Monday, June 08, 2009

Holy Diva

La Palin is beginning to inch her way back into the spotlight, amid the circular firing squad that her party has devolved into:

Palin had originally been announced as the keynote speaker for the fundraiser, a dinner benefiting the Republican congressional campaign committees at the Washington Convention Center. But her office then said that she had never confirmed her attendance. Palin's office asked last week if she would speak at the dinner, and party leaders told her she could. Later, though, they rescinded the speaking invitation in deference to the man who had accepted the keynote slot in her place, former House speaker Newt Gingrich.

Without a speaking slot, Palin declined to commit to appearing until hours before the event. But after assurances she would be publicly introduced at the event, the former vice presidential nominee and her husband strode across the stage with Gingrich and his wife as the event started, getting applause from the crowd of more than 2,000 Republicans.

Sen. John Cornyn (R-Tex.), chairman of the National Senatorial Campaign Committee, praised Palin for her "leadership." The brief mention of the Alaska governor drew more applause from the crowd. Palin herself did not speak at the event.

Well, no surprises anywhere there: Miss Thang got her feathers ruffled before finally agreeing to a free trip in exchange for sitting down and shutting up; John Cornyn earned his nickname of "dumbest guy in the Senate this side of Jim DeMint" by praising Palin's mythic "leadership" abilities, as if being able to trot out the same stock phrases and borscht-belt jibes in apparently random order now qualifies as some sort of skill to be emulated; and the morons in the crowd applaud the very mention of Her name, because they think The Goode Family is a documentary, and any chance to take a useless swipe at imaginary liberals is time well-spent for them. All that so she (and they) could sit there and listen to Newt's latest brilliant six-point solution to implement a five-point strategy to elucidate an eight-point values initiative loosely based on the cinematic career of Ronald Reagan.

Gingrich's keynote slot marked the latest step in the continuing reemergence of a man who was at the center of the party's historic takeover of Congress in 1994. He resigned from both the speakership and the House four years later, after Republicans had lost seats and Gingrich's backing had faded among House Republicans.

Away from Congress, Gingrich has tried to reshape his image from a partisan congressional leader to an influential public voice on issues such as health care and energy. He now constantly sends his former GOP colleagues on Capitol Hill e-mail missives about his ideas, and Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell (R-Ky.) dubbed him Monday night "one of the best idea men we've ever had."

The fact that a grade-A pinhead like Mitch McConnell thinks Newt's resurrection is brilliant idea-sharing and innovative politicking should tell you everything you need to know about these bozos' real prospects. Fatboy is apparently their ace in the hole at this point, at least until Jonah Goldberg doodles his next manifesto. The kindest thing you can say about Newt Gingrich is that, despite their many faults, at least people like Al Gore and Walter Mondale understood when it was time to get the fuck out and find something else to do. But as long as he keeps Palin offstage and rehearsing her burbled boilerplate for anxious rubes, it's a bargain.

Thank the Flying Spaghetti Monster that the Post happened to be there to capture this vital scene for posterity and-or entertainment value. I mean, if Newt and Sarah don't show up at a telethon for a bunch of congressional short-bus riders who campaign on the Ten Commandments even when they can only remember three themselves, who will?


Kevin said...


Marius said...

This development may prove more dangerous, in the long term, than we give this cow credit for. Start by noting that, for her performance to rate higher the next time (in 2012, I mean), she need not advance from inarticulacy to reasoned eloquence. She must only progress from gibberish to blathering -- and here it looks like she's taking the first steps. All she really has to do, given the sorry state of this electorate, is be somewhere in Mitt Romney territory when it comes to spouting (admittedly false, dishonest, empty) talking points. She has the extra things that the extra-chromosomers value, yet Mitt, the Huck, and the President of 9/11 lacked during the last Republican primary: a natural ability to set the Neanderthals braying.

Then remember that, in this country, stupidity and sociopathic disregard for basic decency have never stopped a politician from making it to the highest offices of the land. The lesson that Bush taught us all is that, if you don't have much of a frontal lobe, you can always use fear, intimidation, empty swagger, and false piety. A critical mass of morons can always be found to lap up that shit.

Marius said...

Oh, lest I forget. Besides the knuckle-draggers to give her their votes, she'll always have the cockwipes in the media to give her a platform and legitimacy. Rich Lowry and Tweety aren't the only journos who fantasize about gun-toting MILFs in LL Bean lingerie.

Then there's also the mentally confused female pundits who think attacking this harpy is dealing a low blow to the cause of wymyn.