Monday, January 19, 2015

Hypin' and Wipin'

Doop de doop....let's find some easy fish in a barrel we can perforate, just because. Sometimes, the idiots that have been built up into quasi-celebs are interesting in the sense that their hype machines are useful to watch in action.

After Jessa Duggar, 22, participated in March for Life, a peaceful protest against abortion in Little Rock, fans are flipping over what they see as the 19 Kids and Counting star’s “hypocritical” beliefs.

Yes, I'm sure the doofi that actually watch this shit are shocked -- shocked! -- to find that the members of a family whose lone skill is reproducing might be anti-abortion. Why, the hell you say! Not only that, but the "examples" given in the "article" are logically incoherent, and probably don't even come from viewers of the show.

No doubt we've all done these little "walkabouts" of the internets every so often, just surfing randomly for a period of time, seeing what crops up. "Entertainment" writing, never exactly a bastion of even lowbrow prose, seems now to be at a point that makes the old National Enquirer look like the Utne Reader.

Not there's anything wrong per se with a sensationalistic headline designed to draw eyeballs and clicks, but this thing should have come in two-ply, its "points" so loosely (or un-) corroborated as to be non-existent. Anyone who watched these shows and is seriously surprised at their positions on hot-button issues should not be allowed to drive or reproduce.

"So," you sigh, rubbing your throbbing temples, "is there more to this highly entertaining saga of these overbreeding hillfolk?" Reader, you know there is.

Oldest BreederDuggar sister Jana is, according to this breathless celebrojourno nonsense, upset that at the ripe old age of 25, she's practically a spinster, and duty-bound to help her moron parents raise their ricockulously sized brood. Wouldn't want her to, say, go to college, live her own life, learn that the world is so much bigger of a place than her goofball parents have led her to believe.

[Jana] Duggar has seen sisters Jill Duggar Dillard and Jessa Duggar Seewald head forward into courtships and marriage in 2014, and the reality star is reportedly worried she might never find someone to free her from her all-encompassing family duties.
The eldest daughter in the extended Duggar family was groomed by parents Michelle and Jim Bob Duggar to helping raise her 16 younger siblings.


This unique system of teaching children responsibility, respect and devotion to God puts an added strain on female children, because they are raised to help "mother" their younger siblings. Michelle Duggar detailed this family responsibility in her 2008 book "The Duggars, 20 and Counting."
"The children are given jurisdictions, or routine chores. After the younger ones are done, they are to report to their 'buddy' or older sibling for instructions. The oldest children also help with homeschooling the younger children. Obedience is a way to respect both your parents and God," revealed Michelle Duggar.

As the family's eldest daughter, Jessa Duggar has been playing a mother role since she was a toddler.

Nice, huh? These kids have literally been bred and groomed to be breeders first, self-actualized human beings second. It's easy to poke the usual snark at them, but it's just sad, is what it is. It's a big, interesting world out there and all they know is raising their siblings because their parents refuse to stop fucking.

Not that we want these kids to start snorting coke and doing porn, but even Amish kids get their rumspringa.

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