Roving Lunatics

If there is a greasier turd in American public life than Karl Rove, it's probably floating down a Staten Island sewer drain. It's not just that Rove looks like the Nazi asshole in Raiders of the Lost Ark whose face gets melted, it's the glee with which he dissembles and fabricates, his primary mission to empower and encourage the dumbest, most reactionary core of the electorate, simply by affirming all their fever dreams.

Yesterday was Tax Day, and it was marked by large numbers of Americans turning out for an estimated 2,000 tea parties across the country. This movement is significant.

"Significant" is not the same thing as "substantial". A mass movement of boobery -- which this is not, if one compares the rally sizes to that of, say, immigration or antiwar rallies of recent years, most of which were hundreds of times larger in the same cities -- is still just an assemblage of retards. Yet this nonsense gets more media attention than those much larger rallies did, especially the leg-humping from Rupert Murdoch's one-ply ass-scraper of a cable "news" network.

The number of protests, as opposed to volume of protesters, on the other hand, is actually somewhat impressive. You know what would really be impressive is if all that localized action could be put to productive use, instead of a bunch of screaming tit-suckers puffing up their consumptive chests and fronting all Galt and shit. Again, fucking go already, how many times do we have to ask you?

There seems to be a fair quantity of over-60 folks at these things, and it'd be nice if some of the media folks dutifully covering these circle-jerks asked them if they'd ever collected (or plan on collecting) Social Security, Medicare, or any other cool government tax-funded stuff. If they wanna keep their pride intact and live on dog food, I won't bother to stop them, there being no fool like an old fool and all. Steal some ketchup packets from Mickey D's for flavor.

Derided by elitists as phony, the tea-party movement is spontaneous, decentralized, frequently amateurish and sometimes shrill. If it has a father it is CNBC's Rick Santelli, who called for holding a tea party in Chicago on July 4. Yesterday's gatherings were made up of people who may never meet again (there's no central collection point for email addresses). But the concerns driving people to tea parties are real, growing and powerful. Politicians ignore them at their peril.

Indeed. I encourage all good Republicans to listen to Ratfuck Boy and grab every teabag in sight. Larry Craig can probably point you in the right direction.

Not to put too fine a point on it, but these people are flat-out fuckin' thrice-inbred mow-rahns. Not just because they take their emo-patriot cues from halfwit ball-lickers like Glenn Beck, and get all weepy and weird about things they can't even articulate (though that sure doesn't help). It's because they offer no solutions of their own, no alternative plan. Everything that tumbles out of their diseased pieholes is eerily similar, by virtue of being unencumbered with truth or coherence.

If they had half a clue, they'd realize that the hortatory rhetoric of Rove and his slimy ilk is specifically designed to urge them ever further into voting and acting against their own rational self-interest. I honestly cannot imagine trusting a person such as Rove with even simple household chores; I can't imagine what sort of knuckle-dragging rube would take Rove's advice on public policy. The fucker was born with one hand hidden in his pocket, crossing his fingers. As the saying goes, every word this scumbag utters is a complete lie, including "and" and "the".

One concern is the rise of state and local taxes. New York and California passed multibillion-dollar tax increases this year. Other states are considering significant tax hikes or have enacted tax increases in recent years. The many tax and fee increases enacted or under consideration is angering voters.

Jesus H. Christ, the only sane response to this bullshit is that anyone dumb enough to buy what Rove and the teabaggers are selling deserves what they get. A third-grader can rebut this blindfolded, but for the slow kids out in Teabagland, here's the short-bus version: Many public services, such as police and fire protection -- which most citizens enjoy having -- are funded by something called "property taxes". This is a fee which is levied by the [Count Floyd voice] Big Eeeevil State [whoooo! scary!], based on the assessed value of one's domicile.

So (follow along with me here), when property values decline precipitously -- and in some areas of California, they have declined 50-60% or even more -- that affects the funding for those services rather adversely. This is especially true when, as in the case of California, a multi-year drought has extended wildfire season -- and thus fire protection services.

Now, while a video of Karl Rove burning alive in his house would be an entertaining YouTube upload, chances are most folks like having police officers and firefighters come when they are needed. Doesn't matter, because even with the rate increases, services are going to be cut. The property values and revenues have simply declined too far, too fast. Can't someone show up to one of these public park hootenannies and explain this shit to these fuckwits, or do they just enjoy being used by animals like Rove and Hannity?

But to tap into that constituency Republicans will have to link lower taxes to money in voters' pockets, and economic growth and jobs. They must explain why the GOP approach will lead to greater prosperity.

Sure, like it did for the past eight years. And no doubt they're fudging the numbers right now to make 2004-2006 look like the Bush salad days for the economy, but rest assured, they're just tossing that salad. None of those numbers represent real wealth generated, only debt created and transferred, and the sooner the hapless Dems convene a Pecora-type commission to review the trail of blood, the better. They better figure something out before this shit derails their dream gig.

But in the meantime, hell, I dunno, read yer fuckin' pay stub, bub. None of these teabag scrubs is in the $250K club, and they goddamn well know it. These people are freaking insane, compelled to show up at these moron conventions like it was 4:00AM Black Friday out front of Wal-Mart. If this is how off their meds they are after ten weeks of Obama, and a 4% hike in a marginal rate none of them will ever see, it really is going to be a long four years. Again, for different reasons, but thanks to pretty much the same band of idiots.

Such arguments are not self-executing.

Sadly, neither are the people making those tendentious arguments. Although they are panic-buying guns, so there's always hope.