Sunday, September 24, 2006

Top Ten Other David Broder Complaints

10. Damn kids won't get off his lawn.

9. WaPo commissary refusing to add creamed corn to the menu just for him.

8. Woodward always got more action back in the day.

7. McCain won't let him on the "Straight Talk Express" anymore after how he nuked the shitter last time. To be fair, they had just stopped at an Applebee's. Those Riblets™ go right through ya.

6. Suggestion to include redefinition of torture as "Clay Aiken covering Celine Dion songs" was vetoed by confirmed bachelor Huckleberry Graham.

5. Nothing in DC that a good tornado or cornfield couldn't fix. Whatever happened to good ol' moxie n' gumption?

4. Milbank keeps refilling Broder's "hidden" bottle of Cutty with milk of magnesia.

3. Potty-mouthed bloggers think they're soooo fucking smart. Well, if they can't see how eminently even-handed Broder's sensible midwestern moderation is, how smart could they really be? QED, coastal elites!

2. Froomkin's Drakkar Noir making allergies act up.

1. They don't make fiery independents like ol' Joe Lieberman no more. They're just a bunch of extremists like that know-it-all asshole Kerry.

(Photo of Bush hugging and kissing somebody who knows anything unavailable.)

[update 2:10PM PDT: Forgot about the other "independent" who embraced Mister Man]

Yep, you can really feel the maverickness emanating. Independents unite!

1 comment:

libhom said...

Love the pic of John "Keating Five" McCain. That corrupt politician sure has a lot of people fooled.