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Tuesday, October 29, 2019

Colon Cancel

You may have heard that out here in Cali, it's that time of the year -- wildfires roaring up and down the state, and the problem is now exacerbated by PG&E shutting down power to areas that might be in danger, or are experiencing high winds. (That is not a joke -- last Saturday night, it sounded like a fucking freight train running through my yard, all night.)

I'm very thankful to be out of the fire and shut-down zones (so far), but I have family and friends who are not so lucky, who are in their fourth day without power and counting, and/or have been evacuated multiple times, as the fires encroach evacuation sites.

So when I see these smug little fuckers cracking wise about how some mythical "woke" culture caused this, I want to cordially invite them to suck a fart out of my asshole. They can go fuck each other in the neck. You know who fights these fucking fires? Prisoners and professionals, period.

Dave Rubin doesn't know what the fuck he's talking about, and I sincerely look forward to the day when he and Fuckface Carlson have their homes and irreplaceables destroyed by an event that can clearly be connected to climate change and its effects.

The most overused phrase from this misbegotten year is "cancel culture." I fucking despise that phrase, and the whiny millionaires who deploy it as some sort of preemptive license to be an asshole. Look, if you like something, no matter how bad a rep it has, watch it. Fucking binge-watch Real Inbred Housewives from Honey Boo Boo's Dirt Road till your brain cells start leaking out your ears, if that's what brings your pecker to full sail.

But when a professional "provocateur" steps over lines -- 'cause that's just what he does, man, he's a free thinker and you can't contain him with your "correctness" -- with flat-out lies that belittle what tens of thousands of people are enduring right now, he can't be too surprised when a critical mass of people see it and say, fuck you, asshole.

The First Amendment is the most important right we have in this country. It means you can say whatever the fuck you wanna say, and the gubmint can't throw your ass in jail. It doesn't matter if it's in poor taste, or even if it's an obvious lie, slapped on the table like a stale dog turd, defying you to call it for what it is.

But it doesn't grant you a guaranteed audience, nor does it compel anyone to give you a soapbox to use to spew your bullshit. So when I see shit like that, I just make a point to remind myself of who sponsors Carlson's shitshow, so I don't accidentally buy any of their products. I support free speech, but not paid lies.

When CNN gives jobs to unqualified propagandists like Corey Lewandowski and Sean Duffy, the latter of whom earlier today denigrated a decorated combat veteran, I know that that network adds no value to my existence. I avoid that network like the fucking plague. It doesn't help that they have professional liars such as Kellyanne Conway and Rudy Giuliani on routinely, or "Big Dick Toilet" chump and former acting Attorney General Matthew Whitaker. I'm not rooting through the shit pile looking for the occasional corn kernel or peanut. The whole thing is shit.

Their currency is devalued by the constant stream of hacks and liars, posing as avatars of false equivalency and intellectual probity. No, that dipshit Duffy trashed a guy who earned his Purple Heart at the same time Duffy spent his twenties screwing around on MTV's Real World. Fuckin' profile in courage right there. The people who put him in Congress oughta be ashamed of themselves.

This has nothing to do with individuals expressing opinions that I don't like, or disagree with. That's never a problem. That's where the fun happens in political discourse. It's when one of these self-styled "gatekeepers" decides to grant air time to liars and propagandists. It's a vile, destructive recursion of treachery -- we know the liars are liars, the network knows they're liars, the network knows that we know they're liars, the liars know that the audience and the networks know that they're liars, and so on.

It's not news, nor is it even entertainment. It's clickbait. Well, fuck them, and fuck the companies that buy ad time on those shows. You wanna know who hates America and is actively ruining it? Those assholes, all of them. Think of every awful thing that has transpired in the last three years from the antics of this administration, and know that the corporate media is responsible for it happening. Billions of dollars' worth of free air time, and a bloodless commitment to absolute both-siderism, no matter how false.

I wish I knew how to put them out of business. Nothing would thrill me more than to watch Tucker Carlson or Van Jones asking you if you want fries with that. All any of us can do is let our wallets speak for us at every possible opportunity. And if enough of us do that, they'll notice. Don't be fooled by their bullshit "cancel culture" plaints. That's just them scared shitless at the prospect of consumers exercising their free choice, choosing not to have their airwaves relentlessly poisoned by these soulless weasels. That's never a bad thing.

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