Wednesday, August 24, 2005

When The Lie's So Big

As in Robertson's case. (Familiarity with Frank Zappa's excellent Broadway The Hard Way CD helps with that sort-of punchline.)

Anyway, here's the lunatic asshole this morning [article has since been updated]:

Earlier Wednesday, on his "The 700 Club" program, Robertson said the media had taken his remarks out of context.

"I didn't say 'assassination.' I said our special forces should 'take him out.' And 'take him out' can be a number of things, including kidnapping; there are a number of ways to take out a dictator from power besides killing him. I was misinterpreted by the AP [Associated Press], but that happens all the time," Robertson said on "The 700 Club."

Actually, the lunatic asshole did say "assassination". We all saw the video, retard. God doesn't like liars, Pat.

Anyway, here's the lunatic asshole this afternoon:

Conservative U.S. evangelist Pat Robertson apologized on Wednesday for calling for the assassination of Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez, saying he spoke in frustration earlier in the week.

"Is it right to call for assassination? No, and I apologize for that statement. I spoke in frustration that we should accommodate the man who thinks the U.S. is out to kill him."

My, how several hours (and, presumably, having one of his flunkies point out to this senile idiot that not only did he say it, the whole world has seen it by now, not just his own li'l Jeebus Corner) changes one's perspective.

Another little tidbit from the CNN article just cements how much of a....well, a lunatic asshole this guy really is:

But he compared Chavez to Iraq's Saddam Hussein and Adolph Hitler and quoted German Lutheran theologian Dietrich Bonhoeffer: "[That if a madman were] driving a car into a group of innocent bystanders, then I can't, as a Christian, simply wait for the catastrophe and then comfort the wounded and bury the dead. I must try to wrestle the steering wheel out of the hands of the driver."

Bonhoeffer was hanged by the Nazis for his involvement in a 1944 plot to assassinate Hitler.

Robertson's rationale for his statement remained unchanged.

"I said before the war in Iraq began that the wisest course would be to wage war against Saddam Hussein, not the whole nation of Iraq," Robertson said. "When faced with the threat of a comparable dictator in our own hemisphere, would it not be wiser to wage war against one person rather than finding ourselves down the road locked in a bitter struggle with a whole nation?"

So far there has been no reaction from Venezuela to Robertson's apology.

You know, I really have no opinion on Chavez one way or the other -- he seems like a fairly odd duck, and has overtly aligned himself with, shall we say, problematic regimes like Cuba and China. And he's clearly an autocrat, which is not a good thing if we are serious about democracy.

However, Chavez has thus far been a fairly benevolent despot, trying to bring Venezuela's poorest up a notch, at the expense of the oligarchy that has run that country (like most other countries in the region, obviously) for generations as their own little fiefdom, at the expense of the masses. Payback's a bitch.

Reasonable people can get into disagreements over what sort of doctrinaire economic theories Chavez is violating with his redistributive policies. But it is impossibly irresponsible -- not to mention stupid, just unspeakably stupid -- to lump him in with monsters like Saddam and Hitler. I simply cannot plumb the depths of Robertson's irredeemable stupidity. All I can say is, in the future, Pat should let the foreign policy people worry about foreign policy, and he can go back to praying to his invisible friend to launch hurricanes and meteors at Disney World during Gay Days.

Frankly, enough is enough. ABC has the broadcast partnership with this fucking freak; I suggest an e-mailed boycott campaign may get them to see the light on this, before the new seasons of Lost and Desperate Milfs begin. Because here's the thing -- this is not just some "private citizen" speakin' his mind, as it's being characterized; this is someone who is as politically connected to the Washington establishment and this administration as anyone could hope to be. Robertson has counseled Bush on his Iraq War policy. Okay? This is not some unknown guy from Pig's Knuckle, Arkansas.

How do you like your gas prices right now? Pretty damn sweet, eh? Well, Venezuela is the fifth-largest oil exporter in the world. What happens if Chavez gets home from Cuba and decides he's had enough yanqui bullshit? It's not like he'll have to sit on his exports for long; the Chinese will take all he can spare, and he'd be perfectly happy to give it to them just to fuck with us further. Then what? Hey, you know who to thank.

I think the administration needs to eat it on this one and publicly excommunicate Robertson. It's for the good of the nation anyway -- this man is a diseased, wicked little troll, whose access to power is as inexplicable and unforgivable as that of Sun Myung Moon. Crazy people simply should not have that much political access; these assholes should be in rubber rooms.

Of course, we're talking about an administration that thinks this is some sort of solution to our insane level of consumption.

The new system will continue to exempt large sport utility vehicles and trucks weighing more than 8,500 pounds -- such as the Hummer H2 and the Ford Excursion -- from fuel economy standards because they are considered commercial vehicles, even if they are not used as such.

So. You ready to get back into the overthrow business just 'cause your Hummer's thirsty? (By the way, someone should tell the people driving the yellow ones that they look like the proverbial short bus. Figures.) You may have to get ready for it soon, thanks to America's Favorite Lunatic Asshole.

As long as the Hummer drivers send their kids first.


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