you. Ask Hopey-Changey how that all worked out.

Tuesday, July 26, 2016

Philly Cheese Stank, Day 1: The Stankening

You'd think the horse-race media would at least shake up their own narrative, but that would give them too much credit. Just as last week's crapfest began with floor fighting among remaining holdouts, so the Dems' attempt at levity began with trying to tame the hostile Bernie bros. By the end of the night, things seemed to have calmed down, and by the end of the week the butt-hurt will be mostly forgotten, except with people who were probably never going to vote for HFC anyway, but look for it to be an underlying theme of commentary all week.

It was probably a good idea to get Warren and Sanders done on opening night, because despite both players' move toward comity, the fact is their central theses revolve around the theme of dire inequality and disparity. They are correct, of course, but such an argument comes directly at the expense of the structural integrity of the current and future leaders of the actual Democratic Party.

Freudian Slip

Okay, sorry to crack wise about what is clearly a tragedy, but the headline typo does point in the direction of the absurd:
Who knows? Maybe it was an angry elf.

Sunday, July 24, 2016

Fool's Gold

One problem with sociologists and poli-sci wonks trying to explain various "phenomena" is that it lets idiots off the hook, absolves them for accepting responsibility for being gullible:
But Brendan Nyhan, professor in the department of government at Dartmouth College, says that expecting the average voter to walk around with a head full of statistics is unreasonable.

"I'm sympathetic to people who don't know the facts, I think they're being let down by the media and politicians," he says. "I don't expect people to follow the latest crime statistics.

"People are drawing what are unfortunately reasonable inferences from the information they're hearing and seeing which unfortunately exaggerates the prevalence of crime and crime statistics."
Well, that's on them, then, isn't it? I don't think anyone expects anyone outside the world of academics and professional statisticians to be instantly conversant with arcane numbers and esoteric data. The expectation is:  This person is running for the leadership of your country, and they presented this as fact. Is it true, is there an informational source that I can check on The Google in 60-90 seconds? It doesn't matter if Drumpf or HFC says it, it can and should be checked out. Jesus H. Christ, people, this is not that fucking difficult.

In the Garden of Unforced Errors

The ability of these people to fuck the proverbial dog at any given moment continues to astound. I don't think it will affect anything, just give the horse-race media something to yammer about during this week's convention. Still, whatever happened to "don't do stupid shit"? This is how you end up polling neck-and-neck against a cartoon character.

Our Man In Moscow

Some people say that Donald Drumpf is in the pocket of Vladimir Putin. I saw it on the internet, so it must be true. This was a website that, frankly, in many respects, should be very respected.

I also saw where Uday J. Drumpf, Junior protested that his Russian hacker friends -- I'm not going to say that they're in cahoots, but it's there on the internet, so, you know, very respected -- couldn't possibly be behind the coincidental release of internal Democratic National Committee documents. Besides, Uday says he doesn't know who G. Grigorievich Lidsky could possibly be, so that should settle it. Big league.

Don't Wet the Bed Just Yet

Michael Moore was on one of Bill Maher's post-convention episodes the other night, postulating that he thinks Drumpf will win. Moore has followed that up with a post on his website, enumerating five specific reasons, which I'd like to rebut point-by-point.

Moore is correct that Drumpf could win, of course -- there are just enough stupid people in this country, who have no use for facts, who vote out of spite and foolishness and ginned-up nonsense. Anything can happen, and usually does. But let's take a look at Moore's reasoning.

Saturday, July 23, 2016

Occupying Force

Yet another cop who needs to do the right thing right now, resign his post and go to vocational school. There is no excuse for this. They're goddamned lucky that their bumbling didn't kill anyone.

Charles Kinsey, the caretaker who was shot while lying prostrate, should not have had to splay himself out in the roadway in the first place. He did nothing wrong. Maybe it was just two dudes sitting in the fucking road, are we drawing our guns right away for that now too? I hope he sues the fuck out of them.
The North Miami Police Department said it had received a 911 call of a man threatening to commit suicide with a gun pointed at his head. "At some point during the on-scene negotiation" with the two men, one of the officers fired, striking Kinsey, police said.


John Rivera, the president of the Dade County Police Benevolent Association, said Thursday afternoon that the officers "saw the white male almost on top of Mr. Kinsey, who had his hands up and who had his knees up, and to the officers, it looked like the white male was about to shoot Mr. Kinsey," Rivera said. "The officers all thought the individual had a firearm, not a toy truck."

Rivera said the officer "was trying to save the life of Mr. Kinsey and feels horrible that his aim missed and struck Mr. Kinsey."
This smells like an industrial fuckton of bush-league ass-covering. For starters, is this how they always respond to 911 suicide calls? Hopefully the media checks out the supposed call in question; chances are the facts won't jibe. Probably a completely different call.

And when the cops do arrive on the scene, ready for action, Kinsey flops on his back, arms up (something, incidentally, it wouldn't even occur to most white people to do, especially when you're just a caretaker trying to help your autistic patient), and explains the situation to the cops, and they still shoot -- and hit the "wrong" person. Way to defuse the fucking situation there, Deputy Fife.

Police in this country need to be retrained, top to bottom, front to back. I'm not getting into the "black lives" aspect of it at all; the problem here is that the level of force that used to be a last resort is now the first and only option. Don't bother assessing the scene an extra second, just react instantly, shoot to kill, and if you fuck up, THOUGHTS AND PRAYERS, YOU GUYS.

No other western country has law enforcement like this. Only banana republics have paramilitaries. This has to stop.

Go Duck Yourself

As I've said before, I watched Dork Dynasty once, just to see what the fuss was all about, and literally felt stupider by the end of the episode. I have no idea if the show is still airing -- and if it is, what sort of galoot is still watching it, and why. Whatever the case, Phil and Willie Robertson have parlayed their pop-culture notoriety into their avocation of injecting their regressive views into the political and religious arenas.

During the RNC last week, Willie Robertson found himself in the human centipede of D-listers, explaining as only a cosplay hillbilly millionaire could about how the "elites" don't know how to talk to "real people". That latter is one of the most tedious conceits imaginable -- that simply being working-class makes one more "real" or "legitimate". In many cases it does, but not always, and there is no shortage of supposedly regular people who are completely preposterous examples of humanity.

Willie Robertson and his family have made enormous sums of money exploiting the class anxieties of dopes and peons whose only respite is to convince themselves that smart people really aren't any smarter than anyone else, that study and expertise and analysis mean nothing, that Jebus is watching, even if he hasn't made them happy and wealthy and successful yet.

He Can't Help Himself

He's a fucking liar who lies about fucking everything. Sad!
Donald Trump boasted that the Republican National Convention hall was so “packed” during his prime time address that people were even selling convention tickets on eBay.

“Those seats were selling for a lot of money on eBay. They were going for big numbers,” he said on Friday morning.

But a POLITICO search of convention tickets sold on eBay, found that no tickets were actually sold.
What a sad, pathetic old man he is. Clearly the years of hair spray have soaked his cerebellum. Let's get Crazy Grampa the care he needs before he plows the family Buick through the wall of the supermarket. Probably should get him some diapers as well.

Friday, July 22, 2016

Violent Tendencies

Yes, the sooner these silly negroes understand that everyone really is treated equally, and that their "concerns" are simply the manufactured anxieties of the faggot librul media, the better of we'll all be.


Call it the Von Clownstick Effect:  perennial white-power candidate and convicted felon David Duke has thrown his hood in the ring one more blessed time, against eight other candidates in his own party. Keep up the good work, Loozyanna!

(Extra points for the WaPo photos of KKK scumbags from TN and MD in the first link. There are plenty just like them in LA, and they'll be voting for Duke. Fuck these doughy, pasty, drug-addled losers right in their loser blowholes. God hates you, fucktards. It literally brings me joy to know that most of these cocksuckers will die younger than they should, destitute and clueless as to how their dismal view of the world contributed to their miserable lives and early demises. I know, I'm mean.)

It would be surprising if Duke actually won, but stranger things have happened, obviously. Anything's possible. This quote is just money, though:
“I believe it’s time we start talking about the reality of terrorism linked to Black radicals,” Duke tweeted July 17 after the news broke about the police shootings in Baton Rouge. “How is this any different than ISIS?”
Now, your average meathead ofay Drumpf supporter reads that and goes, "Yeeaahhh!,"and then punches his wife for no reason. Anyone with two or more brain cells to rub together would flip the proverbial script and ask how at all it is similar to ISIS? I mean, you have to squint awful hard to find an equivalence between two black veterans, both of whom appear to have been either clinically insane or suffering from severe PTSD, going on shooting rampages against law enforcement officers, and a jihadi death cult run by de-Baathified officers from Saddam's old army, murdering anyone and anything that gets in their way.

But that's what makes them morons -- they don't squint at this shit, they don't think at all about any of it. Everything is visceral, reactive, lizard-brain. You want to know what makes the Drumpfkins tick, reread the above quote and consider the sort of mouth-breather that would nod their head at such nonsense. That's where we're at.

I don't know how the Dems reach out to such cretins; I don't want them to reach out to them. Fortunately they shouldn't have to. Clownstick has heightened the differences so that they should be clear as day. All the HFC show-runners have to do is mobilize the base and keep the unforced errors at zero. Start with forcing Drumpf to formally repudiate Duke.

This Just In

As we all assumed, HFC has picked Tim Kaine as her running mate. This might bug a few true blue pwoggies out there, but it's the safe bet. Kaine is a pro-choice Catholic from a swing state who speaks fluent Spanish, and is by all accounts a decent egg. Nothing brilliant, but nothing risky, either. Nothing's perfect, and you can bet I'm going to be carping in the coming weeks and months about how HFC's baggage has made what should be a blowout against a preposterous man-baby into a horse race. But it's a damn sight better than what the Suicide Squad has to offer.

[Update 7/23/16 1:15 PM PDT:  Jim Wright advocates eloquently for Kaine's selection. About the only thing I have a problem with is Kaine's support of the Trans-Pacific Partnership, but that's nowhere near a dealbreaker, especially as Drumpf gets more ignorant, incompetent, and insane by the day. The choice should be clear; you may not like HFC, but she's not incompetent or insane, and there's a real dragon to slay running against her. "More of the same" may not be inspiring, but it stands up pretty well in comparison to "unbridled catastrophe".]

In Logo Parentis

You may have seen the logo for the just-finished Republican National Convention, featuring an elephant trumpeting along the neck of a guitar (although the wise bet would be that the most popular musical instrument in that arena is the accordion), like so:

Of the four nights, I don't think I watched more than ten minutes per night, with the exception of Hair Fuhrer's dirge last night. I can't sit and watch these things, and don't plan to watch more than the bare minimum of the DNC next week either -- like the State of the Union, it's easier to just read the high points later, than to try to keep up between spontaneous chanting and eruptions of applause. I hate that shit.

But after all the reading, and the consistent pattern of "flaming hellscape" rhetoric, culminating in Deadbeat Donald's jeremiad of cherry-picked nonsense, the conclusion is inescapable that a more appropriate logo would have been to have the elephant with a gun in its mouth, ready to splatter its brains out the back of its head.

Who knows, if I get bored enough this coming week (we have a ten-day heat wave hitting the NorCal area, starting tomorrow), I may fire up GIMP and do some graphics work, maybe put up a bumper sticker or button on CafePress. I've been thinking about doing a fundraiser, but I don't want donations, I want to create something that will give people something fun, something to talk about and share with others.

I have some other ideas in this area that will be coming out very soon, as this campaign season really gets rolling. Life hands you this much stupid, might as well make some stupid-ade. Stay tuned.

Thursday, July 21, 2016

Cleveland Steamer, Day 4: Make America Dump Again

It's finally over -- and the real nightmare is likely just beginning. Hair Fuhrer went into an epic stemwinder, prolonged by the arena cult's incessant chanting and stopping him with their applause and adulation. Then they lined up at the side of the stage, and took turns coming up and sucking his wee, shriveled old-man cock.

Ein volk, ein Reich, ein Drumpf.

Okay, I made up those last bits, but not by much. This is a cult of personality -- and of anti-personality. They are motivated by an inordinate love for Drumpf, and an equally inordinate hate for HFC. They have no sense of logic or proportion for either.

Drumpf's speech, which was actually semi-competent since he did himself a favor and used a teleprompter, fixated mostly on "law and order" and "safety". This has to be the single biggest gathering of nervous, cringing ninnies ever. It's a fucking wonder they screwed up the courage to come to The Cleve and gather in the arena.

Broken Hearts Are For Assholes

Continuing with the all-Drumpf-all-the-time theme....

In the course of the last year, I've tried to balance the criticism of Drumpf with hopefully equal measures of criticism for his flock. If anything, they collectively are well due for a larger amount of contempt. As Rebecca Traister points out, a sui generis piece of shit like Drumpf doesn't just happen in a vacuum. Part of it, as always, is the ongoing addlement of large swathes of people who have marinated in "reality" teevee dipshittery for the past decade or so. They can no longer think straight, pure and simple.

But a more pernicious idea that must be confronted is the notion that Drumpf has taken over the party against its collective will. This is nonsense. Given its increasingly aggressive and fact-resistant rhetoric over the last couple decades, it was due for a toxic fuckhead to jump in and start driving the short bus. Someone with built-in name recognition just made the takeover that much easier.

Wednesday, July 20, 2016

News of the Whirled

Holy fucking shit:

During a 45-minute conversation, [Drumpf] explicitly raised new questions about his commitment to automatically defend NATO allies if they are attacked, saying he would first look at their contributions to the alliance. Mr. Trump re-emphasized the hard-line nationalist approach that has marked his improbable candidacy, describing how he would force allies to shoulder defense costs that the United States has borne for decades, cancel longstanding treaties he views as unfavorable, and redefine what it means to be a partner of the United States.

He said the rest of the world would learn to adjust to his approach. “I would prefer to be able to continue” existing agreements, he said, but only if allies stopped taking advantage of what he called an era of American largess that was no longer affordable.

Giving a preview of his address to the convention on Thursday night, he said that he would press the theme of “America First,” his rallying cry for the past four months, and that he was prepared to scrap the North American Free Trade Agreement with Mexico and Canada if he could not negotiate radically better terms.

He even called into question whether, as president, he would automatically extend the security guarantees that give the 28 members of NATO the assurance that the full force of the United States military has their back.

To the extent that he has discussed foreign policy at all, Drumpf has repeatedly leaned on his distaste for allied countries "free-riding" on organizational responsibilities and participation. Obama has mentioned his annoyance with this issue as well, as (for example) NATO requires each member nation to spend a minimum 2% of GDP, yet only five member nations (US, UK, France, Greece, Turkey) comply. Of course, since Drumpf doesn't read anything but Page Six and the Enquirer, he wouldn't know that he and Obama actually agree on a very important point, albeit with different results in what should be done about the issue.

So yeah, a lot of these countries are free-riding, but you know what? We keep bases and troops and missiles and nuclear warheads in many of them. We keep troops in South Korea and Okinawa (for which, contrary to yet another of Drumpf's countless lies, Korea and Japan do foot some of the bill) in order to preserve the balance of power (in other words, to guarantee we still call the shots) in the region.

The other thing to keep in mind is that if everyone paid their fair share, they would also expect to have more say in the overall strategy, and rightly so. Sometimes those interests don't align perfectly with our interests. But they paid their share, right? So some of this extra dough on our part is insurance against potential headaches. Part of getting to be the big dog means paying the extra freight.

For someone so obsessed with wealth and its seedier trappings, Drumpf seems completely ignorant of the concept of checkbook diplomacy.

This may actually be the most telling part of the article:

Mr. Trump repeatedly defined American global interests almost purely in economic terms. Its roles as a peacekeeper, as a provider of a nuclear deterrent against adversaries like North Korea, as an advocate of human rights and as a guarantor of allies’ borders were each quickly reduced to questions of economic benefit to the United States.

After enduring over three decades of this fucking asshole's self-regard in the national media, I have to say this encapsulates the core value I identified with Donald Trump way back in 1984, when I first heard of him:  virtually all of his relationships are purely transactional. This does not necessarily mean that he doesn't genuinely like anyone -- I believe he loves his kids, and probably even likes his current wife -- but it is clear that he mostly calibrates his regard for other humans based on the value they provide him and his all-important brand. Hell, Chris Christie and Mike Pence can tell you that.

More and more Drumpf is proving to be a pathologically sick -- as in mentally ill, seriously -- individual, a person whose inner demons, bizarre temperament, and sheer lack of impulse control should automatically disqualify him from any position of actual responsibility. Despite his and his sons' pathetic attempts to cast him as a friend of the working-class dog, Drumpf knows nothing of the world outside of the fancy hotels he jounces to and from, and he certainly has no clue about the longstanding alliances, relationships, arrangements, and histories that underpin the foreign policy of the United States of America.

He was obviously never qualified for any position of governmental power, but after this, it's debatable whether he should be in charge of anything more complicated than a banana stand.

Cleveland Steamer, Day 3: The Derpening

As the norovirus wends its way through the colons of these assholes (see what I did there?) gaggled in the arena in Cleveland, another round of lackeys and dogsbodies venture out to pay fealty to King Scumbag. The whole list of tonight's losers is here. Let the hijinks ensue!

Cleveland Steamer, Day 2: Double Down

Watching the "establishment" GOP hacks half-heartedly try to convince their audience that their golem has merit, between the junior golems' mythologizing of their dear ol' duddad, is nothing short of priceless. Aside from Uday and Marla, Jr., the only one who really seemed to be having fun with this was (of all people) Chris Christie, who of course led the Volkssturm in their nightly Dolchsto├člegende hate chant. Might as well; Fatboy surrendered what was left of his soul months ago. He's literally beneath contempt at this point, simply too low of a worm to bother with.

These people are freaks, fixated on a target created by their fevered imaginations. They will parse every single thing HFC ever did or said via email, whether or not it was classified when she sent it, the ramifications of using a NIPR (unsecured private server) over a SIPR (secured gov't server). Ask them about the 22 million emails that went missing from Cheney regime private server, to cover their tracks over firing eight US attorneys in their movement to politicize the federal prosecutorial system, and their heads will explode as they fumble for a response.