Sunday, September 23, 2018

Droit du Failson

While the corporate mediots continue chasing their collective tails over how mean Chuck Grasshole and Borrin Snatch are to wimmins, it might be a good time to review the essential truth that there's more to hate about Brett Kavanaugh than just his attempted rapes at prep school. The guy's just a complete sack of shit, from gin blossoms to hemorrhoids. He's a creep and a prick who has never been held accountable for anything in his life, because he has money, and money elevates you into the special caste.

David Rothkopf provides a solid reminder that Kavanaugh is basically everything real 'murkins claim to hate -- a spoiled frat-boy asshole who has simply been allowed to fail upward in life, over and over again, until the stench of his kind finally just wafts to the top. See Fredo Arbusto, and the jism-stained tangelo currently defiling the office. We talk a good game about these motherfuckers, and rarely follow through. This country is run through and through by mediocre dickheads of louche morality, failsons who would be unemployable anywhere outside of daddy's friends' companies.

There are so many reasons to disqualify Kavanaugh, beyond whatever he did or didn't do to Dr. Christine Blasey Ford. He's already been caught perjuring himself under oath, both during the current confirmation hearing and in past ones. His financial record is janky at best, but very possibly compromised. He managed to pay off a quarter-million dollars in debt, while sending his kids to their elite prep schools, while living in one of the most expensive real estate markets in the country. Sure would be something if Mother Jones didn't have to do all the heavy lifting on that, of maybe some of the corporate media failsons could be convinced to do their fucking jobs once in a while and check this out, instead of junketing down to Miami on the corporate dime and giving a platform to a bunch of Republican donors chomping at the bit to throw another woman under the bus.

Remember ladies, we can't do it without your help.

While we're at it, I feel compelled to throw in my two cents on this "all teenaged boys do this" bullshit. Let me be clear on this, without sounding humblebraggy: I did okay with girls in high school, went to plenty of parties, got my mack-daddy game figured out, and then toured with rock bands for the next ten years. So it's a pretty safe bet that I've been with a lot more women than a greasy tool like Rapebro McGambledrunk, like an order of magnitude more. Every woman Kavanaugh has ever gotten close to with his cheese-dick frat-boy "no means yes and yes means anal" idiocy knew his family had money. Some of us had to earn it, son.

But the point is, at no time would I or any of my friends have considered holding a girl or woman down and putting a hand over her mouth to silence her. It pisses me off to hear such behavior characterized as "normal" or "we all do this." I fucking resent these cunts (and it's been mostly women who've been floating that lie) saying such a thing. Maybe they live in a world where sex is aggression and domination and nothing more. I don't know and I don't care. But it's vile and toxic to just categorically assert that "all guys do this." We don't. Again, corporate mediots, stop giving liars a national platform to LIE.

As mentioned the other day, there is no need for the Goopers to stick with this flaming dumpster fire of a nomination. They can cry all they want about Dem perfidy, but they held Scalia's seat open in bad faith for 400 days, and Gorsuch sailed right into it with barely pro-forma opposition. Just like the teenaged behavior, this level of opposition does not "happen all the time." McGambledrunk is compromised and they know it, and it's why the emperor wanted him in the first place, a faithful lackey who knows who owns his ass, and will give daddy whatever he wants. He's a judicial gimp. They oughta buy him a leather mask with a zipper as a confirmation gift.

But it's clear now that the other reason they won't just cut bait on McGambledrunk and take one of the scores of knuckle-draggers down the list is pure chimp dominance. They need to show their baboon basetards that they can't be pushed around, especially by a bunch of broads like Kamala Harris and Mazie Hirono. [makes "pussy-whip" wuk-ch! noise]

Next time you're hearing yet another tiresome panel discussion about McGambledrunk's harmless teenaged groping, just try this thought exercise: what if McGambledrunk had been poor and black?

China Syndrome

Steve Hilton, Fixed Noise "analyst" and former advisor to British PM David Cameron, lands some pretty solid jabs in his analysis book excerpt regarding China's ascendance as an economic and military superpower. In particular, Hilton's points about the strictures imposed upon American companies doing business in China are problematic. Gee, if only Apple could afford to produce their thousand-dollar phones in America.

But it's here where Hilton, to put it mildly, loses the thread:

[Fuckface Von Clownstick] should now reject in its entirety the failed China strategy of his globalist predecessors. This means not just continuing, through tariffs, to pressurize[sic] the Chinese regime on issues like the theft of vital technology from American companies.

He needs to go bigger, and bolder. At the UN and beyond, he should rally the whole world behind a simple but audacious goal: to topple Xi Jinping's regime by turning China into a pariah state.

Only in the Fixed Noise alternate universe does that sound like a sensible idea. These assholes have just spent the better part of two years telling everyone apart from the world's most detestable dictators to go fuck themselves. What incentive do any of our allies and trading partners have to work with him on this "audacious goal"? Clownstick approaches every negotiation -- hell, every conversation -- with this "what's in it for meeee?" attitude. Well, what the hell makes anyone think Germany and France and the rest of them won't take the same posture for such a silly, stupid proposition?

Again, Hilton's not wrong in his list of grievances about the empowered authoritarian Chinese state. But we collectively decided that cheap toys were more important than anything else -- American jobs, human rights, economic parity and stability, collective sanity, and much more. We made our decision, and now it's too late to turn back. The locus of economic power is already shifting toward the Indian Ocean. China is poised to take over as the top economy in a year or two. It's already happening, and trying to conscript the European economies, who had their fill of our nonsense when we dumped the criminally inept Fredo Arbusto regime on them, and are in no mood to give us more chances now that we topped that fuck-up royally, is a fool's mission.

Maybe the phrase "too big to fail" has some resonance for Hilton. This is absolutely the case with China, and some hare-brained, no-plan stunt at the UN won't change that. Now, a person who had some intelligence, surrounded themselves with other smart people, and planned out such a massive undertaking carefully might have a shot at turning back China's impending dominance.

But we don't have that, do we? We have a dyspeptic, tantrum-throwing reality-teevee clown whose closest economic advisors are a movie producer and a cokehead teevee econ jerkoff with a decades-long track record of failed predictions. Yeah, I'm sure the winning team of Mnuchin and Kudlow have carefully crafted an exquisite master plan to make China a "pariah state" while keeping what's left of the American economy intact.

The fact is that, despite strong employment and GDP numbers, the precariat of the Obama years is still very much in effect. Real wages are still stagnant, despite near-constant reports of unfilled jobs and desperate employers. Somehow, they're not quite desperate enough to, you know, offer more money. Hmmm.

And while the emperor might be brushing aside his cheeseburger wrappers every other night to tweetkake the proles about the "record" economic boom, there's a problem baked into that -- if we accept the premise that economic booms are cyclical, and the current boom cycle has gone on longer than any (or at least most) that preceded it, then by definition that means that statistically, we're overdue for a recession. And he's started and escalated completely unnecessary trade wars with our largest trading partners. So how does the econ wizard Steve Hilton suppose that's going to shake out?

Besides which, I don't know if Princess Snowflake still has her knock-off wares being manufactured in the Shanghai sweatshops, but if she does, there's no goddamned way Daddy Dearest is going to ruin that for her.

Moore or Less

So Fahrenheit 11/9 has dropped, and to perhaps no one surprise other than  Michael Moore's, it looks to be pretty much DOA. This essay in Variety magazine (I know, right?) is a fine rundown on the many reasons why this is so.

To those reasons it might also be added that Moore has spent the last couple years trying bridge the divide, as it were. And while it is true that working-class Clownstick supporters are much more similar to working-class Clownstick opponents than they are different, the problem is that it doesn't matter, as long as the first group spends all their time in their impermeable bubble of epistemic closure.

Moore was on Bill Maher's show the other night, plugging his film and indulging in his now-usual harangues at "elitist" libruls for not listening to real 'murkins, yada yada. Coupled with all the very good reasons for Moore's decline listed in the Variety article, this is a major reason as well. It's bad enough we have to be constantly lectured by lying sellouts and brain-dead truck-stop denizens in Fuckknuckle, Alabama. Now we're supposed to listen to Moore's happy horseshit about how it's all libruls' fault because they didn't watch enough Duck Dynasty or whatever synapse-melting pod-people "reality" bullshit they're clamoring for this month.

Either you believe politics and policy are serious subjects for serious people, or you don't. Insisting that people who take those things seriously should take all their cues from idiots who are just glomming onto a name they recognize and coupling it with their bottomless spite -- well, I don't need to hear anymore of that shit. I've had entirely enough of pointless lectures from people who tell me they're on my side. Fuck you. Go make a fucking film for them, see if any of them will reach out to us. I promise you it'll be an even bigger waste of time and pixels.

Boycott Them All

In its own shitty way, CNN is just as useless and destructive to the desiccated corpse of American politics as the Fixed Noise Entertainment Option is (click photo to enlarge).

These "news" orgs need to get right with Jebus and either clean house, or fold up shop. Not that that'll ever happen, since they're definitely fulfilling their true purpose -- to give each other panel discussion points and sell cheeseburgers and pharmaceuticals to the rubes.

It does no good to remind of the right thing to do. The only thing they understand is taking a shot to the wallet. This is hackery at its worst. I don't give a fuck how "principled" Jake Tapper and Anderson Cooper are supposed to be, they're taking the checks, they're part of the problem.

Sometimes the "fake news" epithet is well-deserved. Fuck 'em all, put every goddamned one of them out of business. They're how we got in this jam in the first place. It's time these assholes had to go earn an honest living.

Wednesday, September 19, 2018

25th Amendment Remedies

This interview public relations hack job has to be read to be disbelieved. I have no idea who the two clowns are that participated in the dual fellation of Parsnut Mario Kart, but they need to shred and burn whatever journo creds they have, because those are fraudulent documents.

It's impossible to narrow it down to just one or two things. Here's a cursory list:
  • He basically admits that he declassified the Carter Page docs because Dobbs, Hannity, and Pirro told him he should.
  • He admits that he did not review the documents before declassifying them. He did it because "many people" asked him to.
  • He keeps referring to Peter Strzok and Lisa Page as "lovers," which considering his own personal history is weird and creepy and hypocritical in its implicit moralizing. Maybe he thinks it'll keep his weird, creepy, hypocritically moralizing evangelical basetards in the game. He's probably right.
  • He asserts that the FBI paid George Papadopoulos "from $500,000 to $2 million" for something or other, but never gets around to saying what.
  • He thinks he should have fired Comey when he won the primaries. You know, five months before the fucking election.
  • He continues to push the notion that Mueller is after his fat hide over some bullshit dispute of country club dues, something vague along that line. He's never quite clear about that, or about anything else. Oh, Mueller "wanted to be head of the FBI." Which he already had been, for over ten years. Fucking simpleton.
  • He throws Jeff Sessions under the bus yet again. At this point, the KKKeebler Elf must be nothing but tire tracks and diesel exhaust, held together by spite and cracker crumbs. Sessions has even less self-respect than Ted Cruz and Chris Christie. Where does he find all these cucks anyway, do they rent their asses out at his club? I bet he has Roger Stone take them out for a test drive -- he's a power bottom if ever there was one.
Not only does he posit that the Democrats started the "Russia hoax" as an excuse for losing the election, seven months before the election, he lamely tries to cover that idiot logic by saying that was when people started thinking he had a chance to win. Right up to the very day of the election itself, I never saw a single reputable poll that gave him more than a fifteen percent chance. Even the normally reliable betting markets had Clinton at 85-90% chance of winning.

The idea that the Democrats -- who again were too inept to figure out how to beat a cartoon character with a well-documented history of bankruptcy, incompetence, and corruption -- were able to engineer months in advance this baroque hoax, with assistance from lifelong Republicans at every level, is so preposterous, only he and his ass-kissers on state teevee could possibly find a thread of logic in it.

Then an extended coda, riffing on the usual "I'm the greatest ever and no one has done more than me" jabber, but it reads and seems more jabbery than usual. It's hard to tell if it's because he knows the vise is closing on his droopy old-man balls, or because his narcissism prevents him from understanding why everyone doesn't think he's perfect all the time about everything. Probably a combination of both.

But these journos, inept as they are, deserve some credit, since their tedious knob job basically just let him keep going, and it's almost certain that a couple of the things he says, pertaining to Comey and perhaps Mueller and Sessions as well, could end up being self-incriminating. Just pick a random paragraph and read it aloud, and you ask yourself if that's someone who should be in any position of responsibility, much less in the White House.

It's almost tempting to leave him there to do more damage, since the people who vote for him don't even agree with him or the party on policy, but are merely voting out of spite to make the libtard snowflakes cry. They're about to get a further taste of tariff backlash magic, and their squeals of pain are surprisingly musical.

Balls to the Wall, Slight Return: An Obvious Theory

There is another highly likely reason they don't want to cut bait on Kavanaugh, and it's basically the same reason he was nominated in the first place:  because he's compromised. They obviously knew it; they had that stupid letter ready the very second Christine Blasey Ford's accusation got out.

Look at all the major players Clownstick has had working with and for him over the years, starting with Roy Cohn back in the day. Think what you know about (for just one example) Rudy Giuliani and his utter lack of character, and now try to imagine (without making yourself sick) all the things you don't know about him.

I don't mean weird sex shit, either; Ghouliani is an arm-twister, born and bred. Five of his uncles were supposedly made guys. He was a popular mayor in NYC well before 9/11, because of the feeling that he got shit done, and could and would (and did) do pretty much anything to make sure things got done.

Ghouliani's just one sordid example. Michael Cohen fancies himself a Ray Donovan-style fixer, and you should have no doubt that if someone were to grab a shovel and dig in the right spots, they'd find worse things than what you know. Kushner is balls-deep in debt to the Saudis and Qataris and the Chinese. Scratch just about any name in Clownstick's inner circle and you will find grime under your fingernail. Obviously, that's no accident. This is the problem with prizing loyalty over ability.

These are the kinds of people Clownstick has always liked to surround himself with, because they're compromised, because no one with any ethics will touch them and so they're grateful, they owe him and will be intensely loyal because there's nowhere else for them to go.

You think anyone wanted Huckabilly Sanders or Kellyanne Conway for anything before they hitched their wagons to that loser, much less now? Come on. Baghdad Barb would be hustling the mail-order swag for her dirtbag old man, and Conway was lamely shilling for Ted Cruz, talking days of shit about Clownstick, before she saw which way the wind was blowing.

So Kavanaugh makes perfect sense in that regard -- if he squeaks through, he'll owe Clownstick more than ever; if not, the next contestant will have to find ways to distance himself from the emperor's fat shadow. Awk-ward!

Balls to the Wall

Brett Kavanaugh attempted-rape accuser Christine Belsey Ford has asked for an FBI investigation into her claims before she testifies. Unfortunately, but all too predictably, this will not go her way -- the bureau will not investigate unless directed to do so, which obviously won't happen, and if Dr. Belsey Ford doesn't show up next Monday, Chuck Grasshole and the rest of the He-Man-Woman-Haters Club will just say, "Hey, we offered."

There is so much bad faith baked into this whole process it's sickening, just layers upon layers of naked cynicism. Should Ford have come forth at some earlier stage in Kavanaugh's ascent up the judicial ladder? Absolutely. Do we perhaps understand why women might be reluctant to come forward with these sorts of accusations? If we don't, we should by now.

For all the hacks doubting her account, one thing should still be clear:  liars don't typically ask the FBI to investigate their claims. Maybe it turns out to be bullshit, but no one knows yet, it deserves to be checked out thoroughly, and ferchrissake, you'd get dumped from an interview with Target or Walmart for this sort of thing.

Which makes sense, since the asshole-in-chief wouldn't last a day at a real job, at a company owned by anyone else. He wouldn't last a month even at the managerial or executive level of one of those companies, much less as floor staff. Those folks actually have to show up and work hard and behave themselves.

Perhaps most frustrating is that it's come to this point in the first place. Kavanaugh should have been disqualified or at postponed already regardless:  he has very likely perjured himself in this and past confirmation hearings; he seems unable to give clear answers regarding his opinions on important privacy rulings such as Roe and Griswold; he has yet to explain how someone with his means spends a quarter-million dollars on baseball tickets, and then pays down the credit card debt with a suspicious quickness.

Then there's the matter of only ten percent of his documentation being released for senatorial review. It is somewhat difficult to fulfill an "advise and consent" role for this lifetime appointment when you're only being given a fragment of the record to review, and over 100k pages are being deliberately withheld from review, on orders of a lawyer who represents Kavanaugh, Don McGahn, and George W. Bush's administration. Small world.

Obviously, this is no longer about Kavanaugh specifically, or even filling a SCOTUS seat generally. (And let's not forget Anthony Kennedy's role in all this. May he rot in hell.) This is about power, and the naked exercise thereof. This is about Republicans scrambling to fill the seat before the midterms, because they know or at least believe strongly that they're going to take a hit in about six weeks. This is about Not Backing Down.

Face it, they obviously have a list of knuckle-draggers if this one doesn't work out. There is no reason not to cut bait on Kavanaugh and move on to the next one, no reason to die on that particular hill. Except they clearly feel that this is their last best chance, that shit's coming down soon, and they now don't have enough time to try to ram through another mossback.

The Democrats do not have to pitch their tent on this single issue, as awful as it is. As noted, there are several salient issues regarding Kavanaugh, any of which should be at least enough to hit the "pause" button and get more information. Hell, there would still be time to confirm him before election day, if it came to that.

Even if this had been a last-minute stalling tactic, so what? The Goopers are trying to push this guy through without a proper review for purely political reasons. Their hypocrisy re Merrick Garland is wide open, and defying you to call them on it. The other valid questions about Kavanaugh have been summarily brushed aside, questions that they would have spent weeks grilling an Obummer-appointed candidate on. And we all know it. Why is only one side allowed to play cutthroat rules? This is the game you wanted, assholes. Well, you got it.

But their real strike date for this is the end of next week. Because some of these shitbirds -- lookin' at you, "Ted" Cruz -- need to get back home and campaign in October, to try and keep their seats.

The fact that they've managed to keep Clownstick from twit-bashing Ford, and that the senators invited her to testify, clearly indicate that they're worried at least a bit. There's just the slightest stutter-step in their rush to ram Kavanaugh into his seat (giggity). This is a weakness that must be exploited as much as possible.

There has been some talk of future Dem court-packing, and that doesn't sound too thrilling either. Given how ludicrously compromised this process has become, it might be better to approach it from another angle, and set limits, albeit long ones -- say twenty to twenty-five years. This removes the "lifetime appointment" gambit that has become a cynical football, and it also reduces the chance of a judge going senile on the bench, having their clerks do all the work. No one should be working past the age of eighty or eighty-five, including Supreme Court judges and members of Congress. And no one needs to hold the same powerful position for more than a generation.

The trick is where to start, to cast some semi-random future date, say 2025 or 2030, after which appointments would be for the aforementioned 20-25 year term. But it's something to consider, and might even alleviate what has become a hopelessly cynical and debauched process.

This Week in the Neverending Saga of Fuck 'em

Oh, you mean Parsnut Coal Mine don't really care 'bout coal miners? Knock me over with a fucking feather. As this human centipede of an administration keeps morphing into a total laughingstock rather than their intended object of fear and awe, the brightest light is that his most rabid supporters are getting exactly what they voted for -- good and hard, as always.

Sunday, September 16, 2018

Lazy Bitch Ragin'

While the week culminated in Paulie the Wig flipping over on Fat Donny Dollhands, the latter spent the previous four days driving home every point every critic had ever made about him, oblivious as always.

Seriously, what kind of dipshit gives fist-pumps and thumbs-ups at a 9/11 memorial on 9/11? I'm surprised he didn't high-five one of the grieving family members. Maybe he didn't want to get his tiny, tiny hands outsized.

Then the multiple tweets contesting the Hurricane Maria body count in Puerto Rico. Even some of the cultists have to see by now the pathologies in play with him. It takes some doing to find two national tragedies that each took about three thousand American lives, and fuck them up on consecutive days. He made them both about himself, albeit in different ways. But that's his thing -- he doesn't know or understand the simple concept of other people and their needs and wants. For him, literally everything is about him.

And that's coming through more and more, evident to all. The requisite clips from the last few hate rallies show a rather....tempered enthusiasm, let's say. Oh sure, you read the local bumwipe and they'll profile the requisite "Ah niver voted bee-four he came along, and he's uh-may-zin!" losers in the crowd, waiting outside for hours because they have no lives. But that's a handful of hardcore suckers out in the middle of nowhere. Let him go anywhere an appreciable quantity of people live, see what happens.

He knows it, and they know it, and their peckerwood logic won't change any of that.

Manafort's flip seems to have quieted his tiny Twitter thumbs somewhat, though he bizarrely dug up this old gem last night, reminding everyone of something that happened ten years ago that no one gave a shit about, while simultaneously not getting just how much he's gotten away with the past few years -- hell, his entire life.

But you know he's run out of material when, in the wake of his campaign manager signing a cooperative plea agreement, he's reduced to whining about Obama's ancient "57 states" gaffe. Even Kellyanne's better half had to jump in on that one. Real tight ship these assholes run.

Bottom line:  as each week makes the previous one pale in comparison, and we know the coming week is going to be crazy, one fact remains consistent -- the guy is awful, just pure unadulterated scum. He genuinely doesn't see other people as separate entities apart from him, with their own interests. He doesn't understand or care about other people's pain. I've read about serial killers with more empathy for their victims.

The economy is doing relatively well -- for now, anyway, until the tariffs and trade wars kick in. The economy is a lagging indicator, and it takes time for these things to percolate. But the cold fact is that even with a strong economy and no major military conflicts dominating the news, two out of three Americans fucking hate him. It didn't necessarily have to be that way, but he can't have it any other way. He has to be the obstinate, bratty four-year-old losing his shit in the cereal aisle, every time.

The midterms will clarify the situation. Either we have a republic, or we have a banana republic. It's fuck-or-walk time, folks. Make sure you haven't been purged from the voter rolls, and then make sure to vote. I have little faith in the Dems even with a landslide victory, but even their gutless, squirrelly ineptitude is better than the lagoon of pig shit we have right now.

Saturday, September 15, 2018

Manafort Paul Seizin's; Or, The Lyin' In Winter

Good news is scarce enough to practically be in witness protection, so the news that Paulie the Wig is finally turning state's is surely a welcome development. With or without that fucking turd Kavanaugh skating through his not-even-pro-forma bullshit confirmation, Fuckface Von Clownstick's goose appears to be cooking nicely.

It's getting buried in the disaster-porn hurricane coverage that our shithead corporate media live and breathe for, but the biggest clue that Manafort has something huge to trade is that the cooperative plea deal required him to surrender $46 million in personal assets. In principle, I've never been a huge fan of civil asset forfeiture, as its application in various states and municipalities has generally ended in people getting shaken down by an authoritarian extortion racket, instead of being left the fuck alone.

But in the case of Manafort, we'll make a small exception -- this asshole has spent his adult life as a PR tool for some of the most evil dictators of the late 20th century. Couldn't happen to a nicer guy. He's a procurer, a pimp, a professional prevaricator. He's a money launderer, a tax dodger, a peddler of influence and a distributor of thick envelopes. People like Manafort are the grease in the world's brutal wheels, and it would serve him right to spend the rest of his life rotting in prison, thinking about how many people had to die for his fucking ostrich jackets.

Beyond all that though, it again helps to focus on the massive amount of the forfeiture, which apparently didn't take long to push Paulie on. Seems like just a week or two ago Manafort was counting on his good buddy Fat Donny Tangelo to pardon him and absolve his many sins. One assumes that Mueller showed Paulie just enough of his cards to let him know that Paulie's ace in the hole was no match for Bobby's (at least) three kings.

Maybe it's a full house, maybe it's a four of a kind. Whatever it is, it was enough to convince Paulie to roll on his only hope for a walk, and at the cost of pretty much everything he had. So it's big. And we're about to find out what it is. And we've earned it. I hate these fucking people so much, Trump and all his enablers.

I've talked a lot of trash in here over the years, and smacked some richly deserving muthafuckaz. But Trump (and again, a very rare lapse into the actual name of the thing, because mockery and ridicule are central to sapping its illusory power) is one of the few people for whom my hate is genuine and deep and eternal. I hate everything about him, and always have. I sincerely wish and hope and pray that he is pursued and inundated by every misfortune life has to offer.

We'll get into it in a bit more detail in the next post, but to be more specific, it goes beyond his tedious stupidity and willful ignorance. He's complete scum as a human being, and he's shown it over and over again; even under the most tragic of circumstances, disasters that should evoke empathy from the hardest of hearts, he is only worried about himself. Watching that over and over again for the last thirty years or so has been appalling and tiresome. And still he refuses to go the fuck away.

In the end, though, it's the completely unearned sense of entitlement he's always had. I don't just mean the smarmy expectation that whatever fortune and privilege he has is his divine right, I mean the in-your-face-and-up-your-ass conviction that he should be allowed to play by an entirely different set of rules than everyone else, simply because he's so fucking awesome and incredible and special. It's been his defining characteristic the entire time, since he started humping 'murka's leg in the 1980s with his ridiculous thoughts and tacky personal life.

I don't have to play by your mortal rules. Turns out you do, fucker. You're not nearly as special as you think you are. You're about to get hosed, bigly, and your close minions Paulie the Wig and Mikey the Weasel are providing the ammo. I've waited for this for so long, I don't know if I can afford enough popcorn. We don't need no water, let the motherfucker burn.

Maine Event

Here's a thought for the folks contributing to and running the Go Fund Me account set up to challenge useless ectoplasm Susan Collins if she fails to vote correctly on prep-school rapist Brett Kavanaugh for his pre-ordained SCOTUS seat:  don't bother making the challenge to Collins conditional on just that one vote. Fucking go all in against her. Put that money into getting a senator that will actually represent the interests of average Mainers(?).

Collins is horrible, a weaselly hack whose cultivation of bullshit "moderate" and "independent" descriptors is as craven as Saint McCain's "maverick" appellation. The day Susan Collins shows any real independence from bog-standard swamp rats like Bitch McConnell or Huckleberry Closetcase is a day you should go out and buy a fucking lottery ticket.

So just lean into it and make it official, turn it into a PAC to fund whichever Democrat takes Collins on for 2020. Because she needs to go regardless. Maybe she can replace that shitbird Paul LePage as governor, but there's no shame in just raising as much dough as possible and getting opportunistic hacks like Collins and Murkowski and the rest of the faux-pendents the fuck out of there.

How to Get Away with Murder

There are many ways, of course, if you are imaginative enough. But one surefire, can't-miss, no-fail way to get away with stone cold murder:  be a white cop killing a black man. Never fails.

Hopefully no one is fooled by the Dallas prosecutor charging Amber Guyger with manslaughter, because it's a "safer" conviction than a murder charge. It doesn't matter what Guyger is charged with. Mark my words, call your bookie, and bet your entire paycheck, because it's as much of a slam-dunk as saying the sun will rise in the east tomorrow morning -- Guyger will walk, and she probably won't even be fired from her fucking job. She might resign on her own, if a big enough stink is raised. But they won't fire her. They've already invested fully into cover-up-and-muddy-the-water mode.

It would be amusing to watch the repeated attempts to get her story straight, if we weren't talking about an innocent man MURDERED in his own fucking house for no goddamned reason, and a bunch of people who entrusted and empowered to SERVE AND PROTECT the public are collectively using every cheap tactic available to avoid accountability.

Whatever bullshit story they finally land on and decide to roll with, chances are it was something stupid, like Guyger being drunk or high. Either that or she had some unknown (so far) beef with Botham Jean. Probably some combination of the two, but whatever the case, this was no accident. It was either gross negligence and dereliction, or outright intent.

Law enforcement and criminal justice professionals, whether they're cops or prosecutors, will all tell you that innocent people have nothing to hide, that people who instinctively clam up and grab a lawyer are almost guaranteed to be guilty of something. Of course, the rules change when it's one of their own, but we all know the truth.

Everyone knows the fix is in and the game is rigged. Everyone knows that cops can do whatever the fuck they please, when it comes to black men. Ask Patrick Dorismond, Walter Scott, Eric Garner, Amadou Diallo, and on and on. For every Michael Slager who gets held accountable, there's a dozen or a score or a hundred who don't. And I promise you, Guyger won't, even though her crime is even more egregious situationally than just about any police shooting.

I mean, how fucking dumb do you have to be to buy the notion that a police officer, a member of a profession that is trained rigorously to observe, did not know her own apartment -- especially since her apartment was not only on another floor, but had additional locks on the entry door because of her occupation. And Botham Jean had a huge red welcome mat outside his entry door. Either Guyger is a laughably bad cop who never should have been on the job in the first place, or she's lying because she knows she fucked up.

But not really. I hope I'm wrong, but I know what country this is. All it takes is one "cops is never wrong" doofus on the jury to jack the verdict, and Guyger walks. Don't think that she and her friends on the blue wall don't know that. This thing will get tossed, and even if Jean's family pursues a lawsuit (and hopefully they do, hopefully they sue Guyger and the police department into absolute penury for their shameful incompetence and reprehensible misconduct throughout), and even if they win a judgment, the amount will be lessened simply by virtue of the fact that a criminal outcome couldn't be attained.

Hell, the aforementioned Slager got a mistrial at first, and the only reason it came back around and he got convicted and sentenced is because he had a long history of that shit -- oh, and his murder of Walter Scott was caught on video. But even with video of Slager shooting Scott five times in the back and planting the gun on him, it took two years and two trials to hold his worthless ass accountable. All anyone has on Guyger is her idiotic fairy tale and a few neighbors who overheard things, some of which may conflict and thus cancel each other out. Then all you're left with is a vulnerable young white woman fending off a menacing black man.

Everyone's up in arms, and rightly so, about the public release of a search warrant of Jean's apartment that turned up a small quantity of pot. What they don't tell you is they were probably looking just as hard for a photo of Jean in a hoodie and baggy pants, maybe throwing gang signs with his hands, that sort of shit. These people are completely without scruple, gearing up to smear and blame a man their employee murdered. Amber Guyger straight-up MURDERED Botham Jean, and she and the Dallas PD are getting away with it, and that's all there is to this.

Even on the million-to-one chance that this was some weird "honest accident," which is already impossible given how Guyger's story has changed from whether the door was locked or ajar, so what? What do you think would happen if you somehow got disoriented and knocked on your neighbor's door, thinking it was your own house, and you pulled your weapon and shot your neighbor when he opened the door, thinking he was burglarizing your house? Seriously? But a police officer makes that sort of fatal "mistake" and they're for some reason given the benefit of the doubt, even thought the standard should be higher.

Again, even on the miniscule chance that Amber Guyger is "innocent," even her own bullshit story proves she has no business being on any police force, or indeed in any position that requires oversight of others' lives. No matter. You just watch -- she'll walk, and the Dallas PD will just get her off the street and give her a desk job. She won't do an hour in jail. Count on it.

Thursday, September 06, 2018

War Party

The Brett Kavanaugh confirmation hearings have been every bit the monkey-fuck we all knew they would be. The nominee is a smarmy little putz who should be drummed out of public service post-haste, I don't give a shit how nice he is in the soccer-team carpool or whatever.

He's a typical little suburban asshole creep who is salivating at the chance to go after every conservatard's judicial wet dream -- no, not Roe v. Wade, but Griswold v. Connecticut, the ruling that not only tragically permitted American citizens to purchase birth control and have some say over their reproductive lives, but also put the phrase "penumbra of rights" into the judicial lexicon, as that pertains to the privacy of individuals. These creepy little Handmaid's Tale shits can't stand that they might not be able to fully control women's sex lives.

But what's worse is how cynically the Republicans have gone about this, not just bulling Kavanaugh's confirmation through before the midterms, not just releasing less than ten percent of the documents Kavanaugh has worked on, but withholding another 100,000 pages of potentially incriminating documents. Indeed, it appears that Kavanaugh has already perjured himself.

And yet the GOP will sign off on this rigged bullshit, because that is what they have been for a long time. It's just gotten progressively worse, and now here we are. It's going to cost them in the long run.

I'm fifty-one years old now. I was a pretty reliable ticket-splitter up till 2000, and even since then, I've voted for an occasional Republican at the local level. But never again, not even for dog catcher or tax collector. Fuck that corrupt husk of a party and everyone who remains within it. Kavanaugh is a fucking animal who was specifically brought in to get His Travesty's dick out the wringer with Mueller, and the process is rigged beyond belief, and even "moderate" Republicans like Collins and Murkowski are in on it. Fuck them, every last one of them. They are betraying this nation, pure and simple.

So figuring I probably have another twenty-five to thirty years of life, that works out to roughly fifteen electoral cycles I have left to vote in. And I don't give a shit if the alternative is a dirtbag of a human being, if they are running against the Republican, they get my vote. My wife, same thing. My daughter, who unfortunately is five months too young to vote this November, is looking forward to a long life of never voting Republican. Never. Not under any circumstances.

The fucking aliens could land or the Chinese invade, and we'll just have to figure out something. Because we'll never vote for those treasonous cocksuckers ever again, and I know a lot of other people who are feeling the same way. The entire party has abdicated any pretense to principle or morality, or even basic loyalty to country over party. They must be made to pay. The Republican party must be rendered moot, razed to the ground, the earth salted, and the ashes scattered to the four winds.

Which brings me to the Democrats, who to their credit have been steadfast in their angry opposition to this fucking travesty. But this has to be a permanent war stance now, because it is a war. There is no room for compromise on anything anymore. That is my expectation out of this, or I won't be voting Democratic either. I'm not having anymore of this "live to fight another day" bullshit anymore -- this is now that "another day," so it is time to fight, until you win or die.

Assuming that this dog-and-pony show goes through, and that smug little shit gets the SCOTUS seat, and the House goes Democratic in November, it needs to be a priority to impeach -- impeach Kavanaugh, that is. As noted above, he's perjured himself, possibly multiple times. He lied in the job interview. That's not even touching on the hundreds of thousands of dollars of credit card debt Kavanaugh incurred buying tickets to fucking baseball games -- and then paid that debt down very quickly, suspiciously so. This asshole is janky to high heaven, and he's a sex freak to boot.

It's been cool watching Cory Booker and Kamala Harris and Pat Leahy and others get all up on Kavanaugh, getting loud and angry and fighting. Chuck Grassley is a fucking doddering weasel who is leading this betrayal of the country, and Leahy or Feinstein or one of the older Dem lions needs to pull him aside in the back room, away from the cameras and microphones, and look Grassley in his beady, traitorous eyes, and calmly assure him that if he insists on bulling through this travesty, that they have Kavanaugh on video perjuring himself, and that that is grounds for impeachment, and that a Dem House will absolutely go through the impeachment process, even if there aren't enough senators to convict and remove this turd.

The Senate seats up for grabs in 2020 are basically the reverse of this year -- twice as many vulnerable Republican seats as Democratic ones. Again, the Dems need to put on their war face and make sure that the Republicans -- who are not their friends, not their colleagues, not their fucking drinking buddies; they are complicit in the ongoing destruction of this nation's institutions, and are openly rigging the processes and rules, and as such, are now the enemy -- understand that no compromise or cooperation or quarter will be asked or given.

I don't know about you, but I've had quite enough of gutless incrementalism. Look around you -- this is what that has gotten us. It's time to try something else. Mencken's aphorism about hoisting the black flag and slitting throats should be the rule of thumb going forward. This can no longer stand.

Derp Throat; Or, The Best People

Interesting parlor game going about that Vichy Times op-ed, no? The smart money seems to be on it coming out of Pence's shop, but Charles Pierce floated an interesting possibility that it could be Kellyanne Conway or her husband.

Doesn't matter, of course, so long as once the person is identified, they are never hired for anything beyond burger-flipper again in their worthless lives. It's difficult to imagine the warped conceit of a person who can pretend that they are "serving the country" by sabotaging a chief executive they know to be unstable and incompetent.

Whoever the worthless cocksucker is, they seriously should be shunned by all, rendered completely unemployable forever. They are loyal only to their own gutless careerism, whatever they deluded themselves with after writing that thing. It's one of the most chickenshit things I've ever seen in my life, but it's entirely in keeping with the sort of people he would hire, and the sort of people who would be willing to work for him.

Obviously, in a much broader sense, this latest episode, as well as the Bob Woodward quotes that flooded the zone on Tuesday, show conclusively the monumental ineptitude that has always been the trademark of this preposterous grifter. The person who wrote that thing could literally be any of about a hundred or two hundred people. Huckabilly Sanders and Stephen Miller seem to be about the only two people you could rule out.

The White House is a snake pit, the administration is little more than an ongoing human centipede. It could be just about anybody. That tells you everything you need to know about the "best people" he selects. He selects people like himself:  dumb, narcissistic, marginally competent at best, willing to lie instrumentally, loyal to nothing and nobody.

This summer has been hilarious and highly entertaining, even as it's gotten weirder than any of us could have imagined. As I've mentioned before, I stopped being worried months ago, when it became clear that they are all even more incompetent than anyone could have supposed. These people could fuck up a shit sandwich.. The walls are closing in, and they are all turning on each other, and now this stupid, self-serving op-ed is going to set off an internal administrative massacre (sadly not a real massacre).

They are all just fucking awful, every last one of them. If they had any goddamned self-respect, they would commit ritual seppuku in the Rose Garden, for a live news feed. As it is, their professional lives will be ruined, so there is some karma. Stock up on some popcorn and hope that the tsunami comes through, because that will be the final nail in this shitshow.

In the meantime, this is a real body blow, and it is important for the cultists to see that rather than the libtard pwnage they thought they had, they really just have universal ridicule and revulsion. No one's scared of Fat Manbaby, sorry. We're all just tired of the four-year-old throwing an endless temper tantrum in the cereal aisle, but also waiting for that magic moment when either mom flips out and whips his ass finally, or he pulls off his pants and starts smearing his shit everywhere.

But yeah, that whole "piss off the libs" thing has passed, just to the point of strengthening the resolve to vote an end to this nonsense, once and for all. Hope it was worth it, assholes.

Hate Rally Arena Capacity Update

Rimrock Auto Arena in Billings, Montana, capacity 12,000. Depending on whom you prefer to believe, either there were about 10,000 of the usual cult losers wound up to rock-concert excitement, or an indeterminate number of bozos who received his requisite Putin praise with lukewarm enthusiasm.

And so it goes. It seems like the Deadline link provides a truer picture of the scene, a jabbering dunce decompensating before our eyes, but the Great Falls Tribune blowjob provides a truer portrait of the cultists and how they think, how they access and process the "information" and "facts" that they use to make their fantastic decisions to support this....this goddamned thing.

Debbie Robbins, too, ignored any negative news and said people opposing the president are making fools of themselves.

Robbins, 67, voted for the first time to vote for Trump. Her registration didn’t go through so she drove 60 miles to same-day register and vote in Dillon, the county seat.

She and Mike only wish he could be in office for 20 years.

She said the limited coverage of Medicare is a major concern.

Mike Robbins said Trump has an ambitious agenda and needs support to get it accomplished.

“We know how important it is to be united,” he said.

I almost wish that turd could stick around for a while, just so these dipshits could get the full brunt of the awesome health care reform their lord and master is, um, well, I guess there's something in the works, right?

But really, this is like the ultimate Cletus safari, these morons. It's not just the complete epistemic closure, the empty recitation of alternate facts. It's the knowledge of what they're waiting around all day in line for like a bunch of saps, because their time is worth nothing, their lives have nothing going on. I can't think of any politician I would have waited six hours in the sun to see. Especially a politician that just says the same three or four things over and over and over again: wow, I'm so great, no one is greater than me; everyone who disagrees with me is a traitor and a liar; everyone is so unfair, very unfair; did I mention how fucking perfect and awesome I am?

Seriously, these are people with absolutely nothing going on. They have utterly failed at the business of life. If they weren't so despicable they'd be pitiable. They don't seem to get that they are just as ridiculous as their empty hero. As it is, the fervent hope that they get everything they voted for -- good and hard, of course -- burns as bright as ever.

Monday, September 03, 2018

Elegy for Charles Ellis Schumer (Sad Trombone Accompaniment)

In this brief post at LGM, Paul Campos captures succinctly everything currently wrong with the country's political mechanisms in general, and the Democratic Party in particular. Deconstruct the dynamic in play there:  the Senate minority leader is pointing to a routine cynical column by a center-right (or perhaps in the current parlance, "alt-center") columnist writing for the most manicured poodle in the corporate media kennel.

Even the lede in the tweet ("John McCain knew that we are better than [Clownstick].") is at least implicitly false. We have no idea what exactly McCain knew or thought along that line with any real specificity. But with his slow demise and now his passing, McCain has been appropriated by the commentariat as this hybrid of The Last Honest Man and the avatar of What We Have All Lost.

That's bullshit, and worse yet, it is clearly more about the professional scriveners and their official catechisms than about John McCain. Once again, McCain proved to be a more complex figure than can comfortably fit into their hero-worship narratives. He wasn't afraid to call out the emperor as an asshole, but aside from one notable exception, he rarely bucked with any real impact.

Sunday, September 02, 2018

Hate Rally Arena Capacity Update

Almost forgot -- the useless orange tub of shit that festers in the office of the country's chief executive had another gathering of the dumpalos, this time at the Ford Center in Evansville, Indiana. The official capacity of the venue is listed at 11,000, but according to the local newspaper of record, the use of a smaller stage enabled them to squeeze in another 500 losers.

The cost to taxpayers for each of these events will probably never be itemized or even made public. No doubt the M.O. is the same as during the campaign, where he would barnstorm these shithole towns, make empty promises to reimburse for law enforcement and cleanup costs incurred, and leave the local yokels holding the proverbial bag. Serves 'em right.

Friday, August 31, 2018

Death of a Salesman

Touching back briefly on the week-long Saint John McCain media production:  I happened to catch a few choice minutes of the coverage this morning, reverential play-by-play from the dutiful CBS This Morning crew, segueing into the eulogies. I caught a taste of Addison McConnell's song-and-dance, before Poly Rayon stepped up to the mic.

I don't even recall what either of them said, and obviously it matters not at all. Ultimately, this week was about the media and their narrative regarding Poor Ol' Straight Talk, and his mavericky maverickness. He gave them that narrative, and they were happy to take it and use it.

Since McCain famously disinvited our petulant toddler-king, and good on him for that, the week's narrative was peppered by countless jeremiads about how McCain was too good for Clownstick. And that part is true enough -- McCain was a thousand times the man Fuckface Von Clownstick could ever aspire to be. Balls, charm, and a real sense of humor, all things that Clownstick thinks he has, but is in fact entirely bereft of.

Who Is America?

Slow holiday weekend, and I fully plan on indulging myself by doing as little as possible -- finishing up a couple of books, playing guitar, knocking back a beer or three, maybe doing a little writing (political and otherwise). So we're getting a free weekend of Showtime, featuring the Season 1 marathon of Sacha Baron Cohen's latest project.

Baron Cohen is a bit of a mixed bag for me; at times his cringe-inducing brand of comedy can be uproariously funny, at other times merely gross. Who Is America? fills both bills adequately right from the start, opening the first episode with SBC's southern conservative journalist character (complete with motorized scooter, natch) baiting Bernie Sanders, following that with a segment featuring SBC playing a paroled prisoner who "paints" with his own feces and semen, pitching his "art" to a credulous gallery owner.

I guess I'd give it a qualified recommendation -- there are few genuine surprises to be had, but that is probably in part due to the fact that we now live in a world where truth isn't truth, a demented old bastard runs the country, and nothing is really surprising anymore, primarily because we've all been forced to confront how said demented old bastard got into office. Reminding us that there are morons and assholes among us, many of them in positions of power, is no longer funny or cathartic. Irony suffered a mortal blow after 9/11, but now it's dead and ground into sausage.

That said, clearly a lot of work has gone into this, mainly in the variety of characters SBC has crafted to gull the dupes into revealing themselves. It's worth watching just for that, though again some segments are more worthy than others. Your mileage will vary, and you enter at your own risk.

One of the more relatively innocuous segments occurs in the second episode, where some interchangeable Bachelor dingbat gets tricked by the decadent Italian billionaire photographer character into doing a PSA for child soldiers. [rolls eyes] Yes, you read that right.

What makes this slightly more interesting is when a teevee critic decides to get in on the hijinks, and decry the seeming fish-in-a-barrel quality of the segment:
What is this segment trying to satirize, exactly? That a woman who’s already been used as a tool in multiple TV ratings ploys would make a fool of herself again? That she’s absurdly compliant with the demands of celebrity, to the point that she’ll go along with any script she’s given? At its most damning, the segment is a swipe at how happy Olympios is to be on television, and what exactly she’s willing to do for publicity.


But the segment does raise questions about Who Is America? and its goals. Why is this reality star a target? Why is the assumption that it’s hilarious to watch a powerful man manipulate a fame-hungry, clueless younger woman?
Those are an awful lot of questions that fail to see the (to me, anyway) rather obvious point of it all: what sort of "culture" routinely makes these random idiots famous and wealthy? Obviously, from movie B-girls to music and sports groupies, the entertainment industry has always used young women willing to do anything (and I mean anything) for what? Fifteen minutes of....well, it's not exactly fame, but let's call it attention of a sort.

The girl in question struck a very dim glimmer of memory, of someone perhaps seen in the "Entertainment" section of the Google News aggregator, a section that becomes increasingly irrelevant as it is overtaken by the children and stepchildren of one of O.J. Simpson's lawyers in his trial a quarter-century ago for murdering his wife and her friend. [Ah, fame! -- Ed.]

And indeed, Corinne Olympios first achieved the glories of name recognition when she caused the dating show she was on to be investigated for allegations of sexual misconduct, when Olympios got one of the male contestants to perform oral sex on her.

You want the epitome of meta-cynicism, folks, there you have it -- a cynical audience watching a cynical exercise in which cynical idiots pretend to be competing for love, filmed and edited to be as cynically manipulative as possible, and to encourage moral judgments from the audience. I've always considered myself a hopelessly cynical bastard, but this sort of shit is a depth beyond me.

Is it possible that that is at least part of what Sacha Baron Cohen is trying to send up here, using a character that is a crude, vulgar distillation of the gaudy Lifestyles of the Rich and Shameless bullshit that captivated American couch potatoes for years? That's yet another level of cynicism that we've all just taken for granted for decades -- this idea that people who actually work for a living would like nothing more than to have their noses rubbed in the mostly unearned and inherited excesses of tacky swells and net-worth assholes.

In fact, that might have been the one way for SBC to top the routine meta-cynical excesses of the Bachelorette types, and the rotten, soulless anti-culture that's sprung up around it. There is a clear cultural connection between that sort of mindless Ow My Balls! bullshit, and its current political by-products. Maybe the teevee critic's error was in assuming that Baron Cohen was only interested in duping the Roy Moore types, and not thinking that maybe people like Corinne Olympios also participate in something that is ultimately harmful to the mental health of the people who are hooked on it.

When everything turns into a cheesy wink and a nod, a joke that we're all in on but continue to beat into the ground long after it stopped being funny or interesting, it can't be too surprising when we eventually get what we have now. Random jerkoffs with no discernible talent "monetizing" their side hustles on Instagram and YouTube, hoping to parlay that into some "reality" teevee bullshit, and thence into some Kardashian-Jenner quadrant of Satan's asshole, pimping collagen creams and taint waxes and such like.

Given the longstanding prevalence of this nonsense, it makes a certain perverted sense that a fake tycoon with fake hair and skin and a third trophy wife, a man who brags that he shits in a gold toilet in a marble tower, would be received by a sufficient number of certifiable dipshits as an authentic hero of the working class.

Ex Type Thing

It normally wouldn't be worth the time to read, much less repost, gossip-column bullshit from the third ex-wife of that vile fuckhead Ghouliani. It's hard to imagine what sort of person could possibly give a shit what such a person has to say about much of anything; listening to someone who took up with a married man with a long history of cheating has no right to whine about him when he inevitably steps out on her. You knew what you were getting into, honey.

What is interesting is that she strongly implies that Rudy's a fall-down, starting-to-pickle-his-aging-brain alky. Which would explain his summer of embarrassment, trying lamely over and over to get his story straight, never quite getting it right no matter how many tries the Fixed Noise flying monkeys give him.

And it also fits perfectly with the larger, greater pattern for the fucktards currently lawn-darting the country and sucking its blood -- not just blatant cronyism, but inept cronyism:  the dingbat daughter and failson-in-law; the two failsons-by-blood; the cabinet full of dipshits and dweebs and money-grubbing slime. The rest of Clownstick's lawyers come off just as stupid and venal as the "man" himself, so Count Drunkula fits right in with the rest of the lot. It's dipshits all the way down.

The end of the article is the cherry on the cake:
Estimates peg Rudy’s net worth at around $45 million, and to their infinite chagrin, his enablers cannot enable him now. The president’s lawyer doesn’t have a prenup.
Perfect. I hope she takes him to the cleaners, and then makes a large donation to Kirsten Gillibrand's and/or Elizabeth Warren's 2020 presidential run.

Sunday, August 26, 2018

Verbum Dei

One of the more tedious ongoing narratives in the current mediasphere is the supposed rending of garments in the Catholic church over (surprise!) the roughly ten-millionth "revelation" of pederast priests raping and abusing children. That it's a subject yet again for "discussion" merely reiterates once again the utter paucity of ideas, of clear thought, of individuals in free societies deciding to once and for all during their brief existences on the mortal plane of flesh and futility to assert their own rights.

There are few good things about religion, any religion, and they're generally outweighed by all the bad things. But perhaps the best thing about religion, even in a frequently puritanical country like the United States, is that it's purely voluntary. No one makes any adult go to church, any church, and certainly no one forces anyone to stay in any church that preys on their children and their wallets.

No matter what this or any pope says about his internal anguish over these vile events, the prime directive of that position is to preserve the organizational structure, to do nothing that would threaten the authority of the hierarchy, and its sacred ability to prise cash from it eternal customers. That's not going to change, no matter how "progressive" the current pope's views are on gays and atheists and such. The job description remains what it's always been for two millennia.

The good news is that most of the major western churches have been losing younger customers, who simply aren't sufficiently interested or motivated to join a club with dues they can't pay and rules they won't obey. Especially in 'murka, where self-help books and lifestyle gurus function as the secular religion of the would-be upwardly mobile. The "solace" that religion can provide pales in comparison to the possibility of consumerist redemption in the temple of the holy kardashian.

So the dilemma for the spiritually conflicted is actually fairly simple:  either you support this, with your dollars and your commitment, or you don't. Rationalizing with "times have changed" bunkum won't help, not after the next eventual revelation, and the one after that, and so on. If they want to be Charlie Brown to the pope's Lucy, and keep on believin' that this time they'll get to kick the football, they are welcome to it. But the rest of us don't care and don't want to know.

Then again, like all "news" stories, the article and those like it aren't meant to reach or inform the ordinary reader, the peon with plenty of opinions but no power whatsoever. What we think of as news is really just the amalgamation of elites talking to each other, and filtered out to the masses as manufactured, pre-approved consent. Whether the priest wears a collar and speaks Latin, or wears a suit and spews state-sponsored bullshit, the result is the same.

Saturday, August 25, 2018

Company Man

Well, it's the end of the line for the Straight Talk Express, and as we all brace ourselves for a weeklong onslaught of corporate media b-roll hagiography, it helps to keep John McCain's legacy in a balanced perspective. Erik Loomis at LGM has a pretty thorough rundown of McCain's career, warts and all.

And you know, turns out it really is mostly warts. I've written in this here jernt countless times over the years of McCain's genuine sacrifice in the Hanoi Hilton, and it would take a lot to offset that level of service -- regardless of the rightness or wrongness of the Vietnam War itself, and of McCain's job of dropping death on poor rural villagers. But a thorough review of McCain's personal life upon return from Vietnam, and especially of his actual record as a senator, shows that if it doesn't offset his brutal torture, he sure as hell gave it a shot.

To be fair, McCain does actually seem to have been mostly a right-wing reactionary by temperament. So that part at least wasn't cynical. And Loomis chronicles McCain's misdeeds quite well in the link, so I won't reiterate them.

Where McCain succeeded mostly was in burnishing his (admittedly respectable) quals as a tortured combat veteran, and in sussing out the very same thing that his arch-nemesis Fuckface Von Clownstick, Grand Imperator of the Empire of Dirt, First of His Name, figured out about marketing oneself -- the media are surprisingly willing to take your calls if you want to jump in front of their cameras and spout just about any old thing. McCain was funny and quick on his feet, and adept at exploiting that mediot weakness. Press the Meat would have had McCain on every fucking Sunday in a reserved luxury recliner, if he'd been available. And you can be sure McCain knew it.

So it's hard to just dump on McCain for being a bit of a bastard over the years. Like anyone, he had his flaws, he just happened to be better at using his personal history to conceal or override those flaws And most of what he did and stood for, he was quite sincere about. In the end, it was his most nakedly cynical move -- selecting the jabbering dunce Sarah Palin as his running mate -- that undid him.

We can remember John McCain for everything, good and bad. He willingly took more physical punishment than most people would or could, and he paid a massive physical (and no doubt mental and spiritual) price for it. He also made a reasonably good-faith attempt to atone for his campaign-finance corruption with the McCain-Feingold bill. And his midnight vote to save Obamacare last year probably saved many lives, and gave the finger to a lot of people who thoroughly deserved it.

And yet. Palin's selection as running mate accelerated the empowerment of the barrel-bottom dimbulb GOP base, which we are all now paying the price for, and will for decades to come, probably. And after McCain announced his cancer as terminal, as he vocally decried the perfidious machinations of the aforementioned Clownstick and his satanic minions, McCain could easily have made one last effort for his country, one that would have required no sacrifice at all, as he was already on his way out the door.

He could have stood with the Democrats on any number of recent issues, and preserved a 50-50 stalemate, instead of (like his fellow Arizona senator, Jeff Flake) indulging in cheap grandstanding about his damned principles, and then voting right along with this paper tyrant he and Flake kept squawking about.

McCain was much more establishment hack than gutsy maverick, but even there it's useful to observe how that weird dichotomy persisted, and to understand the mediocracy's role in perpetuating that myth. Politicians -- at least ones that stay in office -- are as much marketer as policy maker or anything else, and so if a politician is able to use "news" programs to effectively market transparent myths and falsehoods for decades, it is more an indictment of the media than of the politician who figured out how to use the media. That's not victim-blaming, that's noting that the game is rigged, and the refs are lousy at their jobs.

But whatever. Like many before him and many to come, McCain was wrong about many things, but as the saying goes, he was wrong within normal parameters. He was a true character -- pugnacious, funny, somehow managing to be self-deprecating and smarmy in the same sentence at times. He provided a solid contrast to the emotionally retarded thug sitting in the White House, and the cadre of feckless, gutless enablers on Capitol Hill.

The cultists think Clownstick is some kind of tough guy, that he's an alpha dog. Bullshit. McCain was a bona-fide tough guy, and it's a sad irony that so many of the pussy cultists prefer to piss on the grave of a mostly honorable man, in the service of someone who doesn't have an honorable bone in his fat orange body.

We wish he had been a better man, and done more good things that he could easily have done, but we'll also miss the guy. Rest in peace, Senator.

Friday, August 24, 2018

You Can't Be Neutral On a Moving Train

I think Steve is on to something here, that the one thing that could make Clownstick's base start to turn on him is if they felt like he wasn't owning libtards sufficiently. I would (and previously have, in various iterations) suggest that he really isn't doing that anymore, not that he ever really was. It just hasn't been adequately conveyed to them as such yet.

Don't bother reading or even skimming the soi-disant conservatard rags, your National Review and Weekly Standard and such like. We all know full well that your average basetard does not read such twaddle -- indeed, they clearly don't read any books or publications at all, preferring instead to get their talking points from whatever misspelled meme in their Facebook feed that rings their bell.

Strategically, it helps to step back and understand the base for precisely what they are, in as close to an ideological sense as possible. True, there is no orthodox ideology with these folks; it really does revolve around either whatever they think will annoy the librul caricatures that permanently squat in their fever dreams, or whatever jingoistic nonsense that strokes their outrage boner.

And so while they consider themselves "conservatives," what they really are is reactionaries. There is a difference, and it's an extremely important one. And among the cruder, more emotional and anti-intellectual of that breed, it's not even just about rolling the clock back, but about the fight itself. The struggle, the kampf, the jihad. The holy effort against the minions of the evil Other.

Ultimately they become identified -- and most critically, identify themselves -- by their opposition to things. What are they for, any of them? Beyond the ridonkulous spray-tan glow of their cult leader, they really aren't for anything. They just have an idea, carefully nurtured and watered by constant exposure to the UV rays of Fixed Noise, of what "liberals" are "like," and what "they" "want." All without ever actually asking or listening to or even just observing an actual liberal.

Cruz Control

This GQ article is a fine rundown of the Texas Senate race. Just read it, and soak in all the Rafael Cruz-y goodness. He's sticking with that "this human suit is getting itchy" schtick of his. Whatever works, fucko.

Seriously. The US Senate is teeming with assholes. Mitch "the Bitch" McConnell. Orrin "Saint Insufferable" Hatch. Marco "Pool Boy" Rubio. Rand "Serdechniy Droog" Paul. Obviously there are others. But Cruz manages to stand out even among that crowd of losers as a gaping asshole.

Cruz's worst traits are actually of the more subtle, nuanced type, but just as telling as (for example) McConnell's open-court poaching of two SCOTUS seats in less than two years. But you decide for yourselves which of these two salient Cruz facts paints him in a worse light:

  • During the 2016 campaign, Clownstick called Cruz's wife ugly and insinuated that Cruz's father (who, to be fair, is both certifiably insane and, like his son, a gaping asshole) was involved in the JFK assassination. Cruz still sucks Clownstick's mini-cheeto every chance he gets, probably because he thinks he'll eventually get a SCOTUS appointment. Or maybe because he just has no self-respect. Does it really matter?
  • As a child, Cruz sent money to Jesse Helms. Read that again, aloud if need be. AS A CHILD, RAFAEL EDWARD "TED" CRUZ SENT MONEY TO JESSE FUCKING HELMS. Maybe Cruz's whackjob evangelist dad made him sleep in the yard with the dog or something. But seriously, imagine the sort of "child" that sends money to a monster like Jesse Helms, instead of, I dunno, buying comic books and candy bars and the sorts of things Earth children buy with their money.
There's something deeply wrong with someone like that. He should consider himself lucky he's running against Beto O'Rourke, and not someone like, well, me. Because it's fucking Texas, where men are men and sheep are scared. And I can assure you, at every goddamn whistle stop I hit, I'd make damn sure to pick some random middle-aged gent out of the crowd, bring him up on stage for a minute, and it'd go something like this:
HEYWOOD J.:  Sir, can I ask you your name?
RANDOM MAN:  Rusty Shackleford.
HEYWOOD J: We've never met before, is that correct, sir?
SHACKLEFORD: Nope, never met.
HEYWOOD J.:  Mr. Shackleford, are you married?
HEYWOOD J.:  Now, this might seem like a silly question but, do you love your wife?
HEYWOOD J.:  What about your folks, do you love and honor and respect your parents?
SHACKLEFORD (growing concerned):  Well, of course.
HEYWOOD J.:  Yes sir, just establishing your bona-fides. This is Texas, and so I know you love your wife and your parents. So Mr. Shackleford, if another man disrespected your wife and your parents, what might be your reaction?
SHACKLEFORD (smiling, but also frowning):  Well, I guess I'd have to kick his ass. (chuckles)
HEYWOOD J.:  I expect you would, sir, as any decent man would. So what would you think of a man who called another man's wife ugly, and said his father killed JFK, and that second man not only didn't do anything about it, but tried to suck up to that first man who slandered his family? Now, we know how you'd feel about the first man, but how about the second man, the guy who had his wife and father insulted, and still wanted to be friends with the man who insulted them?
SHACKLEFORD (getting confused and a bit angry):  Well, shit -- sorry -- but that don't make any sense, what you're saying. You mean, the first guy calls the second guy's wife a pig, and then the first guy says the second guy's dad's a killer, and the second guy not only don't do nothin' about it, but he tries to pal up with that first guy?
HEYWOOD J.:  Yes sir, that's exactly what I'm asking you.
SHACKLEFORD (pauses, measuring his words):  Well, Jesus Christ, I really don't know, 'cause I honestly don't think I've come across someone that....shit, that gutless. Hell, I'd have less respect for the second guy, tell ya the truth. First guy's an asshole, no doubt. But that second guy, don't stand up for his wife or his dad? [widens eyes in exasperation] I'd say he needs a good ass-kickin' too!
HEYWOOD J.:  Yes sir, right you are. Just for the record, the first guy in the story is Donald Trump, and the second guy is Ted Cruz.
And I'd video that shit and put it up on fucking YouTube, over and over and fucking over again. Because it captures the intangibles that motivate people to vote with passion. They don't vote on this or that policy position, especially for a fucking senate seat. They vote on who moves them. And nothing's going to stir their contempt more than a smarmy little asshole who lets a clown shit on the mother of his children, and on his own father, and still fucking sucks up to him like a cheap Port Authority hooker to her pimp in a bad Starsky & Hutch knock-off.

I hope O'Rourke steps up and knocks his fucking block off, because it will win that Senate seat for him. That's the kind of thing that will galvanize the vote.

Wednesday, August 22, 2018

They Ask Questions

Not to single any particular person out, but this seems to sum up what a lot of people are supposing right about now:

Perfectly reasonable, right? Here's how the Human Centipede Administration answers that question:
The fuck you gonna DO about it, pal?
You have to admit, they're not wrong in that stance. What are you gonna do about it? Vote? Sure, if they allow you to, if Deripaska's Macedonian troll farm hasn't purged you off the rolls, if Brian Kemp hasn't prevented every black person in Georgia from voting against his enlightened despotism.

Recall that we've already had two (yes, two) presidential elections stolen just in this century, right in front of us, and no one did a goddamned thing about it. But just for sport, let's play along and say that you do get to vote and there is a blue tsunami and the Dummycrats reclaim the House and get to a 50-50 split in the Senate. Not enough to impeach and convict, but enough to control the House committees and jam up Traitor Bitch McConnell's daily efforts to skull-fuck what's left of the republic. Okay, now what?

We'll, I've been telling you since day one of this ongoing hemorrhoid what. The cornered rodent currently squatting in the White House will not only continue what he's been doing all along, he'll accelerate, increase, amplify. Because, again (you may have heard this one before):
The fuck you gonna DO about it, pal?
Everything is an act of defiance, a self-stroking of the imperial mini-cheeto, for no greater reason than to prove that he can, and to defy all comers to stop him. Imagine a four-year-old throwing a shit-fit in the cereal aisle for two years running, and a parent that lacks the will to step up and be a fucking parent. The supermarket workers are lamely standing at the edges of the scene asking the parent to take their asshole kid anywhere else, but the workers, the parent, and most importantly the asshole child all know they won't actually step up and shut it down.

And so the show goes on, because in this instant, the child has an entire propaganda network at his beck and call. Imagine -- dozens of supposedly professional careerists, basically just sitting around waiting for their marching orders from a demented old man who spends more time fixing his hilarious hair and skin than actually working.

When this is all over -- indeed, if it ever actually ends and this fucking turd is finally flushed for good -- there will be efforts from some corner to "reconcile," as if flat-out treason can ever be reconciled. At that point, lists need to be drawn up, and every single one of these Fixed Noise fuckers, right down to the kid that puts down the gaffer's tape, needs to be permanently blackballed from any sort of employment anywhere within a mile of government or news. They can all go ply their trade with fifty-cent blowjobs in the abandoned industrial park where the Beemer plant used to be before Cheetolini decided he knew more about tariffs than everyone else.

I'm not hardly kidding about this. If we ever get out of this jam, and if you really want to prevent it from happening again, they all have to pay dearly. Scorched earth. No quarter. What would General Sherman do?

Last Chance for Democracy?

With about seventy-five days and counting until midterms, it's important that voters -- well, let's be honest, Democratic voters -- need to not only be sure that they show up to vote, they need to take a few minutes beforehand and make sure they're still allowed to vote. These motherless fucks are perfectly willing to cheat and steal what they cannot win fairly. That fact should not be surprising.

So it's a good time to repost Ed Burmila's article about that very thing. Check in with your local county elections office, make sure you're still registered, that some teenager in a Macedonian troll farm owned by a Russian oligarch hasn't hacked the rolls and purged you and your neighbors off.

They are scum. They have no principles, no scruples, no reservations at all about stealing this thing. Take a few minutes while you still have time and make sure that they can't. Because if you think the last couple years have been hell, just imagine what it's going to be like if these bastards hang on to power, and assert an electoral mandate to do their worst.

Ladies' Night

Look, no one is ever going to mistake me for Brad Pitt, and I'm sure this will annoy many of my politically correct fellow travelers, but the takeaway from this Daily Crawler puff piece is that the four, um, females (I guess) are most notable for the fact that the Most Femnist Parsdent Evar would be the first to tell everyone how completely homely and unfuckable they are.

To paraphrase an old joke, if symptoms persist after four hours, don't worry about calling your doctor -- just look at that photo.

But the main point is not a joke. If Ronna RMONEY McDaniel takes her name back, or Baghdad Barb Huckabilly Sanders has a come-to-Jebus moment and renounces her ongoing service to Satan, or Kellyanne Conway has to make a decision between her marriage and her "career" as political fluffer, you can bet real cash that at some point, Mister Grab 'em by the Pussy will be sure to drop some sort of "looksist" shade on them. Count on it.

No insult is too small, no detail too petty. He's a doddering, senile piece-of-shit with a tenth-rate intellect and a memory of a concussion victim, but the one thing that asshole tattoos on his perfectly smooth brain is fucking grudges. They used to say that Barbara Bush knew how to hate, but Fuckface Von Clownstick lives for it. And if any of these dingbats turns on him, he will get personal. It's his go-to move.

In the meantime, if women have no problem selling their souls -- as well as other women -- to a serial predator, I have no compunction about calling 'em as I see 'em. They're fugly as sin, inside and out.

Hate Rally Arena Capacity Update

The Charleston Civic Center has a maximum capacity of 13,600. It is not clear how full the arena was for the rally, but since this inbred-rube habitat of a state is still 2:1 in the tank for Commander Combover, it's entirely possible that it was packed, with more dullards milling around the parkin' lot bemoaning their luck. But hey, just being in proximity to his musky greatness has to be intoxicating, amirite?

Given the two shoes dropping yesterday, His Travesty has to be on the verge of a total meltdown, and he certainly had some moments last night. Remember, these stupid rallies are always under the pretense of campaigning for this or that local dipshit's congressional effort. In this case the stop was for whatever sap is running for Joe Manchin's Senate seat. But of course the candidate gets about two minutes to state his case, then he just straps on to daddy's back fat and rides for an hour or so.

There was one clip that's been replayed a few times already this morning, where Shithead repeats the word "collusion" five times in the space of about ten seconds, maybe twenty words total. The last iteration of the c-word is oddly singsong. It's like he thinks the repetition of the word has some sort of magickal property, as if Candyman or Sarah Palin will suddenly appear behind them. Certainly it does seem to lull the cult into their rally trance.

So here's the deal for these retard rally motherfuckers -- this is collusion, or more accurately, conspiracy. Disingenuous snipes about how Mueller's investigation has sprawled, or how Manafort is getting convicted for less-than-recent crimes, will only fool the willingly gulled. It's like they're suddenly finding out that racketeering investigations seldom end where they started, or that a serial-killing thug like Al Capone finally got tapped for tax evasion.

There's this show that's been on the air for some time, in multiple iterations, called Law & Order. Perhaps some of these epistemic-closure doofuses have heard of it.

The continuation of the "lock her up" chant, after all this time, may be the most salient point about the true intellectual level of these crowds. They are collectively dumber than a fucking box of rocks. You wouldn't trust a single one of these dopes to clean your gutters or change the oil on your car.

Not that anyone who would attend one of these rallies would be caught dead reading this blog, but there's always that off chance that one of the bigger librul fish sees this and amplifies this minor observation:
The Republican Party currently controls all three branches of government. If they wanted to initiate an investigation into Hillary Clinton for anything, from Uranium One to Her Emails, they could have started multiple such investigations at any time. At some point it may dawn on at least one (1) of these knuckle-dragging, cousin-fucking gastropods that there's a reason that no such investigation has occurred, or is even being proposed. DURRRR, WHY D'YA THINK THAT IS, GEEN-YUSS?
Hell, it might even dawn on one of our intrepid corporate mediots to ask that very same question, to the rubes and to the key players in this five-monkeys-fucking-a-football clusterfuck of an administration. Just keep asking it, over and over and over until their heads asplode, instead of stenographing his lies and their trained-seal responses to each of them.

It wouldn't hurt to also remind them periodically that the revenue from all that faggy magat swag they sport goes to pay off the skanks their hero porked a decade or so ago. For someone who's such a great deal-maker, he sure seems to pay a lot for sex.

Sunday, August 19, 2018


The Universe, God --
a celestial cat with infinite paws
      and infinite claws
            an infinite number of mice to play with
a lucky few get away for awhile
the rest are caught and let go,
      caught and let go,
for just long enough to think they're free
      in the light, in the clear
            out in the open air
if only for a moment

until the day, somewhere down the road
after all the hopes and dreams and ambitions
      all the love and sex and passion
            have come and gone
                  stumbled back and gone again
                        this time forever

....the mouse looks up, spent
      Just eat me, fucker.

Don't Do Something, Just Stand There!

The good folks at LGM have been all over what would be a Big Story, if we had a remotely competent corporate media. But since they're too busy transcribing Judy Ghouliani's "truth isn't truth" lies and stroking their chins about the meaning of it all, it mostly goes unnoticed.

Two Republican Secretaries of State, Kris K. (for Kansas) Kobach of Kansas, and Brian C. (for Cheater) Kemp of Georgia, are running for governor of their respective states. Kobach is perhaps most notorious for chairing the rigger voter fraud commission that FAILED in its mission to manufacture evidence of widespread (or even narrowly spread) fraudulent voting. Kemp's profile is a bit lower, but he deserves credit for stealing the GA-06 seat for Karen Handel (who also has a history of voter suppression when she was Georgia's Secretary of State) last year.

It's not an unfair question to pose to these scumbags:  why bother holding elections at all? Seriously, if they're not even bothering to conceal their cheating and rigging of the electoral system, why even bother? Let's just go full fashy and y'all can tell the peons who they voted for.

But this takes agency away from said peons. Kansans need to step up and take responsibility for their decisions, and start atoning for voting for a clown like Sam Brownback over and over again. The state is absolutely gutted, and they're lining up to have a two-by-four snapped off in their asses by Kobach. At some point people have to start paying attention and showing up, and not getting gulled over and over again by the last flag-humping teevee commercial they see before they go to cast their lot.

Georgia's predicament is a bit more transparent -- a white power minority (only slightly different from a white-power minority) preserving power over a black majority with several methods -- closing most of the polling places, throwing voters off of registration rolls, etc. They know they can't win fair and square, so they cheat and cheat and cheat some more. And no one does a goddamned thing about it.

Maybe disenfranchised voters should organize via this "social media" thing we keep hearing about, and organize a collective strike for a day or several. Maybe they should identify all of Kemp's corporate campaign sponsors and organize a boycott.

And maybe some politicians from the so-called Democratic Party could step up and make some noise too. I don't just mean the Chuck and Nancy show. How about former Georgia governor and noted fan of electoral integrity Jimmy Carter? How about recent president Barack Obama, if he's not too busy parasailing at Richard Branson's private Bahamian island? Former attorney general Eric Holder, mighty crusader against guitar companies and potheads? All of those people could at least raise a ruckus about this situation. But they don't even try. They never do. They'll mumble some bullshit platitudes about not wanting to corrupt the process, never mind that Kemp and Kobach and their ilk couldn't give half a fuck about corrupting the process.

Think about it -- Kemp and Kobach are openly rigging their own elections for themselves, right out in the open, and no one with any power is doing or saying a goddamned thing about it. And they're gonna get away with it.

Citizens do need to step up and exercise their franchise, as it were. But regular folks only have so much time to do such things, after commuting and working and finding some precious time in what little is left of the day to live their lives, knowing every moment of their debt-slave existence is befouled by the banana republic bullshit being rubbed in their faces every fucking day.

The future is going to be a lot uglier; it is absolutely going to get worse before it gets better, if indeed it ever really does. And this is how it starts, with the "small" stuff, stealing an election here and there, working the refs, knowing that the media exists to stenograph lies and truth side-by-side, naively thinking an addled populace will magically be able to suss the truth.

But in a world where lies are truth and truth is irrelevant, all that matters is the art of the steal. It would be a lot less disgusting and demoralizing to watch if some of the folks who seem to have a bottomless pocket of empty bromides for every occasion helped out a bit and gave the good guys a fighting chance once in a while. Instead they'll show up a week after the election somewhere on the rubber chicken circuit for $50k, to offer some cheap observations about our better angels or some such nonsense.

Allow me to be the first to pre-emptively say to them fuck you and the horse you rode in on.