Thursday, August 20, 2015

OK Stupid

So looks like good ol' Josh Duggar has stepped on his dick yet again, getting caught in the Ashley Madison hack not only as a denizen of that site, but apparently he has an OK Cupid account as well. Knock me over with a feather.

Unlike sanctimonious, holier-than-thou shitheads like, well, the entire Duggar family, most of us realize that humans are messy, complex, full of contradictions and complications. The difference is that most of us do not earn a cushy living trying to legislate morality for all.

Now that he's good and killed his family's cash cow, and there's not even enough scraps left to make stew out of, Joshie tries to get out in front this mess with a bullshit apology.

"I have been the biggest hypocrite ever. While espousing faith and family values, I have secretly over the last several years been viewing pornography on the internet and this became a secret addiction and I became unfaithful to my wife," Duggar said in a statement Thursday.

He did not specifically address Ashley Madison in his statement, which was issued in the wake of the hackers' data dump and later modified to omit the reference to pornography.

It's always some temptation put there by Satan, isn't it? That's their default response -- they can't just admit to being creepy assholes, it's the demon rum, the promise of the forbidden flesh, what have you. I'd bet most married people have managed to enjoy their share of porn without then turning to hookup sites to cheat on each other.

Let's hazard two semi-educated guesses here:
  • The reason Josh Duggar fucks around on his wife is the same reason he finger-blasted little girls when he was a teenager -- because he grew up in an extremely repressed culture, one that literally demonizes sex and normal impulses, yet simultaneously tells its adherents that their highest calling is to procreate. Which, guess what, requires the devil's deed, again and again. Imagine having all that drummed into your head your entire life, living it in front of the nation for the benefit of your whackjob parents. It would probably drive a majority of people nuts.
  • The reason Josh Duggar later retracted the part about his porn addiction is because there might be more to it than some simple milf jones going on there.
Which brings us to the other pervert of the week, Jared Fogle. Holy fucking shit, right? I mean, how the fuck is this guy worth $15 million? Also, what the fuckety-fuck? This is truly horrific shit.

Again, I happen to be of the opinion, based on first-hand (giggity) anecdotal evidence, that porn is a generally harmless thing, if you're not a fucked-up weirdo. Sometimes the wife has a headache but you want to clear the pipes. Not a big deal. Blow out a generation of knuckle-children and hit the sack.

But it also seems to be true that, for someone with a really screwed-up view of sex, porn can be like handing heroin to a junkie, or gasoline and a book of matches to a pyro. It's a trigger in a big, harmful way. Kinda like drugs or guns -- most people can handle them, but morons and assholes will fuck those things up in major ways.

Fogle is caught dead to rights, and pled out with a quickness, so will pay dearly for what he's done -- his wife wasted no time divorcing him, and will have no trouble taking half his shit, plus $1.4 million in restitution for Fogle's victims, plus even if Fogle gets the minimum and good behavior, what do you think even a few years in the state pen is like for a doughy child rapist who looks like his greatest physical altercation was with a Milky Way bar ten years ago?

And I think it's possible Josh Duggar has something deeper, darker going on. Not necessarily child porn, but still something that would put a nail in his coffin. It's as if he first decided to take the initiative in proclaiming his desire to redeem himself by reflexively declaiming his porn addiction, then realizing that all that happened was that his fuck-buddy account got hacked. Then he realized (or someone explained to him) that for someone with his track record and public profile, confessing to a porn addiction is like begging every black hat on the planet to hack his search history, his hard drives, anything and everything. And that they might be blown back by what they find.

Don't be too surprised if, in a few weeks or so, still more things come to light about Kid Christian. Maybe not, but this is the kind of smoke that usually has a lot of fire.

This is also a golden opportunity to talk a little bit about these "patriarchal" communities, these "fellowships" that essentially disenfranchise women, reduce them to chattel, brood mares to be inseminated regularly in order to assure proper propagation of Gawd's Favrit Species, the self-righteous asshole. You may have noticed that Katie Fogle wasted no time in distancing herself and her children from her pervert asshole husband. This may be cause to wonder what it would take for Anna Duggar to do the same.

Someone (not me, though if I had more time I'd give it a stab) could craft a decent novella out of this sort of thing, the psychology underpinning a woman in a relationship that's clearly domineering and abusive, yet she sees none of it. And it's all because she's been denied agency since birth, reduced to a breeding receptacle to satisfy a severe interpretation of Bronze Age palimpsests. She's probably not allowed to handle money beyond buying diapers for her ever-burgeoning brood, so she can't just up and leave, has no job skills, would be immediately disowned by her family, etc. It's a pernicious hold these mini-cultures have over their women in particular; while the men do whatever the hell they want, the women are expected to lie back and take it, and ask for more.

And damned if they don't do exactly that, almost every time.

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