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Saturday, March 18, 2006

Tom Cruise Sucks

Just want to make sure that when Mini-Me Googles himself, maybe he can spot something else to get jiggy about. Go ahead and sue me, halfpint -- I gots nothin'. Besides, your brainwashed child-bride might suddenly get her memory refreshed that there are actually men taller than she is, and then you're in trouble.

In the past, I've actually stuck up for Cruise at times. I think he's done some good work, and not necessarily reaped the official rewards for it (though he's obviously gotten the financial rewards). But enough is enough. His weird little control-freak tactics have simply gotten out of hand.

Tom Cruise stopped Comedy Central from airing an episode of 'South Park' that mocks him - by threatening to refuse to promote 'Mission Impossible 3'. The now infamous episode of the cartoon 'Trapped in the Closet' pokes fun at the actor's Scientology beliefs and shows the actor trapped inside a closet.

The show, which was first aired last November, was set to be repeated on Wednesday night on Paramount cable channel Comedy Central. Paramount, owned by US media giant Viacom, is the studio behind the latest 'Mission Impossible' sequel.

However, the show was removed from the schedule at the last minute because Cruise reportedly went to Viacom executives demanding the episode be pulled otherwise he would "boycott" all promotion for 'MI3'.


Someone tell this little homunculus that in a society that respects free speech, sometimes you just gotta deal with things you don't like. People may not respect your whackjob cult. They may not care that you're OT7 or whatever. They may not understand just How Important You Are, because they're still full of engrams and thetans and whatnot.

Cruise will get his come-uppance soon enough -- Parker and Stone always get the last word, and now you can count on them adding some shithead character to the mix. Look for South Park's next lovable munchkin, "Dom Cruiser", a rough-trade high-schooler whose insatiable appetite for cock provides nearly as many bellylaffs as his incredible lack of height.

Can't say you weren't warned, runt.

8 comments:

Anonymous said...

I simply won't watch another movie or even a re-run of Tom C in it. His exploits on Oprah defined my image of him, just another ordinary person with whom I would have no contact, no experience, no emotion, except maybe to save his life by keeping him from falling into oncoming traffic or maybe a train, and his pontification with the scientology cult makes it even easier for me to stop my viewing.

Ripple said...

Does Tom Cruise even matter? He's a fag, he's a whacko, he's boring.

Anonymous said...

Tricia Hawkins
I am not afraid to use my name to say what I would say to Tom Cruise's own face. I've never thought that he was or is a good actor. In almost every film he hides behind his dark sunglasses, and seriously needs to go back to acting classes. Also, he's very short!!!

Anonymous said...

Up yours you little shit! Believe in whatever you want to believe in, but throwing your assinine comments around and judging other people could only be the by-product of ignorance and down right stupidity. Personally, how could you ride the concept of Scientology to begin with. You need a I.Q. re-adjustment pal ( sorry for just judginmg YOU). Your example of the evolutionary lader was proved by your ape-like actions of jumping up and down on Oprah's show. Alot of people are right: go back to acting school and or get a labotomy. I, for one, vote for the labotomy. Oh, yeah. Will Smith blows too. Get jiggy w/ THAT!! Another bad actor.

Anonymous said...

His real name is Maplethrerer, or something. I wish he would go away and play the world's best guy we never heard of.

Anonymous said...

Why do you people not just accept the man who is offering you a greater way? If you ever do you'll understand his magnificance. By mocking him, you only block your own wat to a better life.

Anonymous said...

Anonymous said: [Why do you people not just accept the man who is offering you a greater way? If you ever do you'll understand his magnificance. By mocking him, you only block your own wat to a better life.]
Please, he is not a god.He cannot offer me anything. just a man who is demented by his brainwashing.
And my own WAT to a better life??? learn to spell if you are going to defend something.
Scientology only wants rich people to join because you need money to be one. Do you know any Poor people that are scientologists? Put that in your hat and smoke it.

Anonymous said...

Society would be better off if Tom Cruise and the likes became extinct. He is a brainwashed tool with no value to add to society. We'd all be better of if he was dead.