The Evil of Banality

Is there no blessed end to this vapid cow?

"Of course, we all had to bite our tongues — more than once — as Tripp's father went on a media tour through Hollywood and New York, spreading untruths and exaggerated rhetoric," Palin writes.

Jesus Christ, lady. Project much? Has she done anything over the past two years besides fatten her wallet by traipsing around the country talking shit, bearing false witness -- which, and I may be wrong, since I'm a godless heathen atheist (especially if someone like Palin is remotely a "Christian"), explicitly violates an actual commandment -- and jacking up the rhetoric to a height that even a sizable chunk of Republicans can't stomach in good conscience?

Of course, it's always a mistake to use the phrase "good conscience" in the same sentence as "Palin", since the latter truly has only a nodding acquaintance with the former, having sold whatever soul she may have had for the cheap and easy rewards of fake populism and reality teevee.

Bristol Palin has been featured on ABC's "Dancing With the Stars," but Sarah Palin has a few words for Fox's "American Idol." She refers to "talent-deprived" contestants who suffer from "the cult of self-esteem."

"No one they have encountered in their lives — from their parents to their teachers to their president — wanted them to feel bad by hearing the truth," she writes. "So they grew up convinced that they could become big pop stars like Michael Jackson."

Uh-huh, and apparently an entire nation has decided not to hurt her daughter's feelings, because it's not like she can, um, actually dance, nor is she actually a "star", even by the loosest definition of that term. She's famous for exactly two things -- getting knocked up by an oily bohunk, and being the offspring of an increasingly tedious political bobblehead. But it's nice that America's Sob Sister has the fucking balls to lecture the rest of us on how to set our kids straight, seeing the bang-up job she's done so far.

I think it would actually be edifying -- for Palin, for her supporters, for the people who are sick of her very name and presence at this point and wish she would just take her pelf and scuttle back into the underbrush -- if she ran for president. I still think it's doubtful, if only because she's just smart enough to realize that the real money is in the cock-tease.

But she is also an irrepressible narcissist, increasingly in love with the sound of her own grating voice and peanut-gallery aphorisms on Teh Twitter. The idea of her schlepping around the country for two years, weighed down with her rubber-glue shields and campaign-prop progeny, growing increasingly exasperated at the prospect of only being able to preach to the choir, exhausting herself for the pleasure of self-selecting jerkoffs, is interesting to contemplate.

Perhpas the most telling sign that she's topped out is that, while a bunch of her no-name House dimwits made the cut in the midterms, almost all of her high-profile picks lost. Alaska seems to have launched its own in-house write-in campaign to shit-can professional asshole Joe Miller, almost as a direct rebuke to her, to send lifer Lisa Murkowski (whom they had rejected in the primary) back instead.

After having this braying fool and her tedious jabber halfway up our collective asses for two endless years now, the main takeaway is really not that Palin is offensive, or even especially stupid, in a profession full of card-carrying morons. It's how predictable and tiresome she became quite some time ago, if you think about it. The last eighteen months, at least, have been the same Johnny One-Note schtick, unvarying -- and worse yet, uninteresting. One of my favorite bits is that she has yet to say anything that is either true or correct, but let's add one to the mix: when was the last time she even said anything interesting, as opposed to merely provocative or obnoxious?

Politics is at heart a clown college, and American politics is little different fromt he rest of the world in that regard. Dipshits and poltroons abound. But in America, where things are supposed to be bigger and better, one might expect a higher grade of buffoon. Palin has neither the pedigree of Fredo Arbusto, nor the avuncular charm of Fred Thompson. She is merely the personification of the garden-variety uppity dunce you can stumble across, double-parked in a Sam's Club aisle, any given day of the week.

Just another area in which we've fallen behind. The least we can do is demand a better class of jackass, not this prickly, grudge-nursing hausfrau who, despite attending five colleges to cobble together a fucking communications degree, cannot assemble a coherent sentence.