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Monday, April 06, 2009

The California Chainsaw Massacre

I'm typing this with one hand, though not for the usual reasons. Yesterday I was doing a spot of last-minute pruning on one of my ancient, overgrown fruitless mulberries, and inadvertently tried to give myself a manicure with a chainsaw. If you can avoid having to block a falling 100-lb. limb while wielding a chainsaw, 6' up a ladder, it's probably for the best.

No permanent damage; aside from peeling off half a fingernail and getting a nasty gash on the thumb, I'm fine. It could have been a lot worse. I just can't use my left hand for probably a week. And it's not like I've been posting much lately anyway, although knowing that there are probably cat blogs with more traffic is not exactly an incentive to step up the pace.

At any rate, there won't be much activity here this week, unless I get really good at this one-handed typing thing.

6 comments:

cavjam said...

Just to cheer you up: there are probably cat blogs with less traffic.

p.s. - should you find yourself at some time using a meat slicer do not hook your thumb around the hand guard no matter how cool it seems.

p.p.s. - I want you back at your keyboard by Sunday, mister. No excuses.

OneMadClown said...

p.s. - should you find yourself at some time using a meat slicer do not hook your thumb around the hand guard no matter how cool it seems.

As someone who neatly removed a corner of his finger with a meat slicer, I can second this useful tidbit of advice. Of course, I usually say that it happened in a Filipino knife fight.

Sorry to hear about your wounded digits, Heywood. Take some of the burden off of yourself, and hire a sidekick to do manual labor and blog posts when you aren't feeling it.

Joe Blow said...

Oh sorry to hear that.

Are you right handed? Then it won't interfere with, er, you know...

using your mouse!

(although I use my left hand to move my mouse)

get better soon. and stop carrying chainsaws up ladders.

Marius said...

...unless I get really good at this one-handed typing thing...

You mean you weren't already? Then how have you been able to, um, "surf" all these years? ;-)

No, but seriously, a sliced-off finger in America is no joke; it's the equivalent of taking a bullet in Somalia -- the gateway to financial disaster. Hire a Mexican to do this kind of job, Heywood. That's what your fellow citizens do (unless you're my wife's 90-year old gramps, in which case you'll think you still got it, and want to do it yourself.)

The Vile Scribbler said...

although knowing that there are probably cat blogs with more traffic is not exactly an incentive to step up the pace.

Quality over quantity, man. Look how many great writers and artists were only appreciated posthumously. There's any number of things like that you can use to make yourself feel better.

Besides, writing should be something you do because you have to. As in, these thoughts are burning your brain, and you'd be scribbling on napkins if that were the only means to write them down. Leave the blog-fame to people who write "Shallow Thoughts" and link to YouTube videos constantly.

Kimberly said...

First off.

AHHHHHHHHH!!! CRIPES!

Secondly, I'm glad you'll be okay. I broke my right wrist once and it was sheer misery at school for six weeks..

Hope you feel better soon, and that you have plenty of pain meds available