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Tuesday, March 15, 2005

See Bobo Run

Does it get any more useless, more utterly clueless and retarded, than David Brooks? Outside of the Moonie Times or the North Korean press (which are less different from each other than you might imagine), we think not. And yet, just when we figure he can't out-stupid himself, he goes and proves us wrong. Bad Bobo!


Republican blunders: Republicans often argue that Democrats are out of touch with mainstream Americans, but this time it was the Republicans who were trapped in the insulated world of their own think tanks.

Having skimmed decades of private-account proposals, Republicans did not appreciate how unfamiliar this idea would seem to many people. They didn't appreciate how beloved Social Security is, and how much they would have to show they love it, too, before voters would trust them to reform it. In their efforts to create a risk-taking, dynamic society, they didn't appreciate how many people, including conservatives, value security and safety.


Um, duh. Imagine that -- a bunch of inbred corporate-owned wonks thought they knew what was best for reg'lar folks, and got theyselves showed up. Isn't that what happened to Kerry last November? Bobo seemed to think so way back then. But this is now.


A politically supple group would have done tax reform before Social Security reform. Tax reform is a less partisan issue, and might have set a precedent for compromise.

More experienced negotiators might have put the solvency issue before the personal-accounts issue. That would have created a consensus on the need for change before we got to the divisive issue of how to fix the system.


Is this guy for real? He seems to think he is. It's almost cute that he truly appears to think that the real goal is to "fix" or "reform" Social Security. It is not. For the thousandth time, the Republicans have already admitted that the plan isn't even written yet. Does anyone with a three-digit IQ need any more evidence that they are not serious about mending, but only about ending? (Uh, to loosely paraphrase the dude that got his pole smoked. Dude, that rocked!)


But Republican leaders have never really developed the skills required for cross-party horse-trading. Today's Republicans emerged in response to the ideological politics of the 1960's and were forged in the anti-political populism of the 1994 revolution. These anti-political creatures of conviction find sticking to orthodoxy easier than the art of compromise.


If there's one thing about Bobo that really makes my blood boil, this is it -- this backhanded Matlock bullshit, about how the durned 'publicans are just too danged honest n' forthright for their own good. Maybe not Matlock so much as Unfrozen Caveman Lawyer. One of those guys. Yeah, that's the ticket -- "Man On Dog" Santorum and "Cat Killer" Frist are just too dad-burned principled to cotton with the likes o' the rest of 'em. One almost expects Roscoe P. Coltrane to get right on the case.


Democratic blunders: The Democrats are still traumatized by their own losses. They are focused on past defeats, not future opportunities, and interested in revenge, not governing and accomplishment.


Okay. Look back to Bobo's previous paragraph. Observe what he picks as pivotal moments in modern Republican party philosophy -- the '60s and 1994. Were they or were they not forged in the fire of bitter defeat, and were they or were they not defined by the stubborness of the party's principals (and principles)? So which is it, Fucko -- the hammer or the anvil?

This asshole cannot even be intellectually consistent for two stinking paragraphs. Just how is it that he keeps his job -- amazing deep-throat technique?

More seriously though, what exactly would Bobo have the Democrats do here? Bush has spent two months gallivanting around our fair land, preaching the gospel without any real plan. Really, what should a good opposition party do in this instance? Kowtow to Bush and beg his beneficence, and trust that the plan will be delivered and discussed in due time and good faith, like every single other plan from this gang? Really? If that's really what Bobo was expecting here, then he is impossibly even more useless and retarded than we had previously supposed. This guy must ride a fucking short bus to work or something.

Bobo seriously thinks that a good opposition should just get with the program, and get used to grabbing their ankles for whatever cockamamie scam this hopelessly reckless and uninformed chief executive decides is a good spot to invest his vaunted "political capital" and test his "mandate". This is not just poor writing, it's piss-poor thinking. I'm genuinely surprised Bobo wasn't considered for a Cabinet post in this administration.


When Social Security reform was broached, the party leaders went to the F.D.R. Memorial, as if the glory days of the 1930's were the guideposts for the 21st century. Meanwhile, the party base has grown militant with rage. The Howard Dean hotheads declare that they hate the evil Republicans, making compromise seem like collaborating with Satan. The militants, bloggers and polemicists have waged a relentless pressure campaign on any moderates who might even be thinking of offering constructive ideas.


Jesus H. Christ. You wanna know why "the party base has grown militant with rage", Bobo? Because your guy has willingly, gleefully pushed them into a corner, asshole. Do you know what a cornered animal does, Bobo? No, of course you don't -- you call a red-state rube to handle such things, and then try to talk him into cleaning your gutters, while you observe him anthropologically for his noble savage ways.

Fucking moron. Bush and his claque have shit all over middle-class Americans, their civil rights, and their long-term financial stability, rubbed all our noses in it, and Bobo wonders why people are pissed. This must be why he gets the big bucks.


If Social Security reform fails - and obviously I hope this obit becomes obsolete - it will be many years before any sort of big entitlement reform will come up again. The parties will keep playing chicken, and we will soon find ourselves catastrophically buried under our own debt.


It sounds like Bobo is at least sentient enough to know that his little jig (and hopefully gig) is about up. Despite the fear-mongering and back-patting from America's favorite glad-handing sack of shit, the road show has failed enormously, partially due to the fundamental dishonesty of it all, partly because the more the Bushies tell the truth about themselves, the less Americans like what they hear. Look at any poll from the last two years or so.


Oh, yes, there's one more group to be criticized: the American voters. For the past 30 years, Americans have wanted high entitlement spending and low taxes. From the looks of things today, they - or more precisely their children - are going to live with the consequences.


This one I'll actually give him. Bobo's right on this count -- if Americans read up on all the facts, and all the bullshit, and synthesize it properly, and they still keep putting Bush and his minions of stupid back in charge, then maybe they deserve what they get. They do. But we don't.

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