"Political language -- and with variations this is true of all political parties, from Conservatives to Anarchists -- is designed to make lies sound truthful and murder respectable, and to give an appearance of solidity to pure wind."
-- George Orwell, Politics and the English Language
Translate
Saturday, July 20, 2013
The Universe Thinks I Deserve a Worsening
Dammit, how is it that I didn't know about this site? Nothing against Jeff Bridges or Ryan Reynolds, but R.I.P.D. looks DOA, and few things are better than funny bad reviews.
It's ineffably good, that's how bad it is. I love that shit. Did he have a stroke while typing the review? Did his kitchen robot take over while he was out to take a leak? Did he write it in Finnish and had some Chinese website machine-translate for him? Are the gods just fucking with us? We'll never know.
Yet the suck that is making movies over and over the same makes my sitting butt crack wish that no longer the theater I must inhabit. I stand by this."
The website says he moved from Finland to NY and "learned English." I think this is highly elaborate performance art. It's Finglish, even better than Engrish, which I adore; and is heavily peppered with that Scandinavian bluntness that gives his review that extra bite. Move over, Television Without Pity.
3 comments:
Yeah, looks pretty bad. And hell, I'm amazed that THIS got made: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt2724064/
It's ineffably good, that's how bad it is. I love that shit. Did he have a stroke while typing the review? Did his kitchen robot take over while he was out to take a leak? Did he write it in Finnish and had some Chinese website machine-translate for him? Are the gods just fucking with us? We'll never know.
From his review of Footloose:
"Why is there this stencil-like remake anyway?
Are you stupider, already? MONEY!
I love it as much (more) than you (money).
Yet the suck that is making movies over and over the same makes my sitting butt crack wish that no longer the theater I must inhabit. I stand by this."
The website says he moved from Finland to NY and "learned English." I think this is highly elaborate performance art. It's Finglish, even better than Engrish, which I adore; and is heavily peppered with that Scandinavian bluntness that gives his review that extra bite. Move over, Television Without Pity.
Post a Comment