Autopsy

they all assumed it would happen with a bomb
a rocket of molten radioactive flame
quick and easy and violent like a video game
instead it was the steady drip of poison
   in the veins
      in the brain
the media monkeys kept the score
national suicide prevented civil war

they bought you for pennies on someone else's dollar
before you realized what they had known all along
   you were for sale
      the system rigged to fail
and you wondered whether Princess A got along with Princess B
   one seems nice
      the other catty
the royal expert on the morning news seems chatty
living carefree lives on the backs of the poor
practically begging for civil war

give a billionaire a break and he'll love you
throw a penny to a beggar and you're Mussolini
at least the rich guy will consider you
when he needs someone to wash his Lamborghini

i drove through the old town square
   to see what was left
the boards were peeled and fading
   the trees bereft
dots in portfolios
absentee landlords with inherited pride
passive engineers of collective suicide

capital mobility produced national fluidity
loyalty is a commodity like anything else
the merchant princes board their yachts
   with coke and plastic whores
      tax abatements by the score
         every soul a weeping sore
while national suicide prevents civil war

Here Comes Your Man

The legends foretold
The prophecy fulfilled
Three hundred pounds
   in an empty suit
Bought with the sweat and trust of others

The electricity of the arena
Dust cleared from last week's
   monster-truck rally
The smells of diesel and adrenaline

We came to sing the hymns in unison
We came to receive The Word
   and bear witness
      and tell our grandkids
         if they ever visit or call again

He preens and slouches
   with swag-bellied rhythms
      and the certainty of the blank slate

I am Truckasaurus! he roars and cackles
I will build a wall of cactus
   and Kid Rock CDs
      right up their asses
They will pay for that wall, all of them will pay

I have landed a man on the moon
   and shot a fifty-two at Pebble Beach
      and knocked down the Berlin Wall
         with my enormous cock
They don't want you to know the truth
They can't love you like Ike loves you, baby

Load up on avocados on your way out
   and pelt a lib-fag or three
It's the best way to show them
   that you are the most real
      of all people
No one has ever been more real or more pure

Don't forget to buy some swag
 

Do It Already

The idle threats of frazzled moms
Flutter and dissipate
Forgotten before they're heard
Again and again

So follow through at long last

Beat the brat's ass
Max the credit cards
Don't pay the bills
Cheat on your spouse

Bury the report that clears your name
Close the border
Stoke the mob
Lead the chant

Break away from Brussels like you promised

Tell Europe to go fuck themselves
Tell Canada to go fuck Europe
Tell murderers you love them
Tell everyone else you hate them

Poison the well and the water table
Fly from the bridge into a dead river of ash and feces and aphasia
Kill your own chickens
Pick your own fruit
Repeal Roe and shut down the clinics
Reap the whirlwind in your dust bowl brain

Watch the levees break
Steal your neighbor's boat
Row for higher ground
Pretend it never happened

Flex nuts and fake tough
Wrap up in flags of ancient traitors
Have a criminal fix your health care
Roll clean coal in your living room
Pwn faggot libturd snowflakes

You showed 'em alright
Showed 'em reeeeeal good

Taste the barrel, clattered against teeth
Crush fentanyl on corn flakes
Windmills cause cancer
Corporations are friends
Ignorance is strength
Freedom is relative
Resistance is futile
Facts are useless
Tucker's got a point

Don't feel bad
You gave up a long time ago
They'll forget you soon enough

Mouse

The Universe, God --
a celestial cat with infinite paws
      and infinite claws
            an infinite number of mice to play with
a lucky few get away for awhile
the rest are caught and let go,
      caught and let go,
for just long enough to think they're free
      in the light, in the clear
            out in the open air
if only for a moment

until the day, somewhere down the road
after all the hopes and dreams and ambitions
      all the love and sex and passion
            have come and gone
                  stumbled back and gone again
                        this time forever

....the mouse looks up, spent
      Just eat me, fucker.

The Mob Drools

desiccated shibboleths slouching
shoulder to shoulder, ass to belly
pasted on a face from yesterday

pinched and bitter
better days past forever
indifferent to what they're being used for

whatever it takes to pwn imaginary enemies
moar winning plz boss

nothing matters, nothing is true
no use for facts or context
only for pulse and rage and rhythm and
animal urge
the buildup to the purge
that they dream darkly

when the lights are out and the music's over
anger-jizz pooling on the arena floor
until tomorrow
when fresh outrage comes calling
and needs a face to sell the next lie

Lost Quatrains of Nostradamus: CPAC Edition

From the bowels of a swamp shall they rise anon,
A captive audience fresh from rigors,
Of salty snacks and carbonated fructose,
Basement warriors brandishing cardboard swords and shields.

The lobby patiently awaits their grand designs,
Of tea bags and sea breezes and projected anxieties,
Darkened commie muslim hitler stalin bailout,
Word-salad egg-man walrus kookookajoo.

Beware the milky dawn on the day of Thor,
Court jesters whose blinds match not yon carpet nor drape,
Appeal their pagan gods for mushroom clouds over Wrigley,
Conveniently forgetting their previous employers.

The second hell-rider be neither famine nor pestilence,
But the arctic huntress of piled hair and boutique spectacles,
Conspicuous by her absence from the worshipful conclave,
Maybe next year if there's a side trip to Neiman Marcus.

Other beasties await unsuspecting conventioneers,
Coultergeists and failed morons, cue-bald and brain-dead, openly
Praying for failure and success in the same dissonant breath,
Till they choke from lack of air, or perhaps a stray Cheeto.

Finally the new leader emerges from his pit, a chimera,
Head of bulldog, body of water buffalo, serpent's eyes and tongue,
A painful barnacle in a damp and soiled place,
Soothed by voyages to citadel of Viagra with dark prince Oxy.