Good Night, John Boy

I always liked John McCain. How can you not appreciate a man who spent five years in a cage being tortured for his country (in a war that should never have been fought in the first place, but still)? Who doesn't like a guy who shows a willingness -- no, an eagerness -- to take on the sacred cows within his own party, who plays well with the opposition, and cultivates a reputation for telling it like it is?

I wish I knew where that John McCain has gone off to. Aside from being the voice of conscience on Americans torturing prisoners (a debate that would have been unthinkable just half a decade ago, but has been neatly fomented in the mainstream culture with hysterical jingoistic crap like 24), McCain has slavishly carried this administration's water. Indeed, he has come off as a more ideologically conservative and militaristic version of the Chimpco regime.

Part of McCain's previous likability (and no, I don't anticipate seeing him schmooze with Jon Stewart again any time soon, but you never know) alludes to the intangible qualities all people seek to some extent in their political leadership. We all find our personal comfort level with a candidate, and seek out those traits. Thus Bush appeals to exactly the kind of folks he pretends to be -- ranchers who hang out at local feed stores and coffee shops and discuss business, all the while pretending that family connections and government subsidies had no part to play in their successes. McCain, in his 2000 campaign, tended to appeal to people who were nominally independent or ticket-splitters (like myself), whose primary concern was government's accountability to the citizens, and not just to the corporations who "donate" to the cause.

And in that regard, McCain at least has tried to walk the talk, tried to do something about the system of institutionalized bribery that passes for our electoral process. But he has been undone, at least in that intangible sense, by his overt willingness to play ball with an administration that has consistently and repeatedly demonstrated its incompetence, corruption, and utter lack of accountability. Still, one understands the dynamic of political machinations, that the road to political ambition is indeed lubricated with the occasional forced embrace of one's sworn enemy.

The final nail in the coffin is on a more personal level, for McCain and I think for his merry ragtag band of erstwhile McCainiacs. After upsetting the anointed Dauphin in the 2000 New Hampshire primaries, McCain was a marked man heading into the South Carolina primaries, and the Chimpco team pulled out all the stops. Most notable was their use of their wicked evangelical sidekicks, people like Pat Robertson and Jerry Falwell, whose minions cold-called and push-polled gullible South Carolinians with whispered asides about how McCain had snakes in his head from his extended captivity, that his wife was a pill-popping alcoholic, that his adopted Bangladeshi daughter was an illicit brown love child. Disgusting shit like that. The kind of stuff where, if you knew someone had said these things about you, you'd beat the hell out of them the next time you encountered them, just to demonstrate that you wouldn't put up with being punked by a bunch of punks.

Not only does McCain hump Bush's leg every time they're in the same room, he is now cozying up to the same wingnut fundies who smeared him just six years ago. McCain is giving the commencement address at Falwell's Liberty "University" this spring, and on this morning's Timmeh! (aka Meet the Press), McCain was, to say the least, circumspect about previous disagreements with the Lord's self-anointed prophetsfits:

MCCAIN: As regards to Rev. Falwell, which is the major thrust of your comments, I met with Rev. Falwell. He came to see me in Washington. We agreed to disagree on certain issues, and we agreed to move forward. I believe that speaking at Liberty University is no different from speaking at the New College or Ohio State University, all of which I’m speaking. I speak at a lot of colleges and universities. I’m pleased to have the opportunity to do so, to talk to young Americans and talk to them about the obligations and the privileges of freedom.

RUSSERT: But, Senator, when you were on here in 2000, I asked you about Jerry Falwell, and this is what you said:

MCCAIN (clip, 3/5/00): Gov. Bush swung far to the right and sought out the base support of Pat Robertson and Jerry Falwell. Those aren’t the ideas that I think are good for the Republican Party.

RUSSERT: Do you think that Jerry Falwell’s ideas are now good for the Republican Party?

MCCAIN: I believe that the “Christian Right” has a major role to play in the Republican Party. One reason is because they’re so active and their followers are. And I believe they have a right to be a part of our party. I don’t have to agree with everything they stand for, nor do I have to agree with everything that’s on the liberal side of the Republican Party. If we have to agree on every issue, we’re not a Republican Party. I believe in open and honest debate. Was I unhappy in the year 2000 that I lost the primary and there were some attacks on me that I thought was unfair? Of course. Should I get over it? Should I serve — can I serve the people of Arizona best by looking back in anger or moving forward?

RUSSERT: Do you believe that Jerry Falwell is still an agent of intolerance?

MCCAIN: No, I don’t. I think that Jerry Falwell can explain how his views on this program when you have him on.

This is just ugly. I'm somewhat inclined to go all Rude Pundit here and compare this to some sort of grotesque exercise in sexual submission, but it's just all too sad and pathetic. I don't know how McCain faces his family at night, knowing what we all know, how these fuckers savaged him, and them.

And for what? McCain's not nearly as viable as he thinks he is. He turns 70 this August; he'd be several months into his 73rd year by the time of his first inauaguration. Mitt Romney is already making McCain's age an issue within the party; the Democrats will start there.

I don't know what makes otherwise respectable people do this to themselves. McCain's not just selling his soul; he's giving it away, dealing with these animals. Joe Pesci once sagely opined, "Show business turns men into fags and women into whores." The political incorrectness of that aside, McCain seems to be applying that principle to politics -- which is, after all, show business for ugly people.