Friday, November 06, 2015

Question of the Day

Which part of the race to the bottom between Donald Trump and Ben Carson is more hilarious -- Trump's continued insistence that he doesn't need a teleprompter, even though he extemporizes like old people fuck; or Ben Carson's Scarface-to-Urkel redemption narrative becoming unraveled with each tedious retelling?

Look a few months down the road, folks; this is how the Gooper field gets narrowed to Rubio. Rubio should send Trump a thank-you card attached to a $10k/night call girl for cockpunching Yeb?! into irrelevance, exposing him as dickless, a political Ken doll. Trump and Carson are not running for president, they're running for something with more money and fewer headaches -- a book tour, a teevee show, some tiresome bullshit soaking their moron fan bases out of their unearned cash (it is axiomatic that if you're spending any money or time on anything from Trump or Carson, you didn't work nearly hard enough for it).

Ed's observation about this dynamic is spot on, but the death earlier this week of Fred (I say Fred) Thompson reminds us of an earlier, more masterful example of this grifty art that Republitards seem to specialize in. Thompson's genius in running (or, more accurately, "running") was in his way of just barely concealing his contempt for the process; looking back, it's a goddamned wonder he didn't break character on some Cracker Barrel porch in Bumfuck, Tennessee and just snap and say, "Just gimme yer fuckin' money already, simps!".

Thompson barely cared, and barely tried, and you can bet that a good half to two-thirds of what's left of the Gooper gaggle is on that page of the book, and none other. Huckabee knows good and well that no one outside of Cooter's Holler is even going to notice him, much less vote for him. Same for Bobby Jindal. It's not even network marketing anymore, it's just cultivating a niche, stroking them for a couple months and getting a million morons to each give you five or ten bucks on average, before pulling the plug.

Guys like Fred Thompson and Newt Gingrich built the business model, this newer breed has just added social media to the equation, building the niche faster than before. I think the rest of us are just in the wrong racket; if I had the stomach to be around these jabbering dipshits for ten or twelve weeks, I could cash out and retire early.

No comments: