Ken Mehlman Indicted For Being A Fucking Lowlife

Josh Marshall has the screen capture. Nice to know CNN is so blatant about carrying the RNC's water. What the hell kind of "headline" is that? Is somebody really dumb enough to be distracted from all things Abramoff by such a pathetic effort? Probably, or they wouldn't be doing it. Repeated viewings of Paula Abdul's Karaoke Hour have left Americans irreparably addled, and with dashed expectations.

And the article -- and Jeebus, I use that word verrrry loosely here -- elaborates on the outright lie of the headline:

In an address to the Southern Republican Leadership Conference in Tennessee scheduled for Friday afternoon, Ken Mehlman will single out party leaders and two potential 2008 presidential candidates - Sens. Hillary Rodham Clinton and John Kerry - for criticism on a range of issues, from national security to the economy to judicial nominees.

``Not only can they not settle on an agenda, they can't even agree on a slogan,'' Mehlman's remarks prepared for delivery said. He is expected to offer some suggestions, albeit critical ones.

``If they really want the American people to know what they are going to do, then how about, 'Together, Americans can pay more in taxes,' `` the text said. ``Or, 'Together, we can retreat from the central front in the war on terror.

As opposed to the Republicans' slogans: "Together, we can sell our ports to bin Ladin's butt-boys": "Together, we can wipe our asses with the Constitution"; "Together, we can keep the likes of Ken Mehlman from getting married". Yeah, the adults are in charge, all right.

Whatever. So Clinton and Kerry disagree about some things. Republicans disagree with each other all the time; where Bill Frist enjoys torturing cats in his spare time, Cheney prefers blowing away fattened, flightless, half-domesticated game birds. It's a big tent, folks, and we're just here to check out all the (ass)clowns.

Mehlman's text reflected his intention to argue that Clinton's solution to support U.S. troops in Iraq was higher taxes and poked fun at Kerry for joining in the unsuccessful challenge to Supreme Court justice Samuel Alito's nomination from a conference in Davos, Switzerland.


In the 2004 campaign, presidential nominee Kerry was widely criticized for his comment about voting for $87 billion for U.S. forces and then voting against it. Mehlman will parody that line in his speech.


``They say one thing come election time, but their records show that they mean - and will do - another,'' the text said. ``They were for the Iraq war before they were against it. They were for the Patriot Act, until the far-left came out against it. ... I've bought used cars and I know a bait-and-switch when I see it.''

Yeah, I'll bet you do, Kenny Boy. Your fearless leader's been doing plenty of that all along; were you to take a break from your self-loathing and reflect on what sort of animals you whore for, you might come to your senses. Not that anyone's holding their breath for that.

And really, kudos to CNN for plugging Mehlman's talking points in the "news" section. Usually when a company wants to hustle folks into spending money they don't have on something they don't really want, they have to buy what we in the bidness refer to as an "advertisement". CNN has helpfully run Kenny Boy's "advertisement" in the "news" section, thus saving the RNC a few ducats, which they can then funnel to the Dukestir, so's he can buy cartons of smokes at the prison commissary, and maybe keep his creamy white ass from getting churned into butter.