Suck My Caucus

Jesus H. Christ, it's like Nevada looked at the shitshows in the previous three states and said, "Not clusterfucky enough. We can do better." And by god they did. Wonder how many of the Trumpalos voted two or six or twelve times. It's not like anyone bothered to keep track.

Pro tip:  it's pretty simple to blow the competition out of the water when the ballot workers are in the can for you.

We like to tell ourselves that we have the freest, fairest election process anywhere, that it is the envy of all other nations. Come on. Has there been a single primary yet, from either party, that wasn't janky, that didn't have shenanigans? Coin flips in Iowa for the Democrats, compromised counting processes in Nevada for the Republicans. Jimmy Carter couldn't keep these fucking lowlifes honest.

And now Trump is signaling for people who protest at his rallies to be beaten for having the nerve to exercise their First Amendment rights. The slackjawed goobers who populate the rallies love it, because they, like he, are proud of their jingoism and authoritarianism. It's only a matter of time before one of these putsches turn into an Altamont, and shit will have gotten real. Even that may not derail Trump; the fact is that he has given voice to the most disturbing segment of American politics right now, not just because they come as nativists and racists, but because they're so paranoid, and so over the top about it. And no amount of factual information can sway them from their wittle feewings. It's like arguing with a bunch of pissy four-year-olds.

They are deathly afraid of some ISIS operative sneaking in via Syrian refugee status, even though the refugees go through a two-year vetting process that involves a half-dozen agencies, even though Islamic terrorist attacks have perpetrated either by homegrown Moooslims, or ones from Saudi and Pakistan. They want a 2,000-mile wall built, even though most undocumented immigrants came here through an airport and simply overstayed their visas. Their hero's proposals will change nothing, unless what they really want is for their kids to pick lettuce and strawberries, and to have catastrophic tariff and trade wars with China and Mexico.

I hate to break it to these folks, who are not "good" simply because they live in rural areas and dropped out of tenth grade, but they are more likely to be killed by slipping in the bathtub than by some durka-durka-mohammed-jihad type. They are almost definitely going to die either from their diet, their lifestyle choices, their (or someone else's) poor driving skills, or old age. If they die at the end of a gun, it's an order of magnitude more likely that the holder of that gun will be someone they know.

It's become a familiar refrain by now, but as the Trump-mentum gathers, it bears repeating -- these are deeply stupid people, hostile not only to outsiders but even to basic logic and reasoning. Angry and frustrated is one thing, but the Trumpalos are around the bend in a way that you don't see even with Carson supporters. If you have sufficient amounts of alcohol and patience, I recommend sifting through this mess from a few weeks ago, see if you notice a pattern. It's long but worth the read, especially if you've found yourself at some moment over the past eight months or so going, "What the fuck are these people thinking?"

The most obvious pattern you'll find is that most of these people, regardless of their preferred candidate, simply have no facts or logic to muster. It's all just lashing out in anger. But some of them do make some sense, and they generally turn out to be supporting Rubio, Kasich, Cruz, maybe Christie. Again, most don't have much in the way of facts to justify their stance, but nothing too wild, either.

But when you read a response that makes you go "what the fuck are you talking about?", there is roughly a 100% chance that it's a Trump supporter. One woman compares Trump to Henry Ford and Andrew Carnegie, people who actually made things, as opposed to renting out their names to slap on things other people made. One guy thinks that a culture of victimhood has ruined the country. One guy -- reader, I shit you not -- blames the rise in school shootings on the increase in vulgar cartoons. Apparently no one ever shot anyone when -- and more importantly, because -- Bugs Bunny was on the air. You can't make these fucking morons up.

I always say that it's a waste of time to try to engage rationally with irrational people. The media have to stop treating these dipshits like they have magical "salt of the earth" status that prevents objective criticism of the idiotic things they say. The media have to stop giving Trump a free pass, and infinite free coverage. Interviewers have to challenge him when he lies, which is constantly; they have to press him for details when he pulls one of his "proposals" out of his ass.

I mean, I know it sucks that people might be expected to do their jobs, but there you have it.